Smile!
Smile!
And the world will smile with you!
A Long Long Time Ago Whilst Posing
“This will be the main image for the Big Chamber, husband. It can go on the big wall.” Queen Ellimayee told King Rabletop III whilst trying to stay as still as she possibly could, as the chief decorator looked on desperately trying to remember their poses in great detail. “Agnes, our chief servant, has already done her poses for the Upper and Lower Borders. We can add our regal poses for the left and right of the main image at a later time. We don’t want to overwork Cedric today.”
“Today?” Rabletop whispered in reply. “It will take him over a year just to mix the paint. It’s no wonder we look nothing like our images when they’re complete.”
“We have changed since our last portraits were done, I agree.” Ellimayee agreed.
“We haven’t changed that much. And Cedric’s excuse that the paint was cracking doesn’t wash with me either.”
A Long Long Time Ago Whilst Shopping
“Husband, what is it?” Queen Ellimayee looked on as her husband, King Rabletop III emerged from the store and stood at the top of the steps, his hands out in front of him.
“This store is rubbish!” He declared. “Not a grape in sight. Nor a pear. Nor a, erm, banana-thing.”
Ellimayee rolled her eyes. “Please, husband, when we get back to the Palace of the Sands, please consult the Book of Thoth once again. This is the home furnishings store. The fruit merchant is next door.”
Disgruntled, Rabletop screwed his face. “Please tell me again, wife, why we have come shopping and not commanded our servants to do so for us?”
“Because, husband, you said you wanted to get out with the people more.”
“Indeed I did,” Rabletop thumbed to the store behind him, “but I meant by getting out in the sun to give our commandments, not this!”
A Long Long Time Ago Around Bathtime
Queen Ellimayee waited patiently as her four servants poured warm water into her bath.
She then waited a while longer as the four servants left the room, to return a short while later with fresh goat milk to add to the water. Then, Ellimayee waited again as the four left the room, to return with a large selection of sliced strawberries and rose petals. They sprinkled these into the bath water also. A fifth servant then entered the room and with a large mop, and gently stirred the contents of the sunken bath to give them a good mix. Ellimayee then had to wait while this servant picked the pieces of strawberry and rose petals out of the mop and scatter them back into the water. All five servants left the room, allowing Ellimayee to disrobe.
“Ah!” Ellimayee remembered. She wrapped her robe around herself again, and dashed out to the kitchen. “I forgot to ask for the honey!”
She searched high and low through all the cupboards and alcoves, and couldn’t find the honey anywhere. Then, she remembered she had left it inside the linen basket in the corner of the bath chamber. She dashed back, intent on finally relaxing in her luxurious bath. She retrieved the jug of runny honey from the linen basket, and stepped around the pillar. She took one step around the pillar and stopped. In front of her, asleep in the bath, was King Rabletop III.
In temper, she threw the jug to the ground, which shattered on impact, sending the honey running in all directions. She then clapped her hands, indicating to her servants that they should all return the the bath chamber immediately.
“If I can’t relax,” she thought, “then neither can he,”
Rabletop slept soundly through all the commotion.
Not so long ago I posted A Long Long Time Ago. This is the second recorded event from around the same time.
A Long Long Time Ago
“My People!” Declared King Rabletop III, as he stood atop the Great Plinth. His wife, Queen Ellimayee stood with the other five people who had gathered around. “Today is a great day in our Kingdom. For today, ahead of the Setting Sun, our First Great Memorial has been created. Future generations will flock to see its remarkable construction which is guaranteed to stand the tests of time.”
“Husband,” Ellimayee held aloft her hand. “Do you think the circular shape is grand enough for such a memorial? Would square, or even triangular, not have been a better option?”
“Triangular? It took over fifty years to create this shape, dear wife. We’re about to go into 3999BC and we need something striking to mark the occasion. Triangular indeed. Has anyone heard of a triangular construction? No, wife, this is the way forward.”
The gathered crowd clapped, and then returned to brushing sand.
