Breaking news: ▲○±Ð⌂ ƒØ § ∟µ ®, the designer ‘ultimate eating experience’ on a moon near you has now ceased to exist.
This terrible news has just come through on the teleprinter. The franchise on Phobos was the first to close. It temporarily became an Astroid Chicken Hut when management changed hands in August this year, less than six months after the newest restaurant opened on 2002VE68, Venus’ temporary ‘moon’, in March.
All dates are Earth dates in this article, to avoid any inter-planetary confusion.
Sending a message from his (her?) ZX Spectrum on 2002VE68, company spokesman Malmath Splopp said he (she?) was devastated by what was happening to the company.
“When news reached us that Phobos had become an Astroid Chicken Hut, we were all shocked. Firstly, because we never served chicken, and secondly because we didn’t expect it to ever close.
“We’d heard of something taking place on Mars, some invasion of some kind where a strange device landed on the surface… our CCTV long distance infrared with microwave scanners picked up the landing, and watched as the invaders appeared to be looking for something.
“We at ▲○±Ð⌂ ƒØ § ∟µ ®, sorry, the company, thought that such an invasion would be good for advertising, as we always said our restaurants with hairdressing facilities utilised the ‘danger’ aspect of our locations.
“Higher management disagreed, and sold the Phobos site for an undisclosed amount.
“Astroid Chicken Hut went bust in September, before they’d started an advertising campaign for their totally revamped and, innovative in some respects, fast food delivery service. They had a fleet of C5 electric tricycles ready to take their orders to nearby delivery ships for delivery to other local planets. They never received a single order.”
Malmath Splopp also wrote:
“Higher management then decided that they wanted to move away from the ‘danger’ aspect completely. With 2002VE68 expected to make a fly-by to the planet Earth sometime soon, presumably on it’s way out of the Solar System, higher management decided a change was due. They wanted to take the company to brand new heights, so they moved out of our Solar System. They moved out of the galaxy in fact, and have now set up their bases of operations in the Triangulum Galaxy… teasing us, cruelly, because we can only just see the galaxy with the naked eye… out of reach, but not out of sight.
“2002VE68 served its last burger, with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, ketchup and the new zingy relish last Tuesday.”
This report had been sitting on the teleprinter for quite some time before it was noticed, as the teleprinter isn’t really used anymore. We were suprised it still worked, being honest, but it did.
From what Mr (Mrs/Miss/Ms) Splopp wrote, the Mars restaurant closed in August, meaning that the Venus one went presumably some time between then and the end of October.
▲○±Ð⌂ ƒØ § ∟µ ® was renowned for its long waiting times, extortionate prices and luxury pampering salons for those who were prepared to wait and pay.
We’ll have to wait and see if any news comes through on the teleprinter regarding this new company. Intergalaxy communication nowadays is intermittent at best, but if news filters through it will be announced here first.
The Mansionic Perspective 
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