Previously, most of the Inners managed to escape their Greek Gods in an Egyptian Reality nightmare by making their way inside a great pyramid, which, it transpired, was actually a spaceship that took them to the edge of the Canis Major Dwarf Galaxy. The craft, piloted by an up-to-then unknown (by most) Inner named Tummy (he’s an Egyptian Mummy!) burst into life shortly after the Inners (Tom (the Inner Tom), Thomasina (the Inner Woman), Tombie (the Inner Zombie), Tommy (the Inner Werewolf) and Fingers (the Inner Typist)) stepped foot (or hands, in Fingers’ case) inside the pyramid, where they became abruptly locked inside. Other Inners (Lady Tomette, the Inner Leader of the Opposition, the Inner Artist, the Inner Child and the Inner Ghost) remained behind, stranded in the Greek/Egyptian mashup.
And now, on with the conclusion.
Tummy pressed a button inside the stone box he’d emerged from shortly after the other Inners’ arrival, and they all felt a sudden shudder, followed swiftly by a quick drop, which caused Tombie’s stomach to lurch – luckily, he had the foresight to grab it before it lurched just a little too far. “Grab hold to something solid…” Tummy commanded, “We’re landing on the planet CMa427XYAi, and the pyramid isn’t really built for landing.”
“I don’t think it was really built for interstellar space flight either.” Thomasina muttered, grabbing hold to the wooden crate that used to be the chariot that got them into the pyramid in the first place. As soon as she felt it slide, she dashed over to the stone box to join the other Inners who had gathered around it.
They felt the weight of the thud as they landed severely, but weren’t expecting the scraping, clanking, groaning, rumbling and screeching sounds they could hear as they felt themselves sliding and bumping along the ground, which seemed to go on forever. With a jolt (which caused Tom and Tombie to lose their grip on the box and fall to the ground) they stopped moving.
“Perfect landing!” Tummy said, and pointed to the window, to the side of the mountain outside they’d careered into. Luckily for the Inners, none of them had thought to look at the window, otherwise they’d have seen the mountain approaching.
“We’ve crashed into a mountain.” Tom said in exasperation.
“That’s what it looks like,” Tummy replied, “but we’ve found ourselves a perfect place to park.” He pressed another button and the slab over the entrance, which had blocked their escape earlier, lifted up, letting in a sweet smelling wind from outside.
“Can we breathe here?” Thomasina asked, somewhat perturbed.
“Do you think I’d open the door if we couldn’t?” Tummy asked, with the same exasperated tone as Tom a few seconds earlier. Thomasina rolled her eyes and muttered something inaudible.
Tommy ran out on all fours, desperate to get some fresh air. Tombie ambled after him, with Fingers on each of his shoulders (Fingers the Typist that is, not Tombie’s fingers, they were still attached to his hands, even after all the gripping he did in the ‘perfect landing’).
“Why are we here?” Tom asked, realising he didn’t really know why they’d ended up in the Greek/Egyptian mashup earlier either for that matter.
“Just around the corner,” Tummy explained, “is a portal. It’s the Mummy’s Portal of CMa427XYAi, a very valuable asset in this segment of the Canis Major Dwarf Galaxy.”
“The Mummy’s Portal of CMa427XYAi?” Thomasina asked, “is that the best name they could come up with?”
“What do you mean?” Tummy asked, becoming slightly infuriated by Thomasina’s questioning, “It’s the perfect name. It says exactly what it is. It’s the Mummy’s Portal and it’s on CMa427XYAi.”
“Maybe they should’ve given the planet a better name then.” Thomasina grumbled as she followed Tummy and Tom out of the pyramid.
“What? Like George?” Tummy sniped back.
“Well the planet George sounds a lot better than the planet CMa427XYAi!” Thomasina wanted the last word, and Tummy decided to let her have it.
“What’s that smell?” Tom asked, “That really sweet smell… it’s almost like doughnuts. It’s making me feel hungry.”
“Mummies.” Tummy answered, causing Tom’s stomach to churn this time.
Tommy came running back at a pace on all fours, howling. He was shortly followed by Tombie, who was holding his legs on as he was being dragged across the ground by Fingers. A strange murmuring could be heard behind them.
As one, Tummy, Thomasina and Tom noticed what was making the murmur… mummies. Zombie mummies in fact. A horde of them, in fact, in fact.
“Oh no.” Tummy said, “Back to the Pyramid now! They’re Roman Centurion Zombie Mummies, and they won’t stop until they make all of existence like them.”
“But they can’t be that bad.” Thomasina said. “Can’t you talk to them, Tummy. Explain why we’re here?”
“Yes, you know… mummy to mummy.”
“THEY’RE ROMAN CENTURION ZOMBIE MUMMIES!” Tummy yelled, grabbing Thomasina by her shoulder. He dragged her back to the pyramid’s entrance. “They don’t talk… they just wrap.”
“Wrap? Don’t you mean warp?” Thomasina started to feel confused.
“Warp? No, I don’t mean warp. If I meant warp, I’d have said warp. They wrap. They’re Zombie Mummies. They wrap. They create other Zombie Mummies, that’s all they do.”
“Oh.” Thomasina said.
“So what now?” Tom asked, still not entirely sure what was going on.
“We’ll have to go to the other side of the mountain now.” Tummy said. “That’s where the Giant Multi-faceted Nebula Vortex has an arm. Hopefully, the Roman Centurion Zombie Mummies will be happy with the Mummy’s Portal of CMa427XYAi, and have decided not to get that as well.”
“The Giant Multi-faceted Nebula Vortex started all of this.” Tom said, “so Roman mummies or not, it’s a good thing to end it as well. That should lead straight to the Mansion’s Bathroom.”
“Indeed it should. I’d forgotten about the wrap warp it has, we should’ve gone there first.” Tummy said, pressing another button which caused the pyramid ship to shudder as it lifted off the ground. “We can pick the other Inners up on the way through, and get back to the Mansion as if nothing has ever happened. I do like wrap warps.”
“Warp wraps.” Thomasina commented. “That sounds better.”
“Hold on to something solid again,” Tummy ignored Thomasina’s comment for a reason. “It looks like we’ll reach the Giant Multi-faceted Nebula Vortex without obstacle, but it may get very confusing on the way through. It wraps reality around itself.”
“Surely, now you mean warp?” Thomasina still wanted the last word.
As if it was a giant octopus tentacle, the arm of the vortex grabbed the pyramid, and pulled it through the swirling eye of the vortex, where it vanished into a blinding white light.
Fingers tapped on the window urgently, although as reality wrapped and warped itself inside the pyramid, nobody could tell where the tapping was coming from. Hanging onto the outside of the pyramid was a Roman Centurion Zombie Mummy, whose face contorted into a maniacal smile, just before the scene faded from view.