Talk about one of those days.
I’ll run through the morning with you:
A telephone call come in for me, regarding something or other. I forget what, exactly, as the person calling was announced as David Attenborough, famed natural history and wildlife TV presenter, amongst other things.
It turned out that it wasn’t David Attenborough at all, and it was a wrong number.
Then, another call came in, which was David Attenborough. He started to ask me his question, when an almighty commotion obliterated all the sound from the receiver, and I couldn’t make out a word he was saying.
The commotion turned out to be my radio alarm. It was 5:15, and I had a few snoozes before getting up.
I was just dozing off, when the alarm went off again. I turned over.
I was just about to get back into the dream, something I rarely ever do once I’ve been disturbed from one, when the alarm went off again. I resisted the temptation to fling the thing across the room, and decided there and then to get up.
Bleary eyed, I walked into the wall.
Bleary eyed then, and seeing stars, I walked through the door and into the bathroom.
I did the bathroom things and got myself ready without incident, and was out in the rather cold Thursday morning air at about 7am.
I walked over to the car, which looked as though it had been draped with an icy blanket.
I opened my door, inserted the key into the ignition and turned it, switched on the rear-window heater, cranked up the heating to the max, reached behind under the back seat to obtain my de-icer spray and scraper, allowed the door to close gently and set about defrosting the vehicle.
All windows sprayed, I decided to finish the job by scraping any remaining ice away.
I went to open the door, and it wouldn’t budge. Frozen solid.
Or so I thought.
I sprayed de-icer all around the door, and tried with all my might to open it, but to no avail. My car was revving away, merrily to itself, and I was outside. It was then that I’d realised I’d locked the door. Somehow, as it was gently closing, my elbow had caught the lock, and plunged it down without me knowing.
I remembered my spare key, so dashed back toward the Mansion to try and find it.
I got to the Mansion door, and remembered that my key was with my car key inside the car.
I then dashed back to the car, and tried the door again, in case I hadn’t actually locked it, and it had frozen itself closed, and the heat from the engine would have by now thawed it out. It hadn’t. It was still locked.
I then remembered I had my spare Mansion key on my other set of keys in my pocket, so dashed back into the Mansion to get the spare car key.
I found an old car key, and moved it to one side, and spotted another one which I presumed was my spare key.
I dashed back to the car, which was still revving away, now purring contentedly, with the Grinds becoming covered in a small fuel-filled mist. The key I had was the old car key that I thought I’d moved to one side a few seconds before.
I dashed back into the Mansion, and turned the place upside down as I’d forgotten where I’d moved the key to.
I then found the key. A chorus of Hallelujah! filled the Mansion. Well, my head anyway!
Spare car key located, I dashed back out to the car to find that the spare car key I’d found was actually the spare car key to another old car I had and not the current one.
So, I dashed back into the Mansion again, and turned the place upside down once more, and came across yet another car key. And this was it!
I dashed back to the car, and OPENED THE DOOR! I turned the engine off, and removed the key, before reaching into the backseat to get the scraper.
I then realised that I didn’t need the scraper, as all of the ice had melted nicely away.
I then dashed back to the Mansion door, to make sure I’d locked it, as I couldn’t remember whether I had or not. I had.
I then dashed back to the car, and was finally able to drive away. Shattered, but relieved.
I then got to the gate, and found the latch was frozen solid…
And that was this morning. The day still had to start. At least I’ve learned a lesson or two here. On a frozen morning, open two doors on the car and not just one – just in case – and ALWAYS carry a spare key… you don’t need one until you need one, and if you don’t have one when you need one there’s no point complaining about it because that’s why you’re given one in the first place!
Have you learned any lessons today? If so, how. You can mention the lesson if you so desire, but sometimes the journey is far more interesting (or frustrating / shattering / exasperating!) than the destination!
And what was David Attenborough all about???