Tag: Letters to the Universe

Letters The To Universe… Rearranged Edition, The

Dear Desk,
I’m awfully sorry to keep shifting you and things this way and that… but it is all for a good cause – it’s so I can use my brand new computer with ginormous monitor to do one thing, whilst using my existing computer to do another, such as update my blog. Your current layout works do much better than previous attempts, so I’m sticking with this one.

Dear Old Computer,
See? I told you I would still be using you.

Dear New Computer,
Hello and welcome to the Mansion, and beyond! I’m still installing my software, which I know will take a while, but it is taking a while. I shall get there one day soon, I know it!

Dear Thoughtless Dillops,
As you know, your terrible driving gives me the right to give you the name ‘dillop’. You may not give your disregard for other road users a second thought, but for some reason lately, I have been troubled by your less than adequate driving skills. I’m writing just to let you know, that from now on, you are on your own, and I shall merely observe your behaviour and dismiss both it and you in that instant. I need to rearrange my thought processes a little, but without having your actions there cluttering my mind, I should find this task quite easy.

Dear December,
Have you rearranged your days this year? I’m sure it was the first only yesterday.

Dear Brexit,
I do hope you are not trying to secretly try to coerce my vote should we be plunged into another ridiculous referendum. I tried to find an unusual word online that meant the same as ‘rearrange’, so it would tie in with this week’s Letters To The Universe. The website I chose advised me an antonym for ‘rearrange’ is ‘remain’, which made me think that it isn’t exactly an opposite meaning. Unless it’s just me and all I can see as the opposite there is leave.

Dear Fingers,
Please be aware that just because I haven’t mentioned you for a while, I am still aware that you are trying to influence my typing by rearranging my letters for me. Just because the keyboard is on the opposite side of the desk, the keys are still in the same place that they always have been.

Dear Blogland,
Just to explain, Fingers, for those of you who may be unaware, is my Inner Typist. He loves nothing more than rearranging my typing as I type. He makes it take twice as long to get a good post out.

And Finally, Dear Becky,
I’m running out of square photos for your December Square ‘Time’ challenge, but I do have a couple left… ‘foody’ ones, if you like. Today’s photo is ‘Lunch Time’…

Thank you for reading,

P.S. This is a scheduled post, so I shall be adding a link to Becky’s psot ltaer tdaoy. Orehtswie, vsiit Bkecy’s stie tughorh the Lniks Pgae avobe. FINGERS!!!!!

Letters To The Universe… The First Edition In December

Dear December,
Nice to see you again, but haven’t you only just left from last year?

Dear December Weather,
I don’t know where I’ve gotten the idea from, but surely you should have a Wintry Christmas Card feel about you now, shouldn’t you? I mean soon, we may all be sending Christmas Cards with images of grey murky days on them instead of the wonderlands we normally see (together with the robins and baubles and so on!).

Dear Autumn,
I’m sure you weren’t this late last year. I mean some trees still have their full leaves on… and I’m not referring to the evergreens here, either! It’s no wonder the weather (which I’ve addressed in a previous letter) isn’t its normal self.

Dear December,
Are you sure that you are here again, and you haven’t just ‘hung around’ hiding somewhere to take us all by surprise when we least expected it?

Dear December,
Me again! I’d just like to inform you that I haven’t yet seen a single robin this time around… not even on a Christmas Card (as referred to in a previous letter!).

Dear Christmas Decorations,
You are brightening the place up immensely now, I must say, and you are very welcome now that December has come around once again. It doesn’t seem that long ago that you were all being taken down, but that’s December’s fault by springing up on us so suddenly. I am a little concerned that if I blink, I may see you being taken down again in record time, but that appears to be something I just have to get used to now.

Dear Twelvetide,
I’m sorry, but I have only just heard of you. I mean, I know of you, being the Twelve Days of Christmas and all that, starting on December 25th, but I’ve never heard of you before referred to as Twelvetide. Although it does make sense.

And Finally, Dear Christmastide,
Yes, I’ve only just heard of you as well, although Christmas Time and Yuletide are more familiar variations of you which I have heard of. Also, I’m slightly confused as some see you as identical to Twelvetide, and others see you differently. Mind you, I’ve always thought of the Twelve Days of Christmas as leading UP to Christmas Day, so what would I know???

Thank you for reading,

P.S. And here endeth the latest collection of Letters To The Universe, all based on observations or lack thereof! I think I’m going to have to start opening my eyes more, so I can actually take in a lot of what is going on around me, rather than letting a lot of things simply pass me by. Time is passing by at great speed now, so it seems a shame to get to this point of the journey and start missing the view.

Dear Blogland… have a fabulous weekend and wonderful fun-filled week next week.

