Once. Nay twice. Nay THRICE! Egads!!!

I treated myself to some new socks over the weekend – I know how to live, don’t I? – all of my other pairs have now begun to lose their colour after being washed to beyond an inch of their lives. In fact a thread from one of my old pairs of socks had managed to knot itself around another three pairs whilst in the washing machine, and it took me an absolute age to untangle them. The curious thing was that whilst the socks were either a dull grey or an off brown colour, the offending thread was as black as night and still attached to one of the socks!

Enough was enough, I thought, as I marched off to the shop, armed with five pounds. Last of the great spenders me.

I bought six pairs of jet black socks, size 6 to 8.5 for those who need trivia details, and then put them to one side, ready to wear them today with my work attire. The dull brown socks were starting to look a little obvious with the black trousers.

So, I put on one of my nice new pairs of socks this morning, one on each foot as per the manufacturer’s recommendations, followed by my shoes, and set off into the day. A short while later, I felt a strange tugging inside my left shoe as I walked around. The tugging became stronger – sharper. I had to check things out… maybe I hadn’t pulled the sock on properly when I got dressed, and it had somehow curled up inside my shoe and was starting to shut off the circulation to my foot.

What I found took me back. Aghast, I saw my big toe poking through possibly the largest hole ever to be found in a new pair of socks. Well, a big toe sized hole is quite big in a sock. Especially with a big toe like mine, not that I’m bragging or anything. I have awful toes. Good balance, mind.

I pulled my toe back through the hole of the sock, and then pulled the sock around under my foot to avoid any further discomfort. and then carried on with my day. I was debating whether to take my socks back to the shop, but then thought they wouldn’t take them back as they had been worn and had a hole in them. They weren’t going to believe that the hole had just occurred as I wore them for the first time. And for £2.50 for three pairs it was hardly worth the effort anyway.

My brother said that my toenails must have been too long to slice through the material, which is unlikely, as I’m always careful to curl my toenails under my feet when I get ready. No, I jest. I always bite them before they get too long.

It’s terrible how things aren’t made to last any more, wouldn’t you agree?

Posted by Tom Merriman

A future writer living in the present day

18 Comments

  1. Yes Tom you just can not get garments like you used to.. Poor Quality fabric.. Were they wool or cotton? If they were Wool, Well blame the sheep.. Obviously they didn’t take care of their coats.. If they were cotton.. Well now those plants were not fed enough good Quality Feed..
    Now of course it could also be the Seemstress who got to sew the toe of your socks together in which case blame Profit Margins as she obviously was on Piece Work and forgot you needed the Piece to cover your toe xxx 🙂

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    1. I think it’s a case of all three, Sue! A cotton-wool blend sock, with dodgy stitching. I use the term ‘stitching’ loosely, as there clearly wasn’t any where the hole was…

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      1. Haha.. thought not.. 🙂

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  2. Here’s the thing TL…I know taking them back is a total hassle, but if we don’t hold these places accountable for their cheap products and demand our money back, they will continue to throw cheap products at you over and over again….Feed back is what they need and a bit of a tongue lashing wouldn’t hurt…Sorry your new duds didn’t work out for you. Time for a new clothing store….Think of it as a new adventure….Keep that toe warm…..VK 🙂

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    1. I’m putting it down to a faulty sock, VK. Today’s pair (from the same pack!) have been completely whole and very comfortable. My toe didn’t complain today! 😀

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  3. Quality products at an affordable price seem to be more and more a thing of yesteryear, Tom. I feel your sock pain. If you have your receipt and the second pair craps out as rapidly as the first, you might have a case if you tried to return them. Or, if you don’t think it’s worth the hassle, just try to buy better socks elsewhere. It’s also a drag when you have good socks and you lose one in the wash. I am certain that all lost socks enter the ether. They join all the socks we’ve lost through the entirety of our lives up on Lost Sock Mountain.

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    1. I’ve donated umpteen pairs of lost socks to that mountain, LA. It’s one of life’s great mysteries, that!

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  4. Even if they were cheap, you’d still expect to get at least a week’s wear out of them before they became holey. I would definitely take them back. Marks & Spencers socks are much better quality and value for money. Just make sure to bite all your toenails really short before you take the socks back, as the shopkeeper is sure to want to inspect them for sharpness. 🙂

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    1. lol!!! I can picture TL sitting in the chair with his foot on the stool as the shoe salesman measures his toenail length. They will go to great lengths to not be held accountable.

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    2. The second pair have been perfect, Sylvia, comfortable and fit like a glove. Well, a sock. If I do need to return them, I shall take note of your advice… I don’t want to be caught out.

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  5. LOL …. This is the most information I’ve read about socks. I laughed through your story and the comments are hilarious; especially, Sylvia’s suggestion. 😀😂😍
    May I recommend my pedicurist @ the salon I go to. Hannah – from Vietnam – is a dream. There’s a leg massage that goes along with the pedicure. You may give up wearing socks due to your impressive looking feet. 😬
    Of course, you can move to Florida where socks aren’t worn. Just a thought …
    Isadora 😎

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    1. With my feet, Isadora, the pedicurist is likely to undertake a new career path! I’m not saying they’re off-putting or anything, but they don’t look any different in a nice pair of socks. If I moved to Florida, a sock-wearing law would be introduced…

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      1. LOLOL … the sock industry would love your enthusiasm for bringing socks back. 😎

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        1. They’ve never left here – which is a blessing!

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  6. The sock imps got you! And here I thought they were just a Canadian thing. 🙂

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    1. Indeed they did, Diane… and no, they’re an international scourge.

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