Beyond the Sphere

50 ways to feel good

Try one a day for the next fifty days and start to feel good!

Try two a day for the next fifty days and feel better!

Try as many as you can everyday to see if people will ask you if they can have some of what you’re on! 🙂

  1. Start the day with a smile!
  2. Enjoy breathing!
  3. Enjoy doing what you are doing right at this moment!
  4. Don’t watch the news on TV!
  5. Don’t read the newspaper!
  6. Enjoy your food!
  7. Smile at someone you don’t know… make their day!
  8. Pay someone else’s toll road fee / car park ticket!
  9. Watch The Secret!
  10. Read something funny!
  11. Watch something funny!
  12. Listen to some uplifting music!
  13. Listen to some soothing music!
  14. Take a walk in the rain!
  15. Get to know an animal!
  16. Take time out for yourself!
  17. Say “So what?” (or words to that effect) if you find yourself not feeling good!
  18. Try something you have never done before!
  19. Buy someone a surprise gift just because!
  20. Tear open your next bill with great excitement!
  21. Button up your shirt wrongly just to see other people’s reaction for a laugh!
  22. Know that you are in control of what you are doing right now!
  23. Sit and imagine yourself being, having and doing all that you want – and notice how you feel!
  24. Sit and do nothing – just because you can!
  25. Read a paragraph or two from your favourite book!
  26. Watch a favourite movie!
  27. Cook your favourite meal!
  28. Think that you feel a hundred times better than you did five minutes ago!
  29. Be grateful for your health!
  30. Be grateful for everything you have!
  31. Look and see how many wonderful gifts of nature you have never seen before!
  32. Think of a place you visited in the past and loved!
  33. Think of someone special!
  34. Sing… even if you don’t have a good voice, sing. In fact, sing louder!
  35. Try on a hideous hat in a shop just for fun!
  36. Write a list of ten or more reasons why you like yourself!
  37. Write a list of 50 or more ways to feel good!
  38. Relax in a nice warm bubble-bath!
  39. Create a new blog!
  40. Decide which negative words you use a lot and delete them from your vocabulary!
  41. Practice Emotional Freedom Techniques!
  42. Go for a pamper session at a spa or sauna!
  43. Sit in the middle of a busy shopping centre and just people watch – let the world go by!
  44. Be artistic… bring a new creation into the world!
  45. Have fun fun fun!!!
  46. Act the age you feel – not the age you think you should act!
  47. Say “I’m worth it!” because you know you are!
  48. See at least one good thing in someone you don’t think you like!
  49. Pat yourself on the back because you’ve made it this far!
  50. Look in the mirror and tell yourself “I love you” – and try not to smile while doing it! And then do it again and really mean it!

I’ve enjoyed compiling this list… so much that I may do another one in the near future!

Hello Ego!

I’m beginning to feel that I am ‘finding myself’ again. I am starting to do a little bit more than I did before, and feel better for it. The phrase ‘finding myself’ makes it seem that I have been somehow lost, and although I have been right here physically, I have just been moving forward, really aimlessly, just into the next day, to do the same things again (slightly different, obviously, but generally the same!)

I started this blog so I could really find myself, and in writing about the various events that have happened to me in the past, I have been able to move forward with some of the serious ‘issues’ that I have carried with me over the years. I have also used EFT to help me release some of the agonising feelings that came from certain situations in the past. Everything is working slowly for me, and I don’t want to rush things along, but at the same time I want to be further down this path, just to see how far I got… if that makes sense. (I sometimes feel that I  live in my own paradox, where I can make everything happen, but in taking action I stop the things that I really want from happening).

Take swimming for example. I’ve been swimming for seven days now. I’ve almost got up to swimming a mile a day. My clothes feel better on me. I weigh half a stone lighter than I did last Monday. I look in the mirror and see slight differences in how I look. I feel as though I walk differently. But I have a nagging voice inside my head saying that I have not done enough – or I have not done it quickly enough. This voice is also telling me that I need to look at the excess fat around my middle to see that I haven’t really lost the weight – it has just moved somewhere where it looks better. This voice of mine isn’t very complimentary. It’s either always putting me down, or telling me I’m not good enough, or telling me I am good enough (when I’m not) and then putting me down for not being good enough and it asks what was I thinking of for doing what I did in the first place…

This ego voice either wants me to feel good or bad. To feel better than others or worse. To achieve or fail. When I ask this voice why does it want me to do what it wants; or how can I do what it is telling me to do, it doesn’t answer. I have to make those decisions myself. If I make the right decision, my ego loves it. If I make the wrong decision, my ego loves that too. So, really, in essence, I am being told to do or not to do something, by a voice inside my head that isn’t really bothered whether I actually do it or not… but will constantly berate me anyway.

It’s no wonder I found myself getting a bit lost back there, with all that swirling going on within my head.

My ego’s not a bad thing, I hasten to add. It does tell me to beware when being aware is needed, so it does have a useful function. But the other ninety-odd percent of the time, it is just there jabbering away about how I did. I think my ego has taken control of me tonight, and has started typing this… it’s telling me I can’t possibly write this in a very good way without it’s help.

