Collectively Speaking

I learned a very interesting thing today. Interesting to me as I never knew it before, but it makes perfect sense when I think of it in my mind’s eye. To be honest, I don’t think that I have actually seen it before either, but next time (which will be the first time) I’ll be able to point it out and call it by its proper name.

“But what is it?”

Ah, thank you, that person over there! I was just getting to that, and I can see that you are on the edge of your seat with anticipation. What’s that? Oh, you’re standing. Sorry about that. What I am referring to, is, quite simply, a group of butterflies. Or, as I learned today, a kaleidoscope of butterflies. What a completely accurate way of describing what a ‘swarm’ of butterflies would look like – especially if they were many different breeds and colours, all fluttering together.

That got me thinking of other collective nouns. Unusual ones that can be slipped into a conversation one day when stuck at a red traffic light (obviously if you are waiting with someone – not much point having a conversation with yourself if you are alone, although I have had the odd chat with myself from time to time), or pointing something out, such as a kaleidoscope of butterflies… if you were to ever see one!

How about an obstinacy of buffalos? I may be wrong, but I can’t remember seeing any buffalos in the UK for a while, but I’d know what to say when I did.

A cartload of monkeys. I’m not sure exactly how many would need to be in a cartload – or how many is actually considered a group – for that matter. Thinking of a load of monkeys in swarm proportions (as with the earlier butterflies) seems to make ‘cartload’ a little weak, from my point of view. We’d need something larger. Grander. A ramblement of monkeys; or a chittering – or a squawk of monkeys. Yes. A very large group of monkeys is now a squawk.

A clutter of spiders makes sense. A walk of snails less so (I’d go for a slide of snails).

A knob of toads doesn’t sound right. Neither does a nuisance of cats. Yet a storytelling of rooks has a nice ring to it. And two of my favourites… a prickle of hedgehogs and a bloat of hippopotami.

With people, we have a coven of witches, a flock of tourists and a melody of harpists. But what would be the collective name for a group of female harp playing white magicians who go on a day trip to Blackpool?

An audience of listeners, a prudence of vicars and a staff of employees. What would a group of vicars hired to listen to the previous group of people (the witches) be correctly referred to as?

And then we have a promise of barmen, a bevy of beauties and a blush of boys. What would a group of barmaids who had to work dressed as a gang of boys be known as?

Random, I know.

I love learning about words, but all of these collective nouns now have me confused (It doesn’t really take much!). A confusion of collective nouns, perhaps? Or more a waffle of words…