As Vampyre’s Day draws closer, ever closer, reports are emerging of:

Love birds fighting;
Mail being intercepted by carrier pigeon;
Red roses suddenly turning black;
My true love sending only one turtle dove on the second;
Heart-shaped chocolates being made with a harsh, sharp edge;
A million love songs being replaced by an odd grunge/swing combo;
Humbug sales on the increase;
Cute Vampyre Bunnies rampaging amok, everywhere;
Weeping statues suddenly starting to smile;
The Argentine Tango now including five different Charleston steps;
Dating websites now getting a ‘swipe up’ option indicating, presumably, ‘get me off this planet’;
Seasonal card manufacturers slicing their prices by ninety per cent;
Cheese replacing oysters as a favourite aphrodisiac, due to the latter’s emerging vampiric tendencies;
The Love Bug movie being remade featuring a clapped-out tractor in the title role;
Aphrodite’s Moon, the THIRD Full Moon of January being covered by cloud, WORLDWIDE, and missed by everyone.

These developments are ongoing. Perhaps you have noticed something untoward – something not quite as it should be – taking place in the run up to Vampyre’s Day (February 14th). If so, let us know in the comments below.

Further updates will appear here as and when they come to light…


Posted by Tom Merriman

A future writer living in the present day

16 Comments

  1. Now Tom…..What do you have against a day set aside to show love.?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Nothing whatsoever regarding the day itself, Beverly, apart from the fact that it has lost its cleverly marketed reason eons ago. Love should be shown and celebrated everyday – or whenever, if one’s a grump such as myself! Hehehe. 😀
      I always slate Valentine’s Day on my blog – it’s just that this year, I’ve decided to rename it Vampyre’s Day. I prefer vampires.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. I agree . All of our holidays have been commercialized to the point of losing their real meaning.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

        1. It’s a shame, but it’s the way of the world we live in. Apparently… 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply

  2. To my heart, all those look like favorable developments, except for the first one, and possibly the thirteenth one, as long as it’s vegan cheese.. 🙂 Extra stinky and foggy in my neighborhood. That might be an “untoward development,” I’m not sure…

    And that’s a lovely pic, BTW. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I loved the picture when I saw it, and just had to use it, CM!
      Bear in mind that these are only ’emerging’ reports – none are confirmed as yet.
      Extra stinky and foggy??? I’d say something is definitely amiss there!

      Like

      Reply

  3. Yes, looks like February has some surprises hidden so they can ambush us!!! 🙂

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Exactly what, Prenin, remains to be seen…!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. Valentine’s Day is just a way for the manufacturers to make money. Love and humbugs should be given in large doses every day of the year 🤨

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Exactly, Elaine.
      I love my humbugs! 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  5. I agree. Our holidays have become a retailers dream. The true meaning is buried in past memories. It’s unfortunate.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. It is Eugenia… although we can also start celebrating the occasions in our own special ways! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Yes, that’s the best way.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  6. I really don’t do holidays. Some will think that terrible perhaps but that is what is so wrong with the world today. We are judged into oblivion, put in categories, and not allowed to just be who we are and think what we wish. There should be no right or wrong, it’s just more divisive labeling. I am not into holidays because the meaning has been suffocated by corporations clambering for profits from candy sales and flower sales etc. If the simplicity returns of just being what they are intended to be maybe then I would interact again…Until such time, it’s just another day…Usually special days are meant to mark something important that needs to be remembered….Well hello? Can we not remember to ‘be’ love everyday in every way we can and make the world better? We’ll get there(I hope)…As for Vampyre day, I hope all who are into it have a wonderful day filled with love….. VK 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I agree, VK. I celebrate some days, but not all. Every day of the year should really be celebrated… but if that were so, the corporations would really go to town!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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