Letters To The Universe… The Getting Things Right Edition

Dear Me,
Oh, deary, deary me! Indeed… but wait! No need to be facetious, all things considered. You are doing perfectly fine just as you are. There is no need to control everything that happens. There is no need to understand the actions of everybody. There is no need to change your mind because somebody tells you to. You are fine just as you are. No… not fine. Perfect. Even with the flaws, you are still perfect.

Dear Storm Diana,
I’m confused. Did you blow through? Are you still blowing through? Did you blow hot and cold? If it was you on Thursday morning, your winds were very warm indeed… much too warm for this time of the year. But that said, you were a pleasant surprise.

Dear Cyclists,
I know that I cannot control a single thing that you want to do, but I can offer you a piece of advice, should you feel the need to take it (for your own safety more than anything else!) When you are riding on a dark evening, in the midst of ferocious winds and teeming rain, on a busy road, dressed in black, one-handed whilst speaking on a mobile phone, would it not be a good idea to turn your lights on? I think so. For your own safety, more than anything else.

Dear Cyclists,
When you finally turn your lights on, would it not be slightly more courteous to use the one which stays on all of the time for the other road users, rather than using the intense strobe light setting? Your flashing light momentarily distracted me as I was driving earlier and I could easily have not seen the cyclist mentioned in the previous letter. Luckily his lack of light made him stand out in the darkness, but only because his silhouette partially covered a sop window I was passing.

Dear Pedestrians,
Could you please let me know why, when you diagonally cross a road, ambling at a snail’s pace, you are always walking away from the direction of traffic that is moving your way? You seem to do so without a care in the world, even though you know that a huge motorised vehicle is just behind you.  When I was younger I was taught the Green Cross Code on how to cross a road, and still use those rules to this day. You may think me old fashioned, but that’s your problem!

Dear Christmas Decorations,
I’m loving seeing your colours springing up everywhere now that we are in the last few days of NOVEMBER.

Dear  Sleep,
You have been fabulous of late. Most refreshing and I (eventually) wake Feeling Good. I seem to be having strange dreams at the time the alarm goes off though, and in my blurry-eyed dream state it takes me a good half hour to realise it is the alarm that is sounding… even though I seem to subconsciously hit the snooze button every five minutes. Do you think you could look into this for me? I’d do it myself, but I’m just loving the sleep.

And Finally, Dear The News,
I’m going to have to stop watching you again. I am very confused with how you report your stories. One report you are pro ‘this’, and in the next you are against ‘that’. You love to report on people’s failures and downfalls, and seem to be constantly trickling worrisome messages embedded within your stories. You seem to relish on broadcasting state secrets and, in my opinion, you make the country look like a laughing stock showing how everyone is fighting for their version of Brexit. Sigh. I’d rather not know, but having said that, by watching your version of events I’m none the wiser anyway!

Thank you for reading,

P.S. Hello Blogland! Please don’t mind my wafflings in this week’s Letters. I’m just ironing a few things out, that’s all… least of all my brow, which for some reason is all the more furrowed. Next week, I shall write letters to more light-hearted recipients. We do prefer light around here, don’t we?

Happy Weekend!

Letters To The Universe… The Here We Go Again Edition

Dear The Letters To The Universe ‘Regular’ Feature,
Welcome back! It has certainly been a while, hasn’t it? May 4th was the last edition of the last run, if my computer is working correctly. Still, however long ago was the last edition, it is good to be back with this one! Here we go again!

Dear Brexit,
My word! What a palaver! Get a move on, will you? And PLEASE stop talking about another referendum. The decision was made. Move on. Get on. And let’s move forward. Crikey!

Dear You Tube,
Why did you play that earworm of a song, “What’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her?”? I MAY have inadvertently clicked on the wrong link, but even so. That song is buzzing around my head now. And what does it actually mean? (I’m asking myself that, You Tube, so you do not need to reply!)

Dear Dark Evenings,
You’re making the streets like carparks at the moment, I wonder why that is? Whatever the reason, it’s pandemonium out there and a lot of dillops are  discovering their fraying tempers again. Could you please ease off a little? And pass the message on to your companion, the Dark Mornings… I’ve noticed the same thing creeping in there lately as well.

Dear The Word Pandemonium,
Such a fabulous word you are! You describe perfectly what you mean in a nut shell.

Dear Blogland,
Do you remember a ‘dillop’ is one of my words that I’ve created? It is… it means a rude and/or discourteous road user. I’ve seen many of them of late, with their frayed tempers. Brexit must be getting to them, I feel. Dillops – chill out! We’re all in the same boat! (Well car… er road… you know what I mean!)

