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The Superhero Diaries 4.8: Interventions

The Elite Force of Britain: a group of superheroes who joined together to eradicate problems for everyday folk as and when they arise. Arch foes to groups of supervillains such as Supervillains United, they regularly thwart their dastardly plans. Recently, however, the team seem to have disappeared from existence. Reports have been filtering through that our heroes may be staging a return – albeit a subtle one. Following on from last week’s report that featured in The Mid and Up Chronicle, here’s another from The Olde Yorke Digeste:


A roofless ruin in an abandoned town is hardly the setting for an armed siege, but that is exactly what happened on Tuesday. Linda, Tasmania, was the scene, and the stage was set through the open windows of the old Royal Hotel. Holed up inside the building’s shell were members of the UK’s The Pinchem Mob, a subsidiary of Supervillains United. They were, apparently, waiting to be picked up with their as-yet-undisclosed ill-gotten gains, and decided to use Linda as their meeting point.

The arrested members of the group, who were all wrapped in steel girders when dropped off at a police station in Hobart, didn’t speak when asked questions by the police. Fire crews were called to cut them out of the girders, and each one of the five arrested had a note clipped to their shirts with a signed confession attached. The notes also contained details of where their stolen items had been kept for safe keeping. The notes were counter-signed by ‘a friend’.

The strange thing is, which was only disclosed afterwards when one of the Pinchem Mob couldn’t keep quiet any longer, none of them saw who caught them. One minute, he said, they were waiting, and the next they were wrapped in girders and being bundled onto what looked like a Stealth Jet.

Only one person owns their own Stealth Jet, according to British media, and that is the Stealth Gentleman. With no sightings of this British superhero, one can only wonder if it was truly him. And ask why appear in Tasmania? Of course, the other question is why the Pinchem Mob would be there also… but with supervillains being as despicable as they are they could be anywhere.

The strange encounters have continued throughout this week. On Tuesday in San Pedro, Chile, a missing chicken sign was returned to the restaurant from where it had belonged to the owners for generations. The thief, who named himself Pedro Galvarino (although his documents seized by police indicated a different name), handed himself and the chicken sign in to police. He said, rather confused, that he was taking the chicken as a trophy, but a woman’s voice in his head commanded that he walk with it to the nearest police station. He said the voice was telling him to go to the nearest police station to her so he had walked for hours with it, the leather on the soles of his shoes in tatters. As he didn’t know where the woman’s voice was coming from, he eventually threw himself through the doors of the first police station he came across.

British media have advised this seems to be the work of Psychic Sue, although they are baffled why she would make the thief walk so far. In the end, they think he may have misinterpreted her instructions. Why would she be in Chile?

And on Wednesday, in Kiambu, Kenya, a group of joggers out for their daily exercise found themselves running into the British supervillain The Dyemaster. Their neat white shorts and green tee shirts were splattered by various colours of dye from the pesky villain’s Dyegun, and he was attempting to tie-dye dry them if they didn’t hand over their bank cards and pin numbers. Obviously not being the brightest tool in the box, the Dyemaster hadn’t realised the joggers were joggers and thought they were tourists. Still, attempted theft is a crime to some, and tie-dye is one to others, so he had to be stopped. Within seconds, the Dyegun vanished from sight, as did the TieDyeDryer. The supervillain was thwarted by an unseen force and the jiggers were asked to sit on him until the police arrived, who were mere seconds away.

British media say this sounds like the work of Invisible Charlie, but have no idea why he is in Kenya.

Supervillains United released a news release mocking these reports, advising that the superheroes no longer protect Britain or the world and these reports are mere figments of people’s terrified imaginations.

The police forces in all the countries concerned confirm the stories as true, so we here at the Olde Yorke Digeste are convinced that our superheroes are still with us, and are on a secret mission. They will return in due course.

And we live in hope, as always.


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The Superhero Diaries 4.5: Emily

The Elite Force of Britain: a group of superheroes who joined together to eradicate problem after problem. Recently, the team have been somewhat otherwise engaged. Some are now speculating missing in action. Rumours had it that some superheroes were off-world on a secret mission – a fact now seemingly discounted by N.A.S.A. (the North Atlantic Spaceways Agency; they always get confused with the other NASA) and other folk say the superheroes are busy dealing with more home-grown issues. Supervillains United are having a field day with their arch nemesises being ‘elsewhere’… and ‘ordinary’ folk are now getting slightly worried… Here are two letters from concerned citizens, both coincidentally named Emily (the second letter was found discarded in a tip outside the EFB Secret Headquarters) (the authenticity of both letters has yet to be determined):

Dear Superheroes,

Where are you?

Why have you deserted us?

Mrs Jones, my teacher, says you have gone to teach us all a lesson. To tell us not to rely on others but to trust in ourselves and do our own thing.

I don’t believe it.

