And now it’s time for a new, semi-regular feature: a monthly spamfest. These are either comments that have been festering in my spam thingy this month, or excerpts of, that I’ve bothered to make a note of, prior to taking great pleasure in hitting the huge red delete button! I always check every message in my spam thingy, as sometimes genuine messages end up in there.

Woozyploppyrop (!) wanted to use my Guestbook as a place to offer any kind of medicine at fantastic bargain prices. He / she / it / they didn’t actually state what the medicines they were offering were actually for, but – and this also goes to anyone else as well who feels the need to offer me medicines through my blog – when I need them, I’ll go to Wizzypipflip’s the Chemist. Comment deleted!

Theortstees tried to leave a comment on my Guestbook about depression and weight loss, but then tried to sell me valium. Theortstees, please have another read of my reply to Woozyploppyrop above.

Freebies for moms and kids wrote “Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue with your website in web explorer, might check this? IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a huge component of people will miss your wonderful writing due to this problem.” in reply to my Cheshire Long Shots post. Thank you for pointing that out to me, Freebies for moms and kids, I might check that.

Somebody else with a medical blog, but I deleted the comment before I realised that I hadn’t made a note of their name, added this to my Cheshire Long Shots post: “Hi there Dear, are you genuinely visiting this web site regularly, if so then you will without doubt obtain good experience.” I feel I have to reply that yes, I am visiting this web site regularly, and always have a good experience. I’ll thank you for reminding me, though, before I delete yours and the previous person’s comment.

National Car Hire (possibly not THE National Car Hire) have also left a comment on my Cheshire Long Shots post. They said, “I used to be suggested this website via my cousin. I’m not certain whether this submit is written by him as nobody else recognise such distinctive approximately my problem. You are incredible! Thanks!” Er, thanks, National Car Hire, I’ll gently delete your comment.

Lawn Fertiliser (!) said, in response to Cheshire Long Shots: “May I simply say what a relief to uncover somebody that truly understands what they’re discussing on the net. You certainly understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people have to read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised that you are not more popular since you certainly possess the gift.” Sorry, Lawn, but I was surprised a lot earlier than you by the fact that I’m not more popular, but there you go. Glad you liked my side of Google’s photos.

I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays. Bed Bug Spray (!) in response to Cheshire Long Shots.

There’s something in my Cheshire Long Shots post that is drawing spammers out of the woodwork. Here’s another comment that looks oddly familiar…:

Seo Boston said “I am really inspired with your writing abilities as neatly as with the structure on your weblog. Is this a paid topic or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice high quality writing, it’s uncommon to peer a nice blog like this one today.” Thank you for peering, Seo. And copying, apparently.

Now, I don’t mind criticism if it helps me to improve my writing, if it’s constructive, and is of value to my post at hand. A reader by the name of Computer Repairs gave this critical review in my post ‘The one that got away’: “of course like your web site but you need to check the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very troublesome to inform the reality nevertheless I will
certainly come back again.” Like I said, I don’t mind criticism if it helps me to improve my writing, if it’s constructive, and is of value to my post at hand…

I’ve had a lot of comments from people eager to help me to dominate SEO this month, so many in fact they’re becoming boring now. I’ll just say that, yes, I am keen for others to read and hopefully enjoy some, if not all, of my writings, but (and this is the important bit) I certainly don’t want to dominate the world with it. I have as much interest in search engine optimisation as I have in out of date laxatives. One of them could possibly still be useful, but I’m happy to plod along by myself thank you very much. When I get to the point where SEO is important, I’ll have a team of people dealing with that for me.

I’m a little disheartened by the lack of funny spam comments this month. Come on spammers – you can be a funny lot, but these unfunny comments have let you down – let’s see what hilarious comments you can leave for the next compilation, next month.