Dear Sunset,
How gorgeous can you be? You were simply stunning earlier this week. I took a photo from the Place of W… I couldn’t resist!

And Finally, Dear Duck,
I’m sorry I had no snacks for you the other day, but thank you for being ever so gracious and posing so wonderfully for me to take a few photos of you. You really are fabulous!

Thank you for reading,

P.S. The weekend is upon us once again… so that means  it’s time to do our usual weekend stuff… ensuring, obviously, that we have fun doing it! Enjoy! And remember to take as much time as possible to smile. Just a simple smile… even one tiny smile… will make a world of difference.

Happy Weekend!

Letters To The Universe… The It’s All Natural Edition

Dear The Weather,
Hello! What are you up to? Last week, you were cracking the flags with your rather extreme (if I may say so!) early heatwave, yet this week you are letting frost cover the ground. I had to wait for my car to de-ice before driving the other morning, which wasn’t a problem in itself as I had lots of time (unusual for me, but hey!) but you still caught me by surprise. I’m wondering if Global Warming has anything to do with this? Although that said, the cold starts aren’t really an indication of Global Warming, are they?

Dear The Weather,
Hello! Me again! I may have come across a little grumpy in an earlier letter, which wasn’t my intention and I apologise if I had done so. You do a very good job in keeping us all on our toes and alert, which is a god thing, all things considered. At least we don’t become complacent about you, no matter how much we may tend to moan.

Dear The Full Moon,
Looking forward to feeling the build up to your energies over the next week… could I please ask for a sprinkling of that special magic of yours to those that would like it, me included, as you know that you do harness some awesome power! See you next week!

Dear Blogland,
Here I go again with a few more really terrible jokes. I will find the world’s worst joke; and maybe, just maybe, it is contained within this little lot:
. I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
. I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn’t play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrified.
. A man walks into a chemist’s and says, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’ The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’ And the man says, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.’
. I went to the doctor and he said, ‘You’ve got hypochondria.’ I said, ‘Not that as well.’
. A man walked into the doctor’s. He said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.’ The doctor said, ‘Well don’t go there any more.’
. A man walked into the doctor’s. The doctor said, ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time.’ The man replied, ‘I know. I’ve been ill.’
That’s it. That’s all I can take for this week’s Letter. More, I’m afraid to say, next week!

Dear The Word ‘Deedy’,
Meaning ‘industrious or ‘effective’ you certainly live up to your name. Yes indeedy you do! It’s a pity I’m not as deedy with my Spring Cleaning!

Dear Spring Cleaning,
I would love to say that you are coming along nicely, but that would be rather economical on the truth, wouldn’t you say? Oh yes, things are getting done, but not in an efficient manner. Things must greatly improve in this area, or out comes the magic wand… and you know how that works! I may also call in the help from a certain Moon Magic as well next week…

Dear Unscrupulous Data Gatherers and ‘Sharers’,
Here’s hoping that you are quaking in your boots with the forthcoming changes to data protection, with the introduction of GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) this month. I think your shameful practices need sorting out, and can’t wait to start reading about the hefty fines you all receive. Yes, your days, and those of your nuisance caller friends, are numbered. I feel like adding a little hehehe here, so I shall!

Dear Blogland,
I know that I am not a company or anything, but from time to time I may have access to certain details that you provide in terms of comments / emails / messages and the like. As I’ve just mentioned GDPR above, I thought it would be a good idea to mention that any details I receive about you will not and will never be passed on to anybody by me. Not that I know anyone of whom to pass the details on to, but if I did, I wouldn’t. I have values, and this is important to me.

Dear Helicopter Pilot,
Did you not realise it was 12:30 AM when you were hovering over the Mansion on Tuesday morning? The racket your craft was making would have awakened the Souls of the Grinds, and the world doesn’t really need that right now – and it takes weeks for them to settle again afterwards, so it’s a good job you actually didn’t wake them. I also find it funny that you decided to fly off into the night after I popped my head out of the window. As you gathered, presumably, there is nothing to see here. (Although there would have been Hell on Earth had those souls arisen!)

And Finally, Dear Fish,
Nice of you to swim up to the water’s surface as I was ambling by the other day. You are very graceful to watch as you mind your own business, doing your fishy things! Being Piscean, though, I think we do share a little link – although I couldn’t join you under the water’s surface, I’m afraid. Claustrophobic that way, me!

Thank you for reading,

P.S. I’ve just mentioned the fish beneath the Lake’s surface…

…well, that can only mean I simply have to share a photo of them. It. There were more, but only appears to have been picked up by the camera. Most odd indeed! Maybe next time.

Here’s to a FABULOUS weekend!