Category: Legends

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The Superhero Diaries 5.4: Off Note and the Undertones

Long time no see,
Dear EFB
I had hoped to hide somewhat longer
My power’s depleted
My cohorts defeated
And trapped in a realm between realms
They linger amidst the ether
Snigger, and almost teeter
On the point of crossing over, yet fail
They wail
And hum, Greensleeves
Though it could be neater
They will be back one day

But until they are
I have something else to share
A new band have become my backing crew

The Undertones they are called
They rumble and are rugged – all
And are prepared for a battle royale

And thanks to Psychic Sue
My secondary crew
Know how to access your lair
They use undercurrents galore
Within a psychic flair
And can be anywhere
In an instant or two

So prepare, Psychic Sue
And you,
Muriel Magnificent
We are coming for you.

Until the Flatnotes return, The Off Note and The Undertones will be topping the bill.

More (hopefully!) next week.


 

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The Superhero Diaries 5.3: Psychic Recordings

This is Psychic Sue undertaking a test of the Wireless Psychic Recorder on the Sixth floor of the EFB Headquarters. The battery strength is at 98 per cent, and the signal strength to the base unit is fluctuating between 87 and 98. One hundred is the best signal strength that can be obtained, so around the ninety mark isn’t too bad. And I’m inside a lift with the main Psychic Recorder being on the ground floor, so this isn’t too bad at all.

The lift has shuddered as I’ve reached the Sixth floor, which is unusual. But thinking about it, it hasn’t used this part of the programming for a few years as nobody has been to the Sixth floor since the Haunting, so it may be a little rusty.

The lift door opened quite quickly, all things considered and I’m now facing a dark corridor. The corridor runs across the centre of this floor, with twelve rooms to the right hand side and three rooms to the left, with the much larger room being open plan at the end of the corridor.

It is this open plan area that I’m investigating today, just to see if anything remains from the Haunting several years ago.

The whole floor is in darkness, but there’s a light switch around here some –OWW! A static shock from the light switch. The lights are on now. Oops. Now they’re off again. I think I’ll switch them off and use my tor –OWW! Again!!!

The battery strength has now dropped suddenly to 72 per cent. The static charge must be affecting it somehow. The signal strength is still good. I can hear a knocking coming from room four on this floor, but I think a window may be open in there. I’ll be checking the rooms out later, but for now my mission is to concentrate on the open plan area.

OK. I’m here. The temperature is definitely much cooler. In fact I think I can see my breath, but in the darkness, even with the torch I can’t see it being that cold. I must be imagining it.

But there is some eerie music coming from around here. The recorder isn’t picking it up, which is odd, but I am. It’s like a constant humming, although quite out of tune and rather flat. It’s stronger here in the centre of the room.

I’ll sit on this sofa and call out to see if anyone is there.

That’s odd. The recorder didn’t pick up my voice as I spoke, yet I can see it registering my thoughts.

OWW!

Static again. I’m not near anything electrical here. This sofa is covered in red velvet – I suppose it could have been charged by the record –OWW!

I’m not staying here. That one hurt.

I’ll go over to the corner and see if there’s anything over there.

The humming is stronger here. Still as flat as a pancake and I can’t make out the tune – Greensleeves? It is! It’s Greensleeves. A flat version but I can get it – lala lala lalala la la… it’s stopped.

Do you not like my singing? Carry on, please. I was enjoying it.

Flat

Hello. I can hear you. Don’t worry about being flat. Please… just sing.

Flat.

No, please. Sing again – hum again.

FLAT!!!

You aren’t referring to your singing, are you? Try to say it again. Slowly.

Flat.

Yes. Keep on. Flat…

Flat N…

Flat ‘N’? Please try one more time.

FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES.

Thank you. Are you trying to say ‘Flat Notes’? Are you… Gasp! I know who you are.

The battery strength is now down to eighteen per cent. I’d best leave this floor straight away and call an emergency meeting. The Flatnotes are the other-wordly henchmen of one of our greatest foes who hasn’t been around for a while… the diabolical Off Note.

I’d best run if they are trying to get through, they can grab through dimensions and hold us firm. I felt an icy hand on my shoulder then – that’s why it’s so cold. I should have realised this sooner. Picked up on it! I was convinced we had ghosts… Battery strength is now two per *


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The Superhero Diaries 5.2: Sia Klath

Hi… Lycralad here again from the Elite Force of Britain. Do you remember, last week, when I told you about one of our documents being unceremoniously leaked? You do? Good, I have another to share this week… although, this one is more of a news report that appeared in one of our local newspapers here. I think we found it wrapped around a portion of chips. Still, nothing too revealing appeared at face value:

The Mid Festival and Parade was thrown into disarray yesterday, Friday, when some space debris crashed into the top floor of the disused Midtown Building. Worried festival goers fled swiftly for cover, but with Mid being home to the Elite Force of Britain they didn’t need to worry for long.

