Stand back, citizens!

Every now and then, you are called upon to do some kind of super-heroics that leave you wondering what would have happened if you hadn’t been there. Or maybe, that’s just me.

Twice this week, I have had to jump to the rescue of ordinary people going about their ordinary business. Or, extra-ordinary people involved in out-of-place situations.

The first event was during one of my hospital visits this week. The ward was quiet, with the exception of hushed laughter, and the occasional ping of a monitoring machine. Nurses chattering in their observation booths, and checking on patients, taking blood samples, dishing out medication and answering the most random of questions thrown at them.

The relative calm of the ward was shattered when a stack of chairs suddenly collapsed as an unsuspecting nurse was walking by, carrying a cup of steaming hot coffee. The chairs clattered to the floor, causing patients, visitors and nurses to look over to see what the commotion was about.

I leapt up out of my seat, to try to help to pick up the chairs and restore the order of the day. I only managed to move one chair, as unseen by me, another nurse had stacked the chairs again; it was her fault that the stack had collapsed in the first place, as she had somehow managed to cause them to become unbalanced.

I returned to my seat with the slogan “Every Little Helps” going through my mind. My moving of the chair made it easier for the nurse to stack them all again, so it wasn’t exactly a pointless exercise on my part. I tell myself, anyway…

The second incident was more serious.

I walked into the Co-op to be faced with a crowd of customers and staff standing around in a circle, away from the counter. Something was amiss, but I had to obtain my shopping first and foremost before I found out what.

I arrived at the checkout, goods in hand, and one of the shop assistants asked me if I was any good with spiders. By the counter, actually in the exact centre of the checkout to be exact, was an arachnid the size of which probably hasn’t been seen since pre-historic times. It was obvious why all of these people were standing away from the counter; and the spider scuttled away from, and back to, its comfortable corner, with each of its muscular legs twitching nervously.

I was asked if I could get the spider out of the shop. The assistant said that she wasn’t afraid of spiders, but there were some customers who were.

I had to pay for my shopping fist of all (another assistant had ran behind the counter to serve me, and popped everything into a carrier bag for when my task was done.)

I crouched down in front of the intimidating beast before me. I could see its eyes looking back at me. I think it could sense that I had no intention of hurting it, as it didn’t scurry away. I tapped its back legs to encourage it to walk onto my other hand, which, at first, it didn’t want to do. Eventually, it did, and I had to carry it out of the shop rotating my hands to allow the spider to walk ever forwards on its own journey to freedom.

In my hands, the spider’s size and demeanour had seemingly reduced, and I remember thinking to myself that it actually looked cute as it tickled my hands with each of its long legs. I was also quietly asking that the spider didn’t bite me.

I released the spider outside the shop, and went back in to collect my shopping. The assistant who had asked me to remove the spider said that I would forever be their hero. I must admit that I enjoyed hearing those words, but I didn’t do it for the fame or the glory… I did it because I was asked to, and the spider needed saving.

OK, in the grand scheme of things, helping someone with a fallen chair or freeing a creature that was probably more terrified than the people standing away from it, aren’t exactly the kind of super hero activities that tend to get reported on on a regular basis, but I’m glad that I did what I did anyway. I do like to help people every now and then. Helping people helps me to feel good, and I like to feel good.

I had to do both of these in my secret identity. Super heroes don’t go hospital visiting or shopping, do they? Besides, I didn’t have time to change.

4 Comments on “Stand back, citizens!

  1. Sir Aquatom , you are my hero… and I mean it…so many people are killing spiders, (well I think so anywho, ‘cos when you hear them screeching and screaming about this giant thing attacking them I feel sure the poor spider just gives up the ghost. ) I save every one I can from my bath tub ( n’ everywhere else) and set it free, some go unwillingly ‘cos when I get them to the back door, they seem to stare at the rain filled outdoors (seems always raining when I catch one) and then at me, cursing under their breaths, ‘cos it must take ’em ages to get inside, out of the rain…(rain seems a theme here ….) .. Yesterday I had a giant one in my plastic bathroom mug, and took it down to the bottom of the garden, and I swear it tried to race me back …. as it’s legs were surely longer than mine.. mayhap it could of gotten there first and locked me out…
    At least your secret identity is safe, thank goodness, you don’t want people forever calling round and asking you to stack their chairs now do you? … (you don’t wear your underpants outside your Hero costume do you? It’s becoming very de rigueur but absentminded I calls it. ) … xPenx


    • Many thanks, Lady P… you’re right about them not liking the rain, but one thing that baffles me is that spiders always gravitate to the bathtub. Surely they’ll get just as wet hanging around there?!
      And rest assured that my underpants are well and truly hidden in my super suit… but some super heroes only wear their underpants – I don’t think they’ll be helping spiders out on a rainy day…


  2. Well good for you Aquatom and Heroics aside I think that everyone appreciated your help, indeed I always pick up Spiders as like you say they are much more afraid of us than we are of them, and it is a kindness to help out whatever the situation…

    Of course we’re not asking you to jump into the Lion’s den and rescue the Naked Nymph of Naughtiness, well you probably would anyway without any prompting from Lady Pen or myself as the power of the Nymphs hypnotic stare would be enough to make you jump into action, well that and her jiggling bits and pieces as she side stepped the Lion, leaving you just enough time to nip in there and get her out… Obviously you would need to check her over, you know, sort of make sure that she had everything that she wanted, like a cup of tea or a sip of chilled water or something? 🙂

    I think that you deserve some praise Aquatom as these days peeps tend not to give a jot about anyone that needs any assistance so well done to you my wickedly fine friend 🙂



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