Hello! I’m Firetop (formally known as The Firetop, but I dropped the ‘The’ a while back!) and I’m one of the members of the Elite Force of Britain. As you may be aware, we seem to have a leak around these parts, and documents detailing some of our cases appear inexplicably on the internet – and in other places!
We are looking into who is responsible for revealing our innermost secrets, but here’s another one we have discovered. Fortunately, this appeared after the case, and the beauty pageant was won by… ah! I couldn’t possibly reveal that, could I? You may not have heard who the winner was, and even if the contest isn’t highlighted here, nobody likes a spoiler, do they? (For those who do like a spoiler, it was won by Miss Delightfulsjdgrtahjnaj*
Dear Elite Force of Britain,
We at SPLATC hope you are well. As you may be aware, the Miss Delightful Beauty Pageant is fast approaching. We have it on good authority that three of the Misses are being targeted by international jewel thieves, and have decided to take the prudent step of increasing security to the Pageant.
We, together with the organisers’ wishes, have agreed to replace one of the entrants with a member of the EFB in disguise. Miss Delightful Secretary has agreed to step aside from the contest, in the interests of national security.
Miss Delightful Secretary is actually the contestant who came across the documents, which alerted us to this despicable plan, and she no longer feels safe enough to participate, so she is easily replaced.
The three who are being targeted are Miss Delightful Waitress, Miss Delightful Welder, and Miss Delightful Shot-putter. All three, it is rumoured, are expected to be wearing exquisite gemstones from Tanzania, Australia and South Africa. The names of the gemstones will not be revealed until the contest, but on their announcement we expect the thieves to strike.
We do not want to make the place look overrun with security personnel, as the event is supposed to have a delightful feel, which would be overshadowed by every third person being a member of security.
We also feel it prudent for other members of the EFB to shadow the three Misses during the contest.
Once you have decided who should replace Miss Delightful Secretary, and which three EFB members will be shadowing the three targets, could you please advise us via the secure channel.
We can then make arrangements for the EFB to attend the Pageant.
One more thing; only Miss Delightful Secretary and the organisers know of this, and we would like it to remain that way until after the Pageant. We have a feeling that one of the participants may be an ‘inside woman’ for the thieves, so those EFBers shadowing will have to come up with their own cover stories for being there.
Please reply as soon as possible, so we can start proceedings.
Security Personnel Looking After Things more Closely