White Rabbits for March!
Yes, I know this post is a little late to be saying white rabbits, as it’s now almost the second day of March, but sometimes things take a while. Unlike time, I hasten to add… can you believe that it’s March already?
Yesterday, I posted a random post featuring a handful of quotes made by the one and only Aristotle*. One in particular, “No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness” kind of ties into this post. *The famous Aristotle, that is. There may be a few other Aristotles from history that we’re not all familiar with, and Aristotle Jones from number 32 Bridge Lane (just down the road from where my vampire friend, Reg, lives) is one who I should know, but don’t.
Anyway, Aristotle aside, this post is about a particular topic that actually drives me mad. Hair. My hair.
For a few weeks now, it has been slowly growing. Sneakily, behind my back. Well, above my head actually, and around the back, but you know what I’m saying. For a while, it lay in wait. Dormant. Hibernating. (NEW WORD = HAIRBERNATING – the time between spurts in hair growth).
It has now reached the stage that when I get up in a morning – no, when I get up from sitting down! – it looks as though I have just stepped in from a ferocious gale-force wind. I have parts of my hair at complete right angles to other parts. The angles are that precise, I’m sure they could be used to accurately measure the angle at which the tower in Pisa is leaning.
When the right angle decides to calm down, it devolves into the familiar severe flick. At the front, anyway. The back looks as though it is a biblical ocean being parted, diagonally up my head. It’s all rather strange. Nice, feathery curls seem to be licking around my ears from the back of my head, irritating me no end.
My hair, apart from the badness of it, doesn’t usually irritate me as such. It irks me when I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a shop window and look as though I’m walking around with a ship’s sail on my head, but that is how it is. An irk.
The irritation comes from other hairs. Tiny, thick, and so blond, they are invisible hairs that have started sprouting from various parts of my face. One on my upper lip. One on my left ear. One above my right eyebrow. And about three on my right ear.
They force themselves into the light. Tickling and annoying as they edge forwards. I can feel them as I have to itch them, but can not see them. I go a blotchy red after itching them for a while. Tweezers help, and once I manage to find the blighter and pluck it out the relief is ecstatic, for a day or so, and then it starts its irritating growth spurt again. The hairs are so thick, they actually make a ‘pluck’ noise as they are pulled from their seemingly fertile and secure environment.
So now, I look like a man walking around with a sail on his head, with a few red lights dotted around his face for good measure.
Not only do I sound mad, I’m starting to look a little mad as well.
Hopefully, this madness is a clear indication that I have an excellent soul. Well, I hope it’s clear anyway…
Happy March Madness Everyone! I’m late… I’m late…