White Rabbits for March!

Yes, I know this post is a little late to be saying white rabbits, as it’s now almost the second day of March, but sometimes things take a while. Unlike time, I hasten to add… can you believe that it’s March already?

Yesterday, I posted a random post featuring a handful of quotes made by the one and only Aristotle*. One in particular, “No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness” kind of ties into this post. *The famous Aristotle, that is. There may be a few other Aristotles from history that we’re not all familiar with, and Aristotle Jones from number 32 Bridge Lane (just down the road from where my vampire friend, Reg, lives) is one who I should know, but don’t.

Anyway, Aristotle aside, this post is about a particular topic that actually drives me mad. Hair. My hair.

For a few weeks now, it has been slowly growing. Sneakily, behind my back. Well, above my head actually, and around the back, but you know what I’m saying. For a while, it lay in wait. Dormant. Hibernating. (NEW WORD = HAIRBERNATING – the time between spurts in hair growth).

Leaning_Tower_of_Pisa WikipediaIt has now reached the stage that when I get up in a morning – no, when I get up from sitting down! – it looks as though I have just stepped in from a ferocious gale-force wind. I have parts of my hair at complete right angles to other parts. The angles are that precise, I’m sure they could be used to accurately measure the angle at which the tower in Pisa is leaning.

When the right angle decides to calm down, it devolves into the familiar severe flick. At the front, anyway. The back looks as though it is a biblical ocean being parted, diagonally up my head. It’s all rather strange. Nice, feathery curls seem to be licking around my ears from the back of my head, irritating me no end.

My hair, apart from the badness of it, doesn’t usually irritate me as such. It irks me when I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a shop window and look as though I’m walking around with a ship’s sail on my head, but that is how it is. An irk.

The irritation comes from other hairs. Tiny, thick, and so blond, they are invisible hairs that have started sprouting from various parts of my face. One on my upper lip. One on my left ear. One above my right eyebrow. And about three on my right ear.

They force themselves into the light. Tickling and annoying as they edge forwards. I can feel them as I have to itch them, but can not see them. I go a blotchy red after itching them for a while. Tweezers help, and once I manage to find the blighter and pluck it out the relief is ecstatic, for a day or so, and then it starts its irritating growth spurt again. The hairs are so thick, they actually make a ‘pluck’ noise as they are pulled from their seemingly fertile and secure environment.

So now, I look like a man walking around with a sail on his head, with a few red lights dotted around his face for good measure.

Not only do I sound mad, I’m starting to look a little mad as well.

Hopefully, this madness is a clear indication that I have an excellent soul. Well, I hope it’s clear anyway…

Happy March Madness Everyone! I’m late… I’m late…

14 Comments

  1. Tom…one day you must do us all the favour of putting a picture up of your…hair…because in my imagination I picture a man walking around with a sail…and “feathered” curls at the back and lots of red spots…he looks like he’s a hormonal teen! LOL!

    Btw….BAD hair! (Hope that reprimand to your hair helps!!!!) 😉

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    1. Slightly older than a teen, Shree, but you’re on the right track. I found an early photo of me the other day with terrible hair. I may post it one day…

      By the way, I admonish my hair every day with the very same words in your reprimand… they don’t work! 😦

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  2. Haibernating…….I love that word. So much more eloquent than “bad hair day.” Your hair posts are always delightful, Tom. Maybe because I am never happy with my hair.

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  3. Irk… Irk… just trying out the sound of that irritating little word, Sir Aquatom, description wise I mean, ‘cos how can three little letters irritate one?… Irk… or irksome …somewhat longer but still carries a flavour of the shorter .. Irk… Sorry, it’s irking me now..
    I feel somehow with evolution in play, (so they say…) that we’d all be bald as coots by now… It’d save on heck of a hairdressing bill for moi’… and just the thought that with a quick spit (yuck) and polish we’d be rid of that primp here and comb through there, forever glancing to make sure our top knots doing what it should… Um… sorry, I’m wandering off the subject, um.. what was t’subject?… White Rabbits.? no March hares.. .. I bet they don’t have a hairy problem…just au naturale, methinks… xPenx

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  4. Usually men are complaining about lack of hair, but here you are complaining about hairs! What gives, Tom? You threw me for a loop. March hares, indeed! I am annoyed about hairs, my own, that I have to keep going to the salon and getting them trimmed for an enormous sum every six weeks or so. Would that they could just stay the same length or that I could bite them off from the inside or something. Like you, I find it quite annoying. But I dislike not being able to see through my bangs and can’t really conscience letting my hair grow and let it revert to its natural color (a salt and pepper look now) so I make my pilgrimage to the salon and plunk down my sum to my hairdresser for the treatment. Sigh.

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  5. I know the feeling Tom! 🙂

    I have long-ish hair and my left eyebrow points upwards as the older and longer hairs reach for the sky while I have hair sprouting from my ears and nose which have taken on a new lease of life since I reached 50! 😦

    Still: Could be worse! 🙂

    God Bless my friend and White Rabbits indeed…

    Prenin.

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