This is Psychic Sue undertaking a test of the Wireless Psychic Recorder on the Sixth floor of the EFB Headquarters. The battery strength is at 98 per cent, and the signal strength to the base unit is fluctuating between 87 and 98. One hundred is the best signal strength that can be obtained, so around the ninety mark isn’t too bad. And I’m inside a lift with the main Psychic Recorder being on the ground floor, so this isn’t too bad at all.

The lift has shuddered as I’ve reached the Sixth floor, which is unusual. But thinking about it, it hasn’t used this part of the programming for a few years as nobody has been to the Sixth floor since the Haunting, so it may be a little rusty.

The lift door opened quite quickly, all things considered and I’m now facing a dark corridor. The corridor runs across the centre of this floor, with twelve rooms to the right hand side and three rooms to the left, with the much larger room being open plan at the end of the corridor.

It is this open plan area that I’m investigating today, just to see if anything remains from the Haunting several years ago.

The whole floor is in darkness, but there’s a light switch around here some –OWW! A static shock from the light switch. The lights are on now. Oops. Now they’re off again. I think I’ll switch them off and use my tor –OWW! Again!!!

The battery strength has now dropped suddenly to 72 per cent. The static charge must be affecting it somehow. The signal strength is still good. I can hear a knocking coming from room four on this floor, but I think a window may be open in there. I’ll be checking the rooms out later, but for now my mission is to concentrate on the open plan area.

OK. I’m here. The temperature is definitely much cooler. In fact I think I can see my breath, but in the darkness, even with the torch I can’t see it being that cold. I must be imagining it.

But there is some eerie music coming from around here. The recorder isn’t picking it up, which is odd, but I am. It’s like a constant humming, although quite out of tune and rather flat. It’s stronger here in the centre of the room.

I’ll sit on this sofa and call out to see if anyone is there.

That’s odd. The recorder didn’t pick up my voice as I spoke, yet I can see it registering my thoughts.

OWW!

Static again. I’m not near anything electrical here. This sofa is covered in red velvet – I suppose it could have been charged by the record –OWW!

I’m not staying here. That one hurt.

I’ll go over to the corner and see if there’s anything over there.

The humming is stronger here. Still as flat as a pancake and I can’t make out the tune – Greensleeves? It is! It’s Greensleeves. A flat version but I can get it – lala lala lalala la la… it’s stopped.

Do you not like my singing? Carry on, please. I was enjoying it.

Flat

Hello. I can hear you. Don’t worry about being flat. Please… just sing.

Flat.

No, please. Sing again – hum again.

FLAT!!!

You aren’t referring to your singing, are you? Try to say it again. Slowly.

Flat.

Yes. Keep on. Flat…

Flat N…

Flat ‘N’? Please try one more time.

FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES. FLAT NOTES.

Thank you. Are you trying to say ‘Flat Notes’? Are you… Gasp! I know who you are.

The battery strength is now down to eighteen per cent. I’d best leave this floor straight away and call an emergency meeting. The Flatnotes are the other-wordly henchmen of one of our greatest foes who hasn’t been around for a while… the diabolical Off Note.

I’d best run if they are trying to get through, they can grab through dimensions and hold us firm. I felt an icy hand on my shoulder then – that’s why it’s so cold. I should have realised this sooner. Picked up on it! I was convinced we had ghosts… Battery strength is now two per *

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