The car stalled at the bottom of the hill. Adam turned the key several times, but it wouldn’t start.

He locked the car securely, and set off up the hill towards where he’d seen the bright neon diner sign from the main road several minutes earlier, hoping to use their phone.

Torrential rain pushed him back, but eventually he reached the trailer at the top.

He noticed the green sign on the door: closed.

***

Flash in the Pan time again, this time the flash word is Diner, and the word limit is 75. I’m one word short yet again this time; 74 words have been used.

Posted by Tom Merriman

A future writer living in the present day

34 Comments

  1. Great response, Tom. Made me hungry. I love diner food.

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    1. Me too… chili and curly fries are my favourite!

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  2. This is wonderful. First he locks up the car securely (who can steal it? haha) and all that struggle getting to the diner and it’s c.l.o.s.e.d. Love this.

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    1. Thanks, Tess… he was a little concerned!

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  3. Love it TL….I finally pegged what intrigues me most about your writing. Your ability to describe scenarios that make you see and feel them….Bravo….VK

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    1. Thanks, VK. I like to try to describe situations as though we are there.

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  4. VEry good! How I know that feeling;)

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    1. Thanks, Elena. It’s a bit disheartening, isn’t it?

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  5. At least you picked the right 74 words, Tom!

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    1. I had to cut a few back with this one, Hook…

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  6. I was wondering if he’d encounter some less-than-pleasant individuals (or creatures) in the diner, like in a Stephen King novel. 😉

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    1. He may have done if the place was open, Carrie… although the creatures could also have been lurking outside…

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  7. Nice flash Tom. It makes me crave pie.

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    1. Thanks, LA. Chili and curly fries for me!

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  8. OH … the agony of that walk.

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    1. Indeed, Frank. And for nothing!

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  9. ah well, Sir Aquatom, if thou was being particular h’about your English, thou couldst have put ‘would not’ instead of ‘wouldn’t’ for example… hey presto, 75 words, Full Limit. but then who’s counting… 🙂
    Like everyone else I was just beginning to get my order ready for the diner… OH well, ’tis beans on toast tonight then… xPenx

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    1. I could’ve, Lady P, but there’s also a he’d, so I’d be well o’er the limit, word-wise, if I’d done so.
      I’m well o’er ‘postrophe limit wit’ this reply though!!! 😉
      Hope you enjoyed your beans on toast – not had that in ages!

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  10. So sad . . . after all that and he didn’t even get a slice of PIE. :mrgreen:

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    1. No, he didn’t, Nancy. He may have had a sandwich in the car though…

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  11. I really like this, It sounds like it could be the beginning to a scary story! Maybe you plan to turn it into a longer story?
    Wish you a great day Tom.

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    1. Thanks, Nikki, I could grow the story sometime in the future, I’ll have to see… this was only intended to be a short for Red’s challenge, but I like the idea of a scary story myself. Hmmm…!

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      1. That is the fun of these. Some of them grow up to be really great short stories and a few novels.

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        1. Yes… they spark further ideas!

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  12. Awesome. I know so many people who this happens to all the time! Great flash, Tom!

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  13. It is an awesome skill to do these really short short stories. It shows a form of discipline and focus! *claps* ;D

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    1. It’s also fun, Shree… I’d suggest you have a go! I think it will get easier the more that are written (famous last words spring to mind here!)

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  14. Red keeps suggesting I try her Flashes in the Pan…. lol….

    You and others do such excellent work on them, loved this little story.. x

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    1. I think you should have a go, Sue! It’s fun!

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  15. oh…poor guy. He should bring a cellphone 😉

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    1. Knowing his luck though, Novroz, the battery would be out of power!

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      1. in that case…he needs a lucky charm 😉

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        1. He does indeed! 😉

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