Category: Well, I Never!

ConfusionFeel GOOD!Super HeroesWell, I Never!

The Superhero Diaries 4.9: Draft Declaration

The Elite Force of Britain: a group of superheroes who joined together to eradicate problems for everyday folk as and when they arise. Arch foes to groups of supervillains such as Supervillains United, they regularly thwart their despicable plans. Recently, however, the team returned from an as-yet-unknown mission which left the world pondering the possibility they had gone for good. Many celebrated the heroes’ return, but some, the supervillains in particular, were none too pleased, as this letter (found discarded in a skip) indicates.

Dear Superheroes,

Just as you made your ridiculous return into our world, to all the joy and celebrations of those who do not know any better, please let it be known that your disappearance has given us, Supervillains United, and the ever-expanding groups of supervillains in the greater world, the strength and direction to know that we can and will manage to overthrow and undermine and control and infiltrate and subvert and dissect and take over, bit by bit and piece by piece, every single strand and aspect and division of society that you seem to feel you stand to uphold and value.

Please be aware that we have the means to watch your every move, track your every motion, hear each and every heartbeat, and relish every bead of sweat that drip from your foreheads as you cower in fear and frustration at what your disappearance has called.

You will all, one by one, individually and then collectively, fall at our hands, beg for our mercy, and then, if we deem you worthy, will join our ranks. Those of you unworthy, of whom there are many, will be crushed and discarded.

We are the way forward. We are the controllers of destiny. We are united in our goal and you superheroes, even with your vast array of superpowers, gadgets and cunning, will find yourselves powerless and belittled in our mist.

And you will find your numbers diminishing once again. One by one you will vanish, disappear, or turn away. Your weakness is our strength, our food, and we are all hungry.

To start your decline, we already have one of your number. Captured as she was like a fly in a spider’s web, Parrot Girl was the first to fall foul to our advances. Simba Katiya was the victor in this battle. Parrot Girl didn’t stand a chance against the articulated lorry that she was thrown into the path of.

Keep your eyes peeled, ‘heroes’, for we know who our next target is. The world will soon be free. Well, free from your ‘protection’ as you seem to think. We can and will show the world the true meaning and cost of protection. This is our vow. You will join us or fall. We are united. Supervillains United. And we will not fail in our mission.

By Halloween it will all be over.

Kind Regards,

The Dropped Apostophe
pp. Simba Katiya
Prof-reader: Re’type – typo in parragraph for – mist should be midst – and the whle meaning of the letter seem’s too …soft

**********


ConfusionFeel GOOD!HalloweenWell, I Never!Words

Inktober: Poison

Day three, or October 3rd, in the #Inktober Initiative. Today’s theme is ‘Poison’… and would you believe it? We have come across some… two clearly labelled bottles of it in fact, on an old, cobweb-covered shelf. What are the chances of that?, I hear you ask. And I myself wonder the same…

Yesterday we were rapping on the door of Swift Manor, but couldn’t get in. We’ve returned there today, and as if by magic, the doors – both of them – opened by themselves. Inside the long dark hallway there are a number of doors – the middle one on the left open just a little, and I’m sure a voice called from within the room ‘In here!’. Obviously the room was empty, apart from the spiders and the cobwebs and dusty old furniture – and these two wonky bottles of poison on the shelf.


ConfusionFavouritesFeel GOOD!HalloweenRandom

Oops. October Approaches.

The floodgates are startin’ to open
And nonsense is startin’ a-pokin’
October is nigh
Oh me! Oh my!
As All Hallows’ month is approachin’!

Oh me! Oh my! I’ve started early this year. In five days I shall be handing the reigns of the blog over to my Inner Beast who, it is planned, will fill this place full of Hallowe’en madness and utter nonsense. The Halloween theme will filter through most of my regular features, The Slightly Spooky Totally Silly Limericks will return once again, I’m also taking part in Inktober, which will be fun, and I am preparing for a Hallowe’en special to ‘beat all specials’ this year. Well, it’s a different kind of Hallowe’en post (which was, originally, going to be a weekly series to replace my Letters to the Universe series, and it is also the reason why I’m having to spend less time actually in Blogland itself… and as it has become such a monumental task, I think a one-off would be the better option for now. That said, it does leave the gates (not the floodgates, just the normal ones!) open for the weekly Letters to the Universe to return, as soon as we find out where those missing superheroes are!)

So that’s the plan.

Plans change, but that’s the plan for October for now. And yes, I shall be replying to comments and visiting again soon. I seem to always say that… but I get there in the end.

In the meantime… Feel Good! Enjoy the final few days of September. Already! I can’t believe it!!!


ConfusionFavouritesFeel GOOD!LegendsSuper Heroes

The Superhero Diaries 4.3: Regretfully Yours

The Elite Force of Britain: a group of superheroes who joined together to solve one problem and decided to stick together to solve many. Lately, however, the team have been elsewhere. Some superheroes are on an important mission on a planet far, far away, and others are dealing with more home-grown issues. Due to this lack in superheroes, the despicable Supervillains United have taken the opportunity to strike.
Speculation is running high that the superheroes’ return is imminent, so the SVU are swiftly undertaking a recruitment campaign to swell their number.

The even more despicable Dropped Apostrophe is in charge of recruitment. And he is ‘roofless’ as he occasionally describes himself. A rejection letter has been delivered to a wannabe new member, it appears the applicant’s name had been deliberately left off the letter.

Dear

Thank you for your recent request to join Supervillain’s United (you’re only true supervillain group).

Regretfully at this time, we are unable to offer you a permanent place within our membership.

Our background cheques have revealed that you were once saved by a member of the Elite Farce of Britain, and as such we deem you to be more loyal to their cause than hours.

If, however, you choose to persew further your request to join are ranks, please fill out another form and get it back to us, wear we can cheque you agane.

Regretfully Your’s,

The Dropped Apostrophe UPR CSE cmma FLSTP

Designated Commander Recruitment Division