Top Ten Tips for a wannabe superhero: 2: Gadgets


You can never go wrong when you’re a superhero and you have a super cool gadget. A gizmo or thingumabob can come in very handy, usually if you find yourself in the trickiest of situations, but sometimes just for fun. You need to have fun every now and then, as β€˜just’ being a superhero isn’t as glamorous as things first seem.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any whatchamacallits knocking around the Mansion, or in the vast catacombs below the cellar (not that I have explored the catacombs in their entirety yet, they are that vast) . I have the Aquatomobile, which is, simply, amazing. It’s a car, boat, plane, rocket-ship, and once, I think, if my memory serves me right, it became a helicopter. I only use it as the car now as the cost of fuel is slightly higher than it really should be, and the sight of a flying car can be off-putting to certain people.

As I am thingummy free, I have to use my mind more than other superheroes who use their gadgets. Using my mind more causes me to think more, and I think this may be why I have a tendency to look more deeply into things than I really need to. Not that looking too deeply into things is really a bad thing to do, but when you are in the middle of one thing and you find your mind wandering off at the most random of tangents, when you really should be concentrating on the task at hand, you can find yourself in the most… oh; right. Erm… situations like this one. Embarrassed smile 

Anyway, on to the list…

1. Keep it simple.
Make sure that you are using an extremely simple gadget. A ring; a phone; a mirror; something where members of the public will see you using it with style and say β€œWow"! Look at how they use their [insert gadget here]!”

2. Think image and personality.
Depending on the type of superhero you are, or want to be, you must have a gadget that suits your personality, image, uniform, name and is easy to carry around. I knew a superhero once who used a kite as a gadget, and although it was very handy to clonk an escaping super villain on their head to stop them, it was very cumbersome, and slowed him down when he needed to get out of the way of a runaway steamroller, which tended to happen more often to him than you would have expected it to. He went by the name of Mister Wind, which, for some reason, gave the newspapers a few howling headlines, and although the kite was a good idea in theory, it was a different story in practice.

3. Match the power.
Lucas Light was another superhero who used a useless doodad. He could control light, so thought it would be nifty to use… a torch. It’s all about the right image. Get it right and it’s great. Get it wrong, and it’s not as great. OK, Lucas could make the beam of light from the torch glow in different colours, some of which have not yet even been seen by the vast majority of the inhabitants on Earth, but when he used his powers he lit up an area the size of a football pitch, so the torch was neither use nor ornament when it came down to it – even with the different colours.

4. Remember health and safety.
The ultra-sexy Ravish used her lipstick as a gizmo. She had two, one for normal use, and the other to help her abilities to work more soundly. She could numb with a single kiss, but one day she put too much lipstick on herself and couldn’t speak for two months. She also couldn’t drink hot drinks, or eat solid food. She eventually changed her name to the Slinky Siren, but as the numbness never left her lips, she pronounced her name as the Thlinky Thiren. I believe she gave up super heroics when she got married.

5. Avoid many parts.
Try to avoid using gadgets with chains, sharp parts or bits that detach. They are fine if you need to make a point with, say, a super villain who you need to flick something just beside their ear to make the point, but not very good if your aim’s off slightly and you actually catch said ear. The point you were trying to make becomes invalid, and you could end up in more trouble than is really necessary.

6. Do not overuse your gadget.
Use your gadgets sparingly. Too much use becomes routine, to the point that the person (or alien invader) you are using the gadget on knows what you are going to do, and how – and when – you are going to do it. They can then be used against you. It’s never good when gadgets strike back. Look at Slinky.

7. Use with care.
Be careful when using your gubbins when you are teamed with another superhero for one reason or another. You don’t want to get in the way of the other’s equipment, as this is a definite no no in the streamline world of superherodom.  An even worse no no is if your equipment became entangled, and your super villain made a quick getaway. They will not stop to help you, in any circumstance. They are chancers, them super villains.

8. Keep spares handy.
Always have replacement gadgets, or know someone who can build or fix gadgets as soon as you need them. Some superheroes have butlers for this job.

9. Use the gadget when you need to use it.
If you find that your gadget is not doing the job you intend it to do, discard it. But discard it carefully. Your gadgets can lead super villains to your secret identity, and even other innermost secrets of yours. If you find gadgets getting in the way, stop using them, and use your natural abilities instead.

10. Know how to use your gadget.
Never, I repeat, NEVER, stop to read the instructions on how to use a new gadget when in the middle of a case. If you don’t know how to use it, don’t.

Hopefully, these tips will come in handy should you choose to be a superhero, or you already are one and are looking for a different way to approach things.

Whatever you do, make sure you have fun doing it! If it isn’t fun, either don’t do it, or do it differently.

26 responses to “Top Ten Tips for a wannabe superhero: 2: Gadgets”

  1. shreejacob avatar

    Ooh another useful post Aquatom! My Superhippo has been feeling a little bored lately and would love to get a thingamajik for herself and the list will definitely come in handy! She was thinking of either a hula hoop OR a compact powder thingy. She’s just not sure exactly what it will or can do..but she’s already sitting at the desk and working things out as we speak – or should I say as I type this.
    Say..you wouldn’t mind sharing with me the name of a good man or woman that might be good at making these stuff?

