Boo! Really, REALLY awful. No Really!


I apologise for what you are about to read.

I’ve scoured the internet for the worst Halloween jokes of all time, and couldn’t find any. I did come across the corkers above, but whether ‘corker’ indicates good or bad is anyone’s guess.

I can hear groans from all across the Blogosphere. And, yes, I heard a boo… and another. And… a cackle. Lots of cackles, and Moany Lisa is nowhere in sight! Well, her image is here, but she isn’t… cough cough…

So.

Anyway.

How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?
By her suntan.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.

When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.

What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?
A monster with an all over perm.

Why are banshees good tennis players?
They make a good old racket.

No! no! Noooooo!!!!! No more!

Enough!!!!!!

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow. Hopefully…

23 responses to “Boo! Really, REALLY awful. No Really!”

  1. prenin avatar

    Ooh these are Baaaad!!! PMSL!!! 🙂

    God Bless my friend! 🙂

    Prenin.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Terrible aren’t they, Prenin?
      These are my Halloween Crackers!

      Like

  2. Diane Henders avatar

    Good fun, Tom! ‘Tis the perfect season for some corny jokes.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Diane, there’s corny and then there’s this selection… and there’s more, but I can’t bring myself to tell them!!!

      Like

  3. nrhatch avatar

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there?

    Boo
    Boo Who?

    Don’t cry . . . it’s only a joke!

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Hehehe.
      That’s better than all of mine put together, Nancy.

      Like

      1. nrhatch avatar

        Groaner jokes are the best . . . I like your Witching School the best!

        Like

        1. Tom Merriman avatar

          At least these were all groaners, Nancy. The plumpkin one made me chuckle slightly…

          Like

  4. lameadventures avatar

    I think you have done an excellent job researching the worst Halloween jokes of all time, Tom. I was groaning so much as I read them, my next door neighbor might think that I’ve been stabbed.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      I knew I could hear groaning, LA!

      Like

  5. shreejacob avatar

    Bahahahaha! These were awesome!!!! 😉

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Yay! They are, Shree!
      Wait… you’re not being serious, are you? 😉

      Like

      1. shreejacob avatar

        Of course I am!! O.O

        Like

  6. Vanessa-Jane Chapman avatar

    I quite like the ‘When do ghosts usually appear?’ one, that made me very slightly break the stony expression I wore while reading the rest of them 😉

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Hi Vanessa!
      You should always read Halloween jokes with a stony expression!

      Like

  7. Visionkeeper avatar

    Well I see you are on a roll TL…Halloween has got a death grip on you 🙂 Thanks for the sick humor. Your magical day will be here soon. Get those cell phones charged and ready to roll. Look out basement here we come!!!! Happy week to you…VK

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      It will indeed, VK.
      I don’t know what possessed me to do a joke post yesterday… Eek! Possessed…
      Happy week to you also!

      Like

  8. Gray Dawster avatar
    Gray Dawster

    Now you know what it’s like for me picking out pictures and Wednesday Hump Day jokes to add, they are not as easy to find as one would imagine, being that the Internet is so vast, ahhh well your efforts weren’t a total waste of time as some of those jokes are hilarious, yes I am joking 🙂 lmao No seriously, they were, erm… Pretty damned awful actually but you get ten out of ten for trying 🙂

    Andro

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Terrible, actually, Andro. That’s why I couldn’t continue with the post and had to end it where it did.
      You can never find what you want on the internet, can you?

      Like

  9. The Laughing Housewife avatar

    Okay, I have to steal these for Halloween! In the ‘so bad they’re brilliant’ category.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Steal away, Tilly! (That’s what I did) ahem.
      They are bad, aren’t they!!!

      Like

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