On-Line Lie Detectors–A Disclaimer


I’ve been dragged back into the twenty-first century for this latest post, and I was so enjoying meandering along those corridors of the past. Never mind, I’ll be revisiting the past in the near future anyway, so it’s not that much of a problem. Talking about time can get slightly tangled, which kind of fits in with this post.

Kind of.

I’ve read on the news that they are thinking of bringing in an on-line lie detector for social media, to test the authenticity of the information that is being broadcast to the world. They say it’s needed, so the speculation, controversy, misinformation and disinformation can be categorised accordingly.

So, if I twerped that I was in a bad mood and really wasn’t, sirens would screech and red bulbs would flash all across the planet – to those who’d read that I was in a bad mood, that is. Well, I hope that’s it. It’d be very noisy and bright if the sirens and lights went off for everyone on-line when I said what I said.

I’m not really sure which category ‘I’m in a bad mood’ would fall into, come to think of it. Disinformation – it fits there, but it also fits in with misinformation (especially as I wasn’t in a bad mood… why I said that in the first place I have no idea). It may also fall into controversy, as I’m never (hardly ever!) in a bad mood.

It needs to be a really clever lie detector, that’s all I’m saying.

So.

In the near future, when this all singing all dancing on-line lie detector is brought on-line, a few helpful hints and tips for the settings you may want to use would come in handy. Here’s a list I prepared earlier (in the past!):

  • Set the lie detector to view the site you are viewing, and not the whole internet, to save your sanity.
  • Turn your volume down to it’s lowest level, or set the lie-detector’s alert function to lights only. That way, you’d still be able to hear your thoughts as you read.
  • Use a book or cloth or other item to cover the light (if external), or run the on-line light in a separate browser in the background, so as not to be distracted.
  • If reading my blog in particular, bear in mind that some of the posts may not be entirely true. And don’t think that just because the lie detector is going off, what you are reading isn’t the truth. Sometimes, when living in a fantasy world, the truth can be distorted somewhat. (Well, the truth can be distorted living in the real world as well, come to think of it, otherwise we wouldn’t need lie detectors in the first place!)
  • Read what you read with a pinch of salt, and if it doesn’t sound real, it probably isn’t. Unless I’m writing about one of my trips to Venus.
  • If, when you are typing a post on a blog, or twerping something on social media, and you have to be hooked up to the lie-detector software with those finger attachments, wear woollen gloves beforehand. Mittens may work, but typing can become a little difficult, and you may end up writing something you didn’t intend to, and set lights and sirens off everywhere in the known Universe.

The alternative is not to use social media. Wait – I don’t, so that’s easy for me. Or do not blog. Wait – noooo. I’m not stopping blogging. Sorry world, if I set those lie detectors off with my posts, remember, it’s them. It’s not me.

You can believe what you want to or don’t want to when you come here – all I ask is that you have fun. And that is the truth.

See.

No sirens.

15 responses to “On-Line Lie Detectors–A Disclaimer”

  1. prenin avatar

    It would be interesting to make it law that all politicians be permanently wired to portable lie detectors – noisy, but useful!!! 🙂

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Not only interesting, Prenin, it would be hilarious! Especially if they used the ones with the little blast of a static shock as well. I can see it now!

      Like

  2. lameadventures avatar

    If my site is ever subject to this level of attention, Tom, I will then know what it feels like to be crowned Miss Universe.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Never say never, LA.

      Like

  3. penpusherpen avatar

    took me ages to do this comment, Sir Aquatom,My name is LadyP (sirens!!) ok, my name is Pen, (listening, waiting) and I tweet, (only to advertise my blog updates and some others, Ooo and ‘follow’ famous people, stalking like, BUT trouble is, their tweets are always ….boring? ) anywho, beside the point, Online lie detecters eh? (got my salt ready) I bet the whole hog’ll explode. I like a bit of fantasty, erm..writing wise, (I know, what else could I mean?) and it’s acceptable, up to a point. (What’s my point? never you mind,) BUT I do have my fingerless gloves still, soo I can type normally. (OMG switch that noise off and those Blinkin’ lights) OK, ok I can type after a fashion, (probably Punk rock) BUT I am having fun. and that’s it as far as I’m concerned, (unless there’s a serious point of course, goes without saying really, but then why say it? ) Pen wanders off, arguing with herself. best leave her to it. (towit) right ho. bye for now. xPenx

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Fun is what it’s all about, Lady P! Ignore them buzzes and lights!

      Like

  4. Diane Henders avatar

    LOL! What is true is not always the “truth”…

    I think an online lie-detector would make the internet explode.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      It certainly wouldn’t cope very well, Diane! Everyone sees truth differently anyway!

      Like

  5. Jo Bryant avatar

    what a load of bunkum…who cares about truth really…only gets in way of a good tale I say

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Jo, it sooo does! 😀

      Like

  6. The Writing Waters Blog avatar

    I like the grain of salt.

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Hello, Rebecca (and Irma!), thanks for calling by!
      Grains of salt can be very useful at times, I find! 🙂

      Like

  7. Sue Dreamwalker avatar

    What I want to know Tom is how those detectors work? Which bell rings True or False.. and how do we know the detectors are working correctly.. or could it be I have my spelling wrong and it should read Dictators? 😉 so we only read what we should?? 😉
    Another great post Tom..
    Sue

    Like

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      It sounds as though it may be the latter, Sue, unfortunately. And one person’s version of the truth may be different from another’s, perspective-wise, so I can’t really see them working anyway, if they are brought in. Only time will tell though, I suppose!
      And thanks once again, Sue – hope you’ve had a good weekend!

      Like

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