My friend, Curtis Ooma, was rescued by you once. He couldn’t help himself. He was seven. He was trapped when the dam exploded. Without you. He’d have gone.

Mrs Jones says the dam exploded because of you, but I don’t believe that. She says it is all in the natural balance of things, and with you not being here the balance will be restored. I haven’t said anything to her, but how can you not being here cause balance? And how can all those evil baddies create balance?

I don’t trust what I’m being told. What I see doesn’t match what should be. If I can see that, at eight years old, why can’t grown ups? I’ve always known that trust is the biggest virtue, but what is trust when there is nothing to back it up?

Where are you?

Please come back and let me trust again.

Let me believe again.

I’m lost without you.

And I’m not the only one.

Love, Emily.

Dear Superheroes,

Where are you?

My name is Emily and I’m nine years old and last week my pet Tiddles got stuck up a tree and Daddy had to climb up and rescue her because it was wet and because it was wet he slipped and fell out and broken his arm.

Tiddles jumped down just afterwards but daddys arm is now very sore and you could have helped if you’d have been here like you did with Monster last year.

Please write back to me and let me know you are OK.

My favourite superhero is Crimson Songbird as red is my favourite colour.

Thank you

Emily

Aged 9

And Tiddles

Aged 1¼


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The Superhero Diaries 4.2: The Villains’ Code

The Elite Force of Britain: a group of superheroes who joined together to solve one town’s problems, and decided to stick together as they liked how things turned out. Recently, however, the team have been missing. Some on an important mission off-world, others involved in cases on their own. Due to the severe lack in superheroes, the balance of power has switched to another group. The despicable Supervillains United. The wider world at large have been up in arms, speculating just when their protectors for good over evil will return. And also due to the lack of superheroes, newer costumed crimefighters have been taking to the streets to clear them once and for all of the tyranny of the supervillain supergroup. AND where there are groups of supervillains, there are squabbles and arguments and fallings out… meaning some supervillains have also switched sides and joined the ranks of their missing superheroes.

A fact not unnoticed by the SVU themselves. Here follows the text from a flyer that had been glued to a lamppost:

Supervillains everywhere,

I implore you to unite with those of us who have created the greatest team of Supervillains in existence; Supervillains United.

We can use our powers, our resources, our cunning and our skills to our greater benefit if we band together and work together. We can help each other. We can protect each other from our adversaries from the Elite Force of Britain and their associates. We can trap them, discover their secrets, their weaknesses… and we can combine our forces to bring about defeat after defeat to those who stand in our way.

Supervillains everywhere,

You are either with us or not. And if not, you stand against us. You stand with the Superheroes, the very people who want to stop us from living the very lives that we dream of.

If you stand against us, like the Superheroes who stand in our way, you will pay for your chosen path. If you stand with us, you will be protected by the Villains’ Code. Our Code.

To join us, simply fill in the form overleaf and return it to the SVU Headquarters. We know who you are. We await your reply.

We have opted not to include the form, as some folk have been registering other people’s details to join this despicable organisation

As we said in the introduction, folk are getting tired of these supervillains running the show, and have been speculating upon the heroes’ return. Here’s the latest issue of the new Just So magazine (full of super-celebrity gossip):

And in case you can’t make out the headline, it reads “EXCLUSIVE! Elite Force of Britain: They’re Back! And this time, they have friends!”

But, is this headline true? Are our heroes back? And what are the SVU planning next? Find out in the next edition of The Superhero Diaries!

As it has been a while, 4.1 is here. Links to previous instalments are in the Storylines page.


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Wordle: Longing

Emotions flow like rivers
Epic thoughts blow in and out in gusts
List after list of questions or needs appear
Should I? Shouldn’t I?
I hesitate.
Would you?
Feelings dump themselves upon me
Trying to hammer home what they need
What I need
It’s late and I can’t think straight
Dreams too come into the frame
Give me a sense of what it could be like
But
No.
I must protect myself

Like I would you, if only you knew.


 

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The Tree at the Edge of Elsewhere

Right at the edge of Elsewhere sits a quaint and magical forest. Full of old trees, echoes of legends whisper through the leaves as the gentle breeze makes its way to the centre of the forest. Knowledge comes flooding in. Sense of purpose. Hope. Dreams. Wisdom. Realisation.

Elsewhere is forever changing. It adapts to suit the mood of the observer. It creates shadows if shadows are needed. Stories too, if required. Look beyond the final tree at Legends Point and a whole new world opens up ahead, within arm’s reach. Almost within grabbing distance.

That new world is there to be grabbed. Well, to be made. Elsewhere provides the inspiration, the enthusiasm, the spark and the flicker of light to set things in motion. The idea for the way forward.

The final tree is known locally as the Elsew Tree.

Those same locals know that taking the tree out of the equation, leaves only here behind.

Here is now.

And Now is where all of those dreams of Elsewhere really begin.