Oh, I don’t know! It’s absolutely shocking that one can’t take a moment out of one’s evening, and slip away to the privacy of one’s bathroom for a moment’s contemplation.
There I was, contemplating, when my thoughts were dashed by an eerie screeching noise… actually, it was more like a continual crackle, like many thousand bolts of lightning getting louder and louder which sounded as though they were getting closer and closer.
Obviously, in the bathroom, I had no idea what was causing the noise. There are no windows, and just the one door, so one way in, one way out.
The lavvy seat started to shake, rattle and, I have to say, roll, which caused me to leap across the room and into the bath. It’s a good job that I wasn’t using the loo at the time, as there’s no telling what it would have made me do!
I was abluting, and away with my thoughts as the room started to spin. The crackling became deafening, which, in a way, was handy as it drowned out the sound of the catastrophic crashing that came from above me.
The bathroom light blinked off and on a couple of times, before going off completely, but luckily I’d managed to switch off the hot tap and dry my hands before it did so.
I found the light-switch string and tried to pull on the light again, and it didn’t respond. My logical mind told me that the light was now actually ‘off’, so it would be better to leave it that way… so I did. I was in complete darkness. Even the batteries in the electronic air freshener weren’t working, so there wasn’t a speck of light from the tiny bulb that’s in that machine – which reminds me, I must get a refill for that.
It was then that I could feel particles of dust cascading down all over me, and a burning, sulphurous smell as well. Thinking back, it was a bit of a waste of time having a wash, but you can’t go around life thinking like that, can you? It was then that I’d realised something had happened.
The odd smells remained, but the rumbling and crackling had stopped. I turned the handle on the door and pulled it to open it. It wouldn’t move, but then I remembered that I had to push this door to open it from inside the room. Being in complete darkness causes you to forget the simplest of things!
I pushed the door – and it still wouldn’t open. I was trapped in the bathroom. I remembered chuckling as I thought that that hadn’t happened to me for a while… and then I needed to find a way out of my predicament.
I pressed with all of my body against the door, and slowly it started to budge. After three or four hundred attempts (phew!) the door flung open, and I shot out of the bathroom quicker than a human cannonball out of a cannon. I careered across the landing, ending in a heap by the opposite wall.
The lights were still on out on the landing for some reason, but flickering, and when I looked back at the bathroom I could see that the walls looked slightly squat. It’s the best way I can explain it. They were intact, but looked slightly different. However, everything looks different in funny light, so it could have been my eyes.
I tried to close the bathroom door again, and it wouldn’t fit – which proves that I wasn’t imagining it. I’ll have to plane the door down over the weekend – or file it or something – so that it will close again, but that’s a task for another day.
I nipped outside the Mansion to see if anything was out of the ordinary out there, and apart from a few scattered smouldering boulders here and there, and a couple of steaming privets, everything looked fine.
A largish, heavy looking boulder was precariously perched on the roof, which would have been on the same side as where the bathroom is, which explained (to me) why the walls appeared squat – they were holding up this huge great rock which could only have come from outer space. Goodness knows how I’ll get that down from there, but I’ll manage somehow. I’ll see to that after filing the door down to size, however.
I’m now in my emergency basement writing this post just in case another meteorite decides to land on the Mansion. I was part way through creating a new header for my blog, but the power surge seems to have had an effect on the graphics there – that’s another job for the weekend, or next week sometime.
It’s nice and quiet down here. A nice place to think.
But, I don’t think I’ll do any more contemplating just yet today…
The Mansionic Perspective 
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