Well, ego, let me tell you something… I am good at what I do, and I am allowed not to be good at times. I am capable of learning from my mistakes without being punished for the rest of my life. I am grateful for the way you guide me to be alert, and be ready to run… but why do you constantly remind me of what I did whether I chose to run or not? Whether I use the wrong word in a conversation with someone, whether I am a few minutes late, whether I accidentally break something – they have just happened. They are done and in the past.

I’ve got right now to enjoy. Ego, start to enjoy it with me rather than enjoying your own little self at my expense.

Now, that felt good, and my ego enjoyed it too.

Until later!

To all the bullies…

I’ve mentioned a few times about the fact that I was bullied throughout my time at school. I suppose it was because I wouldn’t fight back, or I was an easy target or something. It wasn’t one person in particular that did the ‘bullying’, and I also classed some of the teachers as bullies too. Grouping them all together in this one group was an easy way for me to distinguish the ‘nice people’ from those who weren’t as nice. Some of the people who I classed as bullies, only bullied me on occasions, and others only bullied me when they were with their friends, and were OK with me when they were on their own.

I saw a photograph on Facebook the other day of one of the classes I was in. It was from senior school, and everyone looked so young and small. I remembered the day of the photo, and the school uniforms. The teacher didn’t look as familiar as I thought she would have, but quite a lot of the school feelings came back to me. I must add here not the apprehension of what was going to happen, that I felt several times throughout my school life – and I must thank EFT for that – that was a horrible feeling to deal with!

So, here was the group of people I had grown up with, some of whom I liked spending time with, others who I wanted to know better – but couldn’t get the confidence to get to know them better, others who would punch me for no reason, or drag me down to the floor and spit in my mouth as I was shouting “Aaaargh!”, others who would snigger at me as I walked past them, others who would inspire me with the way they created their masterpieces in art,  others who dressed scruffily, others who were good at the sports, others who I longed for them to notice me, others who weren’t in school all of the time, others who were just really nice kids, going through their learning experiences as I was. Obviously everyone was in that last category; even some of the teachers to a certain extent. But I decided to tar everyone with the ‘bully’ label, and unfortunately, that stayed with me for umpteen years.

I don’t actually remember my last day of school. It’s such a milestone in a person’s life as they take their first steps into the big wide world, and I don’t remember it. I remember a couple of exams – the teachers were striking at the time I was taking my exams, so it was a bit of a chance that we would actually get to do them – that I do remember, but not the actual last day. I don’t know how any of the others got on in their exams, and I can only just remember how I did.

I found out a while ago that one of the people who did bully me, and regularly, had died. I remember feeling nothing at the time. However, he was in that photo, and some of the others from the class were commenting on both the photo, and his passing. He had left a couple of children, and he also left his parents. I think he may have had a brother as well. He has left a huge hole in their lives, and it is this thought that came to me when I was reading the comments on the photo. I’m not even going to try to think of reasons why he decided to pick on me (he also picked on some others too, reading some of the other comments on the photo) but he did it for his own reasons. Although I will never forget what happened to me throughout school, I think that I should really just move on. Forgiveness is a great step for moving forwards, and I hope, that by typing this, it starts my process of forgiving all of those who, at one time or another, were grouped into my bully category.

I’m not going to forget any of it – well, most of it, I sometimes can’t remember what I did yesterday! – And I will still mention it from time to time throughout the blog. It happened to me, so it will get a mention. I don’t feel bad about it anymore, which is why I include it in the blogs that have a lighter feel to them.

Sorry, this is a bit of a deep blog this time. The issue of bullying is a strong one, especially if you are one of those who has been (or is being) bullied. Although I can’t advise what to do if you are in this situation, there is always someone you can turn to for help, and I would suggest this as the first course of action. Don’t keep it to yourself; it is nothing to be ashamed of. And DO NOT let it interfere with the quality of your life. You are entitled to be happy.

So, in closing, if you were one of those people who ‘bullied’ me throughout my school days, I forgive you. However, you have certainly given me something to remember. Thanks for that.

What was I thinking?

Blimey, I’ve done some embarrassing things over the years.

In my second job, I worked for BT for a few years as an operator. I wasn’t too keen on the Directory Enquiries part of the job, although some days were better than others. I did enjoy working on the switchboard answering 100 and 999 calls. The switchboard was the old plug type, and the headsets were great big trumpet things that looked as though they came out of the ark. Just before I left, the switchboard was being replaced by a new-fangled computer system, which I also had the pleasure to use for a few months. No, the job wasn’t embarrassing, although it got a bit iffy when I said the wrong thing. What was embarrassing was what I did to my hair.

