Thermally Challenged

I’ve found the perfect thermometer.

By perfect, I mean useless.

The red line is up and down like a yoyo, yet the temperature remains the same (or thereabouts).

Maybe this is how thermometers started out back in the day, possibly in the middle ages. Only back then, they wouldn’t have used numbers, they’d have used the middle ages equivalent of words.

Something like:

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. strenuofly hott .

. hott fo ftay fleeping . 

. unfathomably warmeth .

. warmeft of the warmeth .

. juft over warmeth .

. comfortably warmeth .

. warmeth .

. breefy but warmeth . (they didn’t have Z back then)

. breefy .

. bluftery .

. edgy .

. cooleth .

. coldeth .

.  freefing coldeth .

. freefing coldeth with icicles .

. freefing coldeth with icicles and blue fkin .

. fo coldeth fo ftay fleeping .

. f f f .

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Or maybe not.