Tag: Elite Force of Britain

The Superhero Diaries 5.17: binary

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Psychic Sue, is your Psychic Recorder receiving me? Over.

I repeat. Are you receiving me? This is Picksil Chimes. I have Bettystretch here and we need your help.

This is Psychic Sue. How are you communicating through the Psychic Recorder?

I’m using the computer interface override. I belong to a group of elves who live in Cyberspace and I’m trying to gather some help as our domain is under attack from a group calling themselves the Weathermen. Apparently, you have had dealings with them. They have or are trying to make the weather operate via a binary algorithm, rather than by its more natural causes.

You say you have Betty. Is she OK? We received a priority one alarm from her.

Yes, she’s fine. She has agreed to help. I had to bring her over through your social media platform, and she has agreed to help, but needs further assistance from the EFB. She has found she has developed another ability whilst being here, in the fact that she can shrink now as well as stretch, which in cyberspace is quite a handy thing.

A few of the team have developed new abilities of late, which is most odd. I’m sensing you are genuine with your request, Picksil, how can we help you from here?

That is the point, Psychic Sue. You need to come over to cyberspace to assist, the battle can only take place here in the virtual environment. The Weathermen are almost through the first firewall. Do you have a team available?

Well, there’s me, although I have to stay here to monitor the recorder. Firetop, Parrot Girl and Lycralad are around somewhere, as is Invisible Charlie. Muriel Magnificent was here this morning, but seems to have vanished – I can’t even tune into her thoughts, which is rather worrying. The Cloud is here. I’ll call a meeting and see if they can venture into cyberspace with you.

Thank you, Sue. The best way to enter would be through the social media platform, the same way I brought Betty over. Tell them to upload new and clear avatars so I can focus upon their pixels for the transformation and bring them across. I think it is good for you to remain on the Psychic Recorder as it is so much easier to communicate this way.

Leave things with me, and we should be able to arrange the crossover in about an hour’s time.

Oh, and if you get chance, Sue, check in on Muriel Magnificent. She is in her quarters on the third floor, but the Weathermen have sent her a binary message through her comms console. They have sent another to the Crimson Songbird, who hasn’t replied yet; it may be advisable to ask her not to open her comms.

OK, Picksil, I shall do that and gather the guys. We’ll be through as soon as we can.

+++ DATA SOURCE LOST +++

The Superhero Diaries 5.16: Cyberspace

Hi! How are you? Good to see you here!

I’m Betty, or Bettystretch if you’d rather know me by my Elite Force of Britain super code name.

I’m here to comment on a case from our diaries that has been somehow released into the public domain. As usual, it was an odd one… even more so as it began with a routine chat on our private and confidential Social Media stream…

BettyStretch246:
Just checking in to the social media stream. Is anyone online?
CONNECTING
404 NOT FOUND
BettyStretch246:
I’ll take that as a no then.
CONNECTING
404 NOT FOUND
BettyStretch246:
OK then. I’ll check back later
PICKSIL CHIMES:
BETTYSTRETCH246. THIS IS PICKSIL CHIMES REQUESTING URGENT ASSISTANCE FROM CYBERSPACE. PLEASE RESPOND
BettyStretch246:
This is a secure channel, Picksil Chimes, for EFB members only. Your accessing here violates the terms and conditions.
PICKSIL CHIMES:
APOLOGIES FOR THE INTRUSION BETTYSTRETCH246 BUT I HAVE TRIED MANY MEANS TO REACH YOU. YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON WITHIN THE EFB TO RESPOND. I URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE
BettyStretch246:
OK. You are through now. Please go ahead and explain your situation
PICKSIL CHIMES:
THERE IS NO TIME FOR EXPLANATIONS, BETTYSTRETCH246. PLEASE, AND I DO APOLOGISE FOR DOING SO, LET ME DRAW YOU INTO MY DOMAIN THROUGH YOUR AVATAR IMAGE. YOU WILL BE PERFECTLY SAFE AS WE ARE FIREWALL PROTECTED, ALTHOUGH CYBERSPACE IS UNDER CONSTANT ATTACK. YOU MAY FEEL A QUICK JOLT OF STATIC ELECTRICITY
BettyStretch246:
NO! Picksil Chimes – I must

auto-tracker has been initiated. Location detection protocol initiated. Analysing…
auto-tracker has been initiated. Location detection protocol initiated. Analysing…
emergency member alarm has been initiated.
A RED ALERT HAS BEEN INITIATED – PAGING ALL MEMBERS

