Tag: Fun

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Letters to the Universe… The After The Solstice Edition!

Dear End Of The Week,
You are certainly coming around more quickly now. Not that I’m complaining, as I absolutely adore the weekend, but the speed of your arrival also means that your counterpart, the Beginning Of The Week, gets to arrive in quick order. Would you mind slowing down a tad so as I can keep up with events in the middle?

Dear Heat,
Here we are in Mid-Summer (or the start of Summer, depending upon your perspective) and I would just like to say how refreshing it has been today, Thursday. Gloriously cloudy with the odd sprinkling of rain, you have been more bearable than of late. Not everyone appreciates the rain or cloud-cover, but I do, and the more comfortable the temperatures are the better the Summer, in my opinion.

Dear Summer Solstice,
Today is June 22nd, which is a date you occasionally use to make your appearance known to all of us on Earth. The last time you used this date was back in 1975, the year before we had a run of hot weather similar to what we have experienced this week (according to sources). I remember the hot Summer of 1976 very well, as then, as has happened now, the roads were melting. I read you won’t be using June 22nd for another Solstice until 2203, which is rather a shame as a change is as good as a rest, but at least you are using 20th on occasion as well as the 21st. Happy Summer Solstice, by the way!

Dear Fan,
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That is all I can say. Over and over again.

Dear Blackbird,
How pleasant it was that you didn’t fly away as I walked by you earlier today. You were too busy looking for tasty morsels to notice me in your immediate area, but when you spotted me with your ringed eye you didn’t flinch. I thought a friendly ‘hello’ to you, and you carried on with your business. See – not everyone means you harm, but you are right not to trust everybody.

Dear Journalists / Newsreaders / Presenters,
I’m not very politically minded, and I’m not all that keen on you guys either, but lately you appear to me to be trying to lead the country. Regardless of your personal opinion, which shouldn’t really come across as unbiased as you are, I think you should just stick to your journaling, reading and presenting, and leave the leading to those who have been democratically elected. If change is needed it will work its way through, by those who have been selected by the population to do so. If you aren’t attempting to lead the country, then I apologise for saying otherwise, but this is what I’ve picked up from your reports. Maybe you need to be a little clearer in what you say? Just sayin’.

Dear The Word Argle-Bargle,
‘Copious but meaningless talk or writing; nonsense’; I think I may use you in my next tag line. Fitting that I discover you at this point in my weekly letters!

Dear The Word Criticaster,
There’s always one, isn’t there?

Dear Complexion,
Lovely that you appear so peachy smooth in a morning, but such a shame that you turn into a shrivelled prune by teatime. I know it’s the heat’s fault, and not yours, and I am drinking gallons of water to keep both me and you replenished, but you could help by holding up those under the eye bags a little longer. That way there would be less advertising space.

Dear Sleep,
So grateful that you haven’t been disturbed by the recent hot weather. As we have now passed the Summer Solstice, the nights are starting to get longer, so you may find your power increasing somewhat. Could I kindly request that you remember I do have to get up early most mornings, so hanging around after the alarm has gone off can be very tempting. At the weekend, you can hang around for as long as you like! Perhaps you have something to do with Letter One in today’s post? Now there’s a thought…

And to finish… Dear All,
Please remember that life is meant to be fun; well I think it is. Try to see the fun, lighter side to things and things aren’t as bad as they appear. And if they are, laugh anyway!

Thank you for reading!

P.S. Here’s an old digital painting I did of the Sun, just because:

Well, you need a bit of Sun at the Summer Solstice. (Long-time readers and visitors may recognise this image as it is one I used for my Gravatar back in the pre-history days of blogging!)

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Spectacle

Debbie’s theme for her one-word photo challenge (One-Word Sunday) this week is Spectacle, so I thought I’d take it literally and make a spectacle of my spectacle collection. They aren’t actually my spectacles, just my collection of them, so I suppose that does make them mine, just not mine mine. I also thought to try my hand at using some of the photo manipulation tools that are available in my free version of Photoshop Elements that I got when I bought some computer art software a while back. I like manipulating images, but usually do it with the things I create using PowerPoint (several of which, I might plug add, can be seen on my other blog Splodge and Splatter), although I have touched up the odd photo or two from time to time.

