Vampyrs Revisited

Waaaay back in 2010, I wrote a post called “Vampires”. As I’m being an extremely lazy blogger this week, and reposting some of the older posts that I had a little fun with, I have decided to repost this one too, but to add a few extra comments this time around. Well, time has moved on, things have changed, and the post needs a bit of a freshen up. I have to add some new material to my blog every now and then as well, because repeats tend to get a little boring after a while.

So, updated for 2012, here’s my post “Vampyrs…”

I seriously have a thing for vampires. I even like the name they have. And I like it also when it is spelt V-A-M-P-Y-R-S. But, I wonder, what do I like about them more? And, more to the point, what is it that I actually like about them? Well, let’s see.

POINT ONE

Vampires always look cool. Even when they have been out all night feeding on their unsuspecting prey, they always manage to pull off a cool exterior.

POINT TWO

Vampires always look fantastically good. They have an amazing dress sense, great bodies, ooze sex appeal, and have fantastic eyes. Of course, they look like this because they are all after one thing. And we all know what that is.

I can’t really add anything to points one and two, as nothing has changed there. I, I mean they, still look good and dress really well.

POINT THREE

Vampires feature in really good stories. Look at Count Dracula, for instance. You can’t get a better story than that, can you? And then there’s the movie The Lost Boys. See – good looking vampires with great bodies there. And what about the Twilight series or the Vampire Diaries? Good stories etc. once again.

I went to a fancy dress party once dressed as a cross between a Native American and one of the vampires from the Lost Boys. Nobody could tell who I was actually meant to be. I’ll never forget that Christmas party…

POINT FOUR

Vampires know they look good, and flaunt it. And why not? If I looked as good as them, believe you me I’ll be flaunting it myself!

I would have been flaunting it a lot more if I didn’t have to get up for work in the morning, however there’s still the weekend. Unfortunately, I need the weekend to get over the early starts of the week, and don’t have the energy for doing any flaunting then either. Sigh. It’s probably a good job I don’t look as good as I think I do…

POINT FIVE

Vampires tend to work the night shift, which, funnily enough, is the kind of hours I like working too. I’m not much of a morning person, but love working into the small hours. The pay is better too.

No change here from point four… Sigh.

POINT SIX

Vampires have split personalities. When they are angry, you can really see it in their faces! Their teeth sharpen too!

I’ve always had sharp teeth. Some of them are natural, and others aren’t. By this, I mean they have evolved into sharp points, they aren’t theatrical falsies or anything.

POINT SEVEN

Vampires don’t like garlic. This is where the similarities between me and vampires differ as I love garlic. Oh, and if I’m feeling angry I don’t get sharper teeth.

As I’ve just added to point seven, I don’t ‘get’ sharper teeth, as they are sharp already. I must stress that I don’t really get angry either, for that matter.

POINT EIGHT

Vampires always seem to have fun, as they live care-free lives. Well, apart from the fact that they aren’t actually alive, that is. But they do tend to do what they want to do.

Oh, how I want my own point eight! I have fun at times, but really could do with more! I would love a more care-free life, but not too care-free – I want to care about some things! I’d love to be able to do more of what I wanted to do, and less of the things I simply ‘have to’, like work. When that Lottery win comes in, I tell you what…

POINT NINE

Vampires, although they tend to stick together, seem to have solitary lives – especially those who live for centuries. I don’t think this is a good point…

…It may not be a good point, but a thought-provoking one never the less. I mean, imagine living for centuries, seeing all of the changes that take place. At least we’d be able to write about what we have seen in the previous century, if nothing else…

POINT TEN
Vampires, although they look amazingly good, can not see themselves in a mirror. This isn’t a good point either…

I need to see myself in a mirror. I can not shave, or tie a tie properly without one. I’m not keen on wearing ties, so it doesn’t really matter whether I have a perfect knot or not. I’m also not keen on shaving, but I’d rather walk around with the minimal amount of neck and facial cuts that could occur. By minimal, I mean no cuts, but even with a mirror this can be tricky. As can tying the tie!

POINT ELEVEN

Vampires need to beware of mobs, hunters and slayers who are always chasing them. Again, another not so good point…

Right, let’s leave the points… they’re starting to feel a bit negative now. I’ll put together what I have.

OK, so let’s see: Cool exterior with an amazing dress sense, sexy personality with eyes to match, likes to have fun into the early hours, and looks good all of the time.  Memorable, but can, on occasions, be slightly moody. Enjoys every moment to the full. Likes being around others, but also likes own company. Not too keen on people being a bit too full-on. Personal motto: Forever young, forever ageless.

The reason I like vampires so much is because they remind me of me! Cool… I’d have never thought of that one!

Vampires still remind me of me, though, when all is said and done. However, I don’t think that I remind other people of vampires. They haven’t actually said, anyway…