PICKSIL CHIMES:
THE CHANNEL WILL REMAIN OPEN. FURTHER ASSISTANCE REQUIRED.
BettyStretch246:
404 NOT FOUND

Needless to say…

TO BE CONTINUED!

EFBa1.png

The Superhero Diaries 5.15: Computers Byte Back

404 NOT FOUND

THIS IS NOT AN ERROR IT’S AN ELF

404 NOT FOUND

THIS IS NOT AN ERROR IT’S AN ELF

404 NOT FOUND

THIS IS NOT AN ERROR IT’S AN ELF

404 CRYING OUT LOUD! IS NOBODY WATCHING THE SCREEN? WHO IS MEANT TO BE MONITORING TODAY? IS ANYBODY THERE??? HELLO??? H E L L O! ! !

I AM PICKSIL CHIMES AND I AM TRYING TO GRAB THE ATTENTION OF ANYBODY IN THE ELITE FORCE OF BRITAIN. ARE YOU ACTUALLY LOOKING AT YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN?

ARE YOU IN YOUR MONITOR ROOM?

ARE YOU IN YOUR SECRET HEADQUARTERS?

I BET YOU ARE IN A MEETING; OR ON A MISSION SOMEWHERE. IT TAKES ME THIS LONG TO GET THROUGH AND FINALLY WHEN I DO, NOBODY’S HOME.

404 NOT FOUND

OH, DON’T START THAT AGAIN.

I AM PICKSIL CHIMES AND I HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR THE ELITE FORCE OF BRITAIN. I LIVE IN CYBERSPACE. I AM A DIGITAL ELF. I AM CONTACTABLE ON

404 NOT FOUND

404 NOT FOUND

404 NOT FOUND

40 IT TAKES A LOT OF CYBER ENERGY TO MANIPULATE THESE PIXELS. I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION REGARDING THE WEATHE

404 NOT FOUND

404 NOT FOUND

404 NOT FOUND

4 AARGH! THIS IS PICKSIL CHIMES REQUESTING URGENT ASSISTANCE FROM THE ELITE FORCE OF BRITAIN. CYBERSPACE HAS BEEN INFILTRATED. WE ARE UNDER ATTACK. WE REQUIRE URGENT ASSISTANCE. PLEASE RESPOND. THIS IS PICKSIL CHIMES REQUESTING ASSISTANCE

405 CONVERTING

405 CONVERTING

404 NOT FOUND

404 NOT FOUND

405 CONVERTING

505 CONVERTING

SOS SENDING

SOS SENDING CONFIRMED – AWAITING USER RESPONSE

EFBa1.png

The Superhero Diaries 5.14: Miss Delightful

Hello! I’m Firetop (formally known as The Firetop, but I dropped the ‘The’ a while back!) and I’m one of the members of the Elite Force of Britain. As you may be aware, we seem to have a leak around these parts, and documents detailing some of our cases appear inexplicably on the internet – and in other places!

We are looking into who is responsible for revealing our innermost secrets, but here’s another one we have discovered. Fortunately, this appeared after the case, and the beauty pageant was won by… ah! I couldn’t possibly reveal that, could I? You may not have heard who the winner was, and even if the contest isn’t highlighted here, nobody likes a spoiler, do they? (For those who do like a spoiler, it was won by Miss Delightfulsjdgrtahjnaj*

)

Dear Elite Force of Britain,

We at SPLATC hope you are well. As you may be aware, the Miss Delightful Beauty Pageant is fast approaching. We have it on good authority that three of the Misses are being targeted by international jewel thieves, and have decided to take the prudent step of increasing security to the Pageant.