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Hi Shree, I think that the compact powder thingy may have more uses than the hula hoop, so maybe going with the hula hoop would add more of a wow factor when it is used in ingenious ways. You have to think of the wow factor!
      I can’t give you any names for the gadget men, unfortunately, Shree, but remember the old saying “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”? It applies to gadget men too… they turn up when they are needed the most! πŸ˜€

      Like

  2. elizabethyon avatar
    elizabethyon

    Hello! My first visit to your blog, and I had the best time! Thanks for making me laugh. I’ll be back…

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Hello Elizabeth! Pleased to meet you… I’m also pleased you liked your first visit! πŸ˜€

      Like

  3. prenin avatar

    Very good Tom – I had chuckles abounding at the thought of useless gadgets – sounds like half the kitchen gear they sell on TV!!!

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Hi Prenin… I have hundreds of those gadgets (they sell them in so many ‘must have’ ways, don’t they? Although I bought a halogen oven once that exploded the first time I put a potato in it, so that went back straight away! πŸ˜€

      Like

      1. prenin avatar

        Must have been on HELL of a potato!!! LoL!!!

        God Bless my friend!

        Prenin.

        Like

        1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

          Ha ha… no, it was an ordinary potato. It was a case of in, on, bang. I was looking forward to the fluffy potato as well. Never mind, hey??? πŸ˜€

          Like

  4. Andra Watkins avatar

    I am still laughing at health and safety. Funny, funny post, Tom. Bravo!!

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Health and Safety is a must in the world of superheroes, Andra. We / they only make it look like it isn’t!
      Thank you, by the way! πŸ˜€

      Like

  5. kateshrewsday avatar

    Great stuff, Tom. I’m off to carry out an inventory of my superheroine gadgets right now. You remind me of Edna Mode’s perfect philosophy on this issue: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOpH6E7T6I0

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Hi Kate… is that the invincibles or invisibles or something like that? I’ve never seen that movie, and Edna Mode (she’s the little woman?) reminds me of someone who I can’t quite put my finger on right now… hmmm.
      I hope you’ve sorted your gadgets out in quick time! πŸ˜€

      Like

      1. kateshrewsday avatar

        The Incredibles πŸ˜€ Worth a watch.

        Like

        1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

          Thanks, Kate. I was kind of halfway there, nearly! πŸ˜€ I’ll look out for it!

          Like

          1. Andra Watkins avatar

            I will second Kate’s rec. The Incredibles is awesome, and right up your Aquatom Alley.

            Like

            1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

              Thanks, Andra. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for it! πŸ™‚

              Like

  6. jennygoth avatar
    jennygoth

    ive got a good gadget its called a knickermething you tie extra large knickers to your belt leave one leg dangling when you run for the bus the wind gets in them and acts like a parachute you grab the bus handle and it slows you down to climb on also doubles up as a shopping bag tie legs together great for carrying tins home how good is that lol xxjen

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Very good, Jen! I suppose the knickermething would also come in very handy when chasing super villains too! And the double-use thing for the shopping bag is ingenious! πŸ˜€

      Like

  7. beautifulchaos2 avatar

    lol that was a fun read Tom πŸ™‚ I have some of those thingamabobs in my kitchen drawer that I have no idea what it’s used for, now I realize it’s a Superhero gadget! lol.
    Hope you have a great weekend.
    Hugs, Nikki

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Thanks, Nikki… and you too! πŸ˜€
      There’s all kinds of superhero gadgets lying around, not being used, the trick is to know what the use is; but like you, I have plenty that I have no idea as to what they are for! πŸ˜‰

      Like

  8. Androgoth avatar
    Androgoth

    Never go anywhere without your Catapult Aquatom, it can be hidden in your most slinkiest of ‘Y’ fronts or simply added as a stylish choker, of course the ammunition will need to be hidden out of sight in order to stay safe but there are so many different types so be extremely wise on that one. Of course the contemporary Superhero can fashion a Catapult just by using a regular thong, but try not to bend over too quickly or indeed too awkwardly during reloading or the thinging of the thong will be rather excruciating to say the very least πŸ™‚ lol Okay I am out of here before you click the β€˜Trash Comment’ option πŸ™‚ lol

    Have a wickedly excellent weekend Aquatom
    and thank you for adding such an entertaining posting πŸ™‚

    Androgoth

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      And thank you for your comment, Andro… very amusing! But the catapult is a good example of a nifty gadget to have. I’m not entirely convinced about the thong thing though…
      I hope your weekend is going good too! πŸ™‚

      Like

  9. bex avatar

    excellent post Tom – i’m always looking for good tips and rules for superheroes…i think of it as “keeping up with the competition”, those of us on the side of evil and villiany have to keep up with the trends too!

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      Ah, Bex, I have a useful little gadget embedded within my computer that recognises super villains and they get to read a completely different post to the one that I have typed for everyone else!
      I forgot about this gadget when I wrote this guide. πŸ˜‰

      Like

  10. Miss Demure Restraint avatar

    I always wanted to know how to spell . . . thingumabob.

    I believe these points are all valid and useful. I will promptly print them and add them to my superhero handbook. What kind of superhero would I be without a handbook? Be advised, I have bookmarked your site so I may be alerted to any future superhero guidelines you see fit to provide.

    Now all I need is a superhero name.

    Like

    1. Tom (Aquatom1968) avatar

      There’s a couple of ways of spelling it, I believe, Miss D!
      Every superhero should have a handbook… only they shouldn’t read it whilst they are superheroing, and yes, I will be posting a few more tips and hints over time. they always come in useful!
      And a superhero name? Miss Demure sounds quite heroic in itself! If you’re not too keen on this, then a name will probably appear to you over the next few days! πŸ˜€

      Like

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