Dear The Long Easter Weekend,
Why not let us have some glorious Spring weather so we can enjoy you a little more?

Dear Blogland,
Why not have some fun this weekend and try to get in a couple of ridiculous jokes to your nearest and dearest, just for the sake of their reaction? You could use jokes such as:

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

What is brown and sticky? A stick

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame

I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it

Dear Daft Driver,
Why not learn how to drive properly? Did you know that a second lane at a junction is for travelling straight ahead, and not, as you did, for turning left? You may have been indicating, but it is usually customary to indicate before you manoeuvre. And then, you did the very same thing at the next roundabout. At speed. Perhaps you just can’t drive? Mind you, a non-driver would probably drive better than you did.

Dear The Word Manoeuvre AND Spellchecker,
Why not work together and know this is the word I want to use? Yes the spelling catches me out every single time, but it is such an unusual and distinct word it should just be taken as granted this is the word I want. I can always change it if it isn’t… I have to change it anyway as it is always spelt wrongly!

Dear Ghost Galaxy NGC1052-DF2,
How wonderful that you appear to have no mysterious ‘dark matter’ and are only made up of ordinary matter. Now that you have been spotted by us Earthlings, why not surprise us even further and send us a cheery ‘Hello’! That will REALLY turn science on its head!

Dear Mrs Tufty,
How nice it was to see you swimming towards me on the Lake earlier today, with Tufty just behind. It’s jus a pity that a couple of boisterous geese decided to squabble and send you off-course. Next time we meet, why not come even closer so I can get some good close up photos of you, like I have of Tufty.

Dear Chilling Rain,
Why not join us on the good side and rain a little warmer? I’m not asking you not to rain – I know how important you are – but you should be feeling warmer now. Your current raindrops feel like sharp icy pin pricks, which aren’t very pleasurable after, oh, about ten.

Dear People,
Why not just have a day with no judgements, no criticisms, no complaints, no bitterness, no hatred and no evil thoughts? Sounds like a lot to ask, but it isn’t. Really.

Dear Favourite Work Pens,
I love writing with you, I really do. The thing is, as I write such a lot you don’t seem to last very long without running out of ink. Please, why not think of people like me, and try to write a little (OK, quite a lot!) further before you have to go into the rubbish bin. In the meantime, I will be buying another pack of you soon.

And Finally, Dear Blogland,
Why not give yourself a hearty pat on the back for just being you? You’re doing a good job.

Thank you for reading,

P.S. Why not try something new and see what happens? I’m experimenting with 3D graphics at the moment, and have created this…

… well, I’ve been experimenting in PowerPoint for a while with some creations, but old Rustbucket here was created in my landscaping program. Rustbucket is a new character for one of my story serieseses and he will be making his true appearance later in the year. Trying