Fakebeard: The Elf that didn’t Fit

16 comments

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Yes, I know it’s July, and we’re just on the other side of quite possibly the hottest heatwave since the dawn of time. And YES, I’m aware that we are entering into a hosepipe ban here in the North West of England even though we’ve had bucket loads of rain over the last couple of days. And YES, I’m aware that paintings of elves don’t normally appear around this time of the year, well, not Christmas elves anyhow… but, I refer you to the title of today’s post.

The portrait is of Fakebeard the elf.

He isn’t a normal elf.

He’s moody. Grumpy. He doesn’t like bold colours. Or smiling. He has three eyebrows rolled into one. And he lives up to his name – he wears a fake beard.

He lives in a pine forest, somewhere very cold and very snowy, in a toadstool covered cottage with black curtains up at the window. He doesn’t like the snow.

He dreams of bathing on the golden sands of a tropical beach, wearing nothing but black and white bermuda shorts and carrying his favourite fishing rod.

He wishes he was a gnome.

In reality, he dances beneath the Northern Lights with the elf-folk who encourage him to join in, but in his mind he’s working in the mines with his gnome colleagues… underground… in the dark… working hard to earn enough money to get to his beach resort.

The thought makes him smile.

The snowball brings him back to his senses.

He hates the snow.

He isn’t a normal elf.

And his beard keeps falling off.

See that last line up there? And this one, for that matter! It’s Six Word Saturday once again.

These posts may not make any sense whatsoever, but they do have a way of fitting in where they should. Mostly.

And this rather random and very rough watercolour is number twenty-one of twenty-one for #WorldWatercolorMonth. Chaos is starting to draw in here at the Mansion, these posts may begin to dwindle out, but I shall persevere. Major changes are commencing in the Bathroom on Monday and already I’ve found a wig on the Landing. Don’t ask. It’s easier that way.

A wordy Six Word Saturday post

And another random watercolour painting for

16 comments on “Fakebeard: The Elf that didn’t Fit”

  1. I don’t like it . . . I LOVE IT!! (stealing the words of one (s)cowell person).

    I adore the painting. I was all over the story, and loving every second of it, even wanting it to go on.

    Well done you clever chap.

    I have a feeling you knew I’d love this one … once I managed to make my way over here. Sorry about my absence(s) . . . I brunged a note from me muvva, Sir.

    Great painting and fabulous story to go with it Tom. Truly love them. ~ Cobs. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No worries, Cobs… I’m in no position to comment, am I? Although I am, in a commenting position right now, with stumpy fingers after typing replies for almost a whole afterno – ah! I digress.
      I did write a little part of this tale in homage to you, Cobs (the toadstool covered cottage bit), so I’m pleased that you managed to see it.
      And don’t forget – whenever you come to the chaos here, you are always welcome – no notes needed! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you know what, Samantha? He has a slight resemblance to a man who works in my local supermarket as well (although he isn’t based on any supermarket worker anywhere!)
      I get odd vibes from my man at the local supermarket – as if we’ve crossed paths in a past life. Very weird vibes indeed.
      Elf and safety issue… bwahahaha!!! 😀

      Like

      1. Maybe…maybe supermarkets recruit elves to work for them! Have you seen the film “Elf” …do you think you could have crossed swords with your man in your previous life? I had to hide near the frosted cereal while my elf-alike was prowling…😸😱😸😱

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I don’t know, Samantha… there’s something odd but I just can’t put my finger on it. Crossing swords in a past life is definitely the best way to explain it; I can’t say that I know the chap from this one yet every time I see him I feel a flashback. Odd. I get the impression he ‘knows’ me too, which makes it even worse.
          When I first started writing this blog, I wrote about a pull I had to the early Seventeenth Century, and the year 1642 in particular – maybe he is also linked to back then.

          Like

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