The man who was almost Batman

He hated the attention.

He hated the pointing, the laughter, the jeers, the “Where’s Alfred?” comments. He hated knowing that the latest movie was due for release, as it would all start again, although it had never really gone away.

He tried to get away, but was always spotted by someone.

He wasn’t a very fortunate man, by any means. Even his job caused him to be ridiculed. He was a clown – and not a very good one. Certainly, he could be funny if he tried, but, as he was unfortunate, he’d been hired to be the serious clown. A serious clown is no laughing matter.

And he hated it.

He had to be glum while all of the other clowns received custard pies or buckets of water.

He had to be the clown whose gadgets didn’t work; wheels would fall off his tricycle; he fell over boxes that the other clowns pushed behind him; he had to step on the tines of a rake, knowing full well the handle would hit him squarely in the face every time. The list goes on and on…

And being named Wayne Bruce just added to his woes.

People knowing his name found his job even more hilarious due to his ‘namesake’s alter ego’s arch enemy being the Joker. The sinister clown.

And he hated it.

He hated everything about his job – his situation.

The company he worked for called a general meeting, and the Head Clown announced that to keep things fresh within the ensemble, every Tuesday would be Alternative Night.

A ‘Dark Night’ in the world of comedy, where the humour would be focussed on superheroes rather than clowns.

As soon as he heard of the idea, Wayne hated it.

The Head Clown advised that each member would draw their particular superhero out of a hat, and then they’d then be whisked away for an ill-fitting costume fitting. They were to look like their particular hero, but from the point of view of a clown. Bright colours, big shoes, and other identifying features, both hero and clown.

Next, it was Wayne’s turn to choose his hero.

Everyone had been sworn to secrecy, and couldn’t reveal which superhero they were to be until all of the others had chosen.

Fortunately for Wayne, he was half-way through the group, so had chance of getting a good one.

Fingers crossed, he pulled out a slip of paper from the fluorescent green bowler hat, stepped away from the group, and, with an unusual bout of anticipation, he opened up the slip of paper.

And sighed.

Robin.

He just knew what was going to come his way next.