I’m not used to using a lot of the tools, however, so it’s like new territory for me. For this first photo, I used the Orton Effect, which somehow slightly altered the look of the photo yet at the same time kept it looking as it originally did. A photographic paradox if you like… how can something look different and the same at the same time?

For the following two photos, I got carried away with the Tilt Shift option, and although the effect didn’t look quite as Tilt Shifty as I was expecting, I quite like the effect as it turned out.

Even if it was a little over-blurry.

But then, that’s what spectacles are for.

Visit Debbie’s blog for other takes on her theme. The link is at the beginning of this post.

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Mead and Mortals

Lightning flashed and made her look up. The doors to the inn, a mere second later, swung inwards simultaneously and the room was instantly filled with a strong-odoured wind.

“By the gods!” the woman muttered, but stayed where she was, propped.

Zeus walked into the inn, followed by his consort Hera.

“Wench!” He bellowed, “A tankard of your finest mead!”

The woman stayed where she was,  elbows on the bar with her chin resting upon her ample and severely uplifted bosom.

“Zeus!” Hera admonished. “You must not speak like that, in such a derogatory way, towards women. How dare you. Apologise. Now!” She glared at Zeus with such strength he felt a hole beginning to bore into his head.

“It’s…” The woman tried to speak, but Zeus held aloft his hand and interrupted her.

“Woman!” He bellowed once again, toward Hera this time. “How dare YOU! Do you not know to whom you speak? I am Zeus, knower of everything!” His voice echoed around the room. Hera sheepishly looked away for a second.

“I’m…” The woman tried to speak again, but Hera stopped her this time.

“Patience, child. I have a matter with this ‘gentleman’ which must be settled first. He thinks he’s the ruler of the gods! The fool”.

“…” The woman tried to speak for a third time, and both stopped her by holding aloft their hands.

“I AM the ruler of the gods, Hera. And the waves. And the fire. And the nymphs. AND the wenches.” Zeus looked at the woman at the bar, who was propped but agog.

“ZEUS! Remember your place. You are upon the Earth now, and it is these mortals who think they rule the domain. You must respect that, and their ways, whilst you are here. Now, I shall get the drinks.”

Hera looked over at the woman who was literally on the bar. She noticed the woman hadn’t changed position since they’d walked in, which was a strange thing for a mortal to do in the presence of any god. Zeus tried to speak, but Hera simply held up her hand and stopped him. “Are you alright, child?” Hera asked with compassion. “Tell me, what is your name.”

“It’s Wenshetta. Wench for short.”

Hera glanced over to Zeus who was silently whistling into the air. He said nothing.

“Ah. Erm, your stance, child. Are you hurt?”

“No,” Wench replied, “but the mead cupboard toppled over behind the bar and has me trapped here. I’ve been waiting all day for someone to walk in. I’m bursting for the loo, and all this mead everywhere isn’t helping.”

“So you have NO mead?” Zeus boomed.

“ZEUS!” Hera was livid.

It didn’t take them long to help Wench out of her predicament and as a thank you, after a lengthy wait whilst Wench saw to her natural needs, they all sat at the inn’s only table by the roaring log fire, with a tankard of the inn’s finest mead each.

“Nectar to the gods!” Zeus beamed, once finished.

“And no charge” Wench said. “as a thank you”

“CHARGE!!!” Zeus returned to booming once again.

“ZEUS!” Hera now boomed. She looked towards Wench. “Thank you child, we shall now depart for we have a long journey ahead. Or one of us does, should the other not make it.” She glared at Zeus once again.

Wench watched them walk out of the door.

“She was going to charge us. ME! Ruler of the gods. Does she know not to whom she served?”

“Zeus!”

The doors closed behind them, and they were gone.

“By the gods!” Wench muttered, once again. “Some people!”