There was an engineer who had his hair quite fluffy. It was sticking up, but not spiky, if that makes sense. It did actually look good. And you must remember this was the early to mid eighties, and everyone had big hair. I wanted my hair to look better. Not that I was competing with this engineer, but because I felt inspired by him. We never really spoke, so I suppose he inspired me from afar. I bought myself some hairspray (I think it was called Falcon or something – I’m not sure if it still available today) and styled my hair in a floppy yet spiky way. Now my hair is extremely strong. It is fine and very straight. And I’m sure it does what it wants to do. So I went to work with my hair sticking up all over the place, held into place with this hairspray, until I got outside, in the wind, and had to wait for the bus. By the time I had got to work, only half of the hair was up, the other half was down and goodness only knows how the back was. I also had to wear the vice-like trumpet headset all day, so there was also a ridge going over the top. Embarrassing enough, but I think I wore my hair like that for about a month. I don’t think I ever looked at the engineer again after that.

Moving forward a few years, there was a talent night in one of the local pubs, which took place every Sunday night. It was a bit like ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ but on a much smaller scale and without the judges. It was open to everyone. In the beginning, only a handful of people attended. The acts were funny, and entertaining. And the nights were good. A lot of my family went, and every so often one of them would go on stage and perform a song, or dance or mini show. One of our friends suggested that we (Me and her) perform the following week. I thought it was a good idea. I was drinking wine, quantro and lemonade in a tall glass at the time which will probably explain why I said yes.  Well, we practised the song (“You’re the one that I want” from Grease – I’m not sure what its correct title is) using plastic spoons as microphones, and drinking lemon Hooch and eating strawberries. We were good. Maybe to ourselves, but we were. We were ready to perform. The Sunday night arrived, and we walked into the room. It was full to overflowing. Our party always sat in the corner at the back, so there were seats for us, but I have no idea why it was so busy that night. I’d mentioned to a few people that I was doing the song with my friend, but that could not have been the reason why so many people turned up. Well that was it. Being the shy type, my nerve went. We got up on stage – we’d talked one of my cousins in to providing some backing harmonies for us – and the second problem occurred. The musicians didn’t know the music. So we asked them just to strum their guitars, and we would sing anyway. My friend started singing, but the wrong words. I just stood there, and someone from the room shouted “What does the dummy do?” I just started laughing and had to leave the stage. Luckily the place was dark, so I don’t think my luminous red face was that noticeable as I walked through the crowd to my seat in the corner.

I love my embarrassing moments. Well, not all of them, and there really are some humdingers that I really do want to forget. I’ll use EFT on the memory of these extremely awkward moments to see if that will make them feel any better – I’m sure it will. The way I see things now, there is no point regretting anything I have done – they’re done, and that’s that. The two examples above have only come back to mind since I started writing this blog, so I’m sure there will be more.  I think I can see some intense tapping coming up very soon.

Full circle

I remember one of the characters in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ saying something along the lines of “The hardest thing to do in life is to live in it.” I think that is really just a matter of balance. Going on from what I said in my previous post, about happiness, how we live our lives is entirely up to us. We can choose to be happy, or not. We can choose to make our lives easy, or not. Everything is down to how we see it. Our perception of the things around us makes the basis for how we live our lives. The thing is, it seems to be so much easier to see the negatives, or point out the failures, or think things are not good enough or we’re not worthy of good things happening to us. Yes, it is easy to think that way. Just as it is easy to think the other way, too. A failure isn’t too bad when you think of it as a lesson learned. Sometimes, things aren’t good enough, but that’s no reason to see the negative side of it, just look at it from a different angle and make some improvements. I’m well worthy of great things happening to me, and, do you know what? They do.

I know that now. Years ago, only ‘bad’ happened to me. Actually, that’s a lot over-dramatic. Only ‘bad’ happened at the same time as all of the good things that happened. I chose to focus on some of the events that were happening to me from the negative viewpoint, and could only see the ‘bad’ from there. Some of those ‘bad’ events have become lodged in my memory, but they have been modified over time to seem even worse. I’ve used an amazing system called Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT, and some of those memories no longer have the same effect on me. The memories are still there, by the way. When I first started using, or doing, EFT, I started to feel queasy, so stopped it. I’ve recently found out that this is quite normal though, as the system is ‘cleaning’ the ‘bad’ away. Whenever I use EFT now, I feel fine. No, in fact, I feel great! I strongly recommend you have a look into EFT if you have a chance.

I think the quote above was from the musical ‘Buffy’ episode, ‘Once more with feeling.’

And feelings are an important aspect of how good our lives are. If we’re not feeling good, we’re noticing more things that aren’t good. When we are feeling good, we’ll see more things to make us feel good. Sounds obviously logical, doesn’t it? This is one of the key areas where the Law of Attraction works its magic. The universe is providing it’s part in helping us to see the universe how we feel it should be – you may want to read that again – I’ve had to read it a few times to satisfy myself that it does make sense! So, to add to the confusion just a bit, we are actually telling the universe to show us what we feel we are seeing. We are part of the universe (remember, the one-ness) so in effect we are telling ourselves what to see. Therefore we are telling ourselves what to feel. Everything comes full circle. We can choose whether we have an easy life or not.