In almost an instant, seven members of the super-powered group appeared on the scene. Monika Grave, aged 42, said they seemed to appear out of thin air.

Firetop and the Stealth Gentleman were carried by Lycralad to the rooftop, the Crimson Songbird flew herself and Psychic Sue to the top, and Muriel Magnificent carried the Diver. Invisible Charlie was also there, but nobody saw him, making the actual number of superheroes on the scene eight.

They made sure the debris was safe, with Firetop welding it securely into place into the side of the building.

Albert Bloo, 22, complained that it was now an eye-sore, but with Mid being an eye-sore in itself it didn’t matter. Mr Bloo quickly departed as the local residents began to boo.

They didn’t boo for long, however, as the nine superheroes (another one appeared on the rooftop, who Muriel Magnificent, 504, named as Sia Klath, one of the EFB’s friends and twentieth member of the group).

With the crowd cheering once again and the scene secure once more, the Mid Festival and Parade continued without further incident. Photos of the day will appear in next week’s Wednesday edition, unless the threatened industrial action closes the printing presses, in which case they will appear in the next edition of the Reporter, whenever that may be.

Shawn Rogers-Hammerstein, aged 50, took a few photos of the scene as it developed.

News was emerging last night that the debris that crashed into the building was actually a spaceship, with Sia Klath being the craft’s pilot. Nobody seems to know anything about this mysterious person, she hasn’t appeared anywhere else in the country, and doesn’t have a social media account.

We will be following this story in the aim of finding out a little more about this mysterious Sia Klath.


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The Superhero Diaries 4.7: Apparitions

The Elite Force of Britain: a group of superheroes who joined together to eradicate problem after problem. Recently, the team appear to have disappeared from existence… or have they? The diabolical supervillain organisation Supervillains United are going to great lengths to try to prove newspaper reports to the contrary that the superheroes appear to be making a comeback. Nothing definite, but such reports are giving citizens everywhere the hope they are longing for. Here’s a report from the local newspaper The Mid and Up Chronicle:

What links Moyobamba, Peru, Adelaide, South Africa, and Dalvík, Iceland? Certainly not their geographical locations, weather systems, populations, or distances from London. But each of these three places and, it is beginning to transpire, other places around the globe, are starting to experience a most unusual – but certainly linked – phenomenon.

A coach party in Moyobamba report being held up at a crossroads by a team of heavily armed and military clothed men, one of whom was about to step aboard the coach when all around them the sound of a beautiful dawn chorus was heard. The would-be highwaymen fell to the floor, screaming and holding their ears as the sound was deafening. The coach party heard relaxing birdsong. The man who tried to get onto the bus was lifted by the collar of his jacket and thrown back out through the open door. There was no physical presence, but a lady sitting close to the front of the coach caught glimpses of the colour crimson and the scent of a familiar perfume.

A traffic warden in Adelaide was lifted off her feet shortly before an out-of-control jeep careered into the brick wall by which she was walking. Although she remembers seeing nobody around her, she could feel a pair of extremely long arms lifting her over to the other side of the road; and she definitely remembers feeling the arms become shorter as she was placed back onto the ground. She also remembers hearing the words “You’re safe now”.

And a couple of tourists in Dalvík found themselves an unusual problem when their popcorn making machine failed, when suddenly the corn in the bag started popping all by itself, the top of the bag bursting into flames briefly before opening, allowing the tourists to devour the delicious and hot popcorn.

These reports point out to us here at the Chronicle that the powers of three of the Elite Force of Britain are being used: Crimson Songbird’s warbling in Peru; Bettystretch’s stretching ability in South Africa; and Firetop’s heat control powers in Iceland. Why they are in those places remains as much a mystery as why the superheroes disappeared in the first place, but if they are where the stories are filtering through from, it means that the superheroes are here on Earth with us. Hidden, and appearing as ghosts or apparitions, but they are here.

Supervillains United have discounted these reports as fake news, and dismissed them as fireside ghost stories.

The team here at the Chronicle feel otherwise, and hope that these reports are the start of the return of the Elite Force of Britain.