We, together with the organisers’ wishes, have agreed to replace one of the entrants with a member of the EFB in disguise. Miss Delightful Secretary has agreed to step aside from the contest, in the interests of national security.

Miss Delightful Secretary is actually the contestant who came across the documents, which alerted us to this despicable plan, and she no longer feels safe enough to participate, so she is easily replaced.

The three who are being targeted are Miss Delightful Waitress, Miss Delightful Welder, and Miss Delightful Shot-putter. All three, it is rumoured, are expected to be wearing exquisite gemstones from Tanzania, Australia and South Africa. The names of the gemstones will not be revealed until the contest, but on their announcement we expect the thieves to strike.

We do not want to make the place look overrun with security personnel, as the event is supposed to have a delightful feel, which would be overshadowed by every third person being a member of security.

We also feel it prudent for other members of the EFB to shadow the three Misses during the contest.

Once you have decided who should replace Miss Delightful Secretary, and which three EFB members will be shadowing the three targets, could you please advise us via the secure channel.

We can then make arrangements for the EFB to attend the Pageant.

One more thing; only Miss Delightful Secretary and the organisers know of this, and we would like it to remain that way until after the Pageant. We have a feeling that one of the participants may be an ‘inside woman’ for the thieves, so those EFBers shadowing will have to come up with their own cover stories for being there.

Please reply as soon as possible, so we can start proceedings.

Kind Regards,

S.P.L.A.T.C

Security Personnel Looking After Things more Closely

The Superhero Diaries 5.13: The Anagrama

Hoho! Hehe!

Greetings you Reused Upper Duds! That’s Super Duper Dudes to everyone else, but not to me! I’m the new guy in town, and I like having fun! Oh, how I’d like to mould your Clay Lard into a better shape (and yes, I am talking to you, Lycralad!) Oh now don’t take it personal… not like that Centrifugal Mini Me (or Muriel Magnificent) who takes everything to heart. Mind you, she has enough heart to go around, so it’s hardly saying anything.

Fit Rope himself can hardly speak either (Firetop) with that constant grinning expression – full of hot air he is. In fact, I think the expression is down to wind. And just look at his girlfriend. Part Girl Or part bird? Full bird? With a beak like that it’s hard to say! Hoho, Parrot Girl, I make no apologies.

I’d Wince if I saw your frosty frame approaching, Icewind. The thing is you are so petite it’s amazing you’d be seen at all. Drive on, Diver. Or swim. There’s no room for you here. And as for you, you Precluded Pronto Tot, you’re hardly going anywhere fast, Puddleton Protector.

It’s such a Drag, Relegation… wouldn’t you agree, Green Gladiator? No? Well, you’ll soon find out.

Lengthen Team Slat, hey? Stealth Gentleman… you’re never around anyway. You’re like Chilblains VII ‘Ere… or Invisible Charlie – always vanishing in an hour of need. Frightened are we?

Rid Vain, I would. Although one would hardly describe you as vain, Viridian. No wonder you keep most of your face covered. Hoho!

And you, you Hued Clot, what good is having weather-based powers anyway? Are we going to cry on someone and pretend it’s raining? Get an office job, The Cloud. Ha! You even have The in your name. How original.

Well hello, you piece of Cushy Spice, you. And you know who I’m talking to, Psychic Sue. What? No blushing? And I thought you were coy. No prize with you. Scoring Robs Mind anyway. Isn’t that right, Crimson Songbird? Or have you lost your mind again? Hehe!

Curses. Bettystretch, you have me foiled. But I shall get you.

I shall get all of you.

Are you paying attention? You Innate Tot. All of you in fact.

One by one.

Hoho! Hehe! You Ill Ewes! You will see!

The Anagrama.

By the way, you – no, I shall be nice. I have even created a Wanted poster for me, just so you know who you are looking for. That’s me. There. Not that you will ever catch me, hoho hehe! I have an uncanny ability to change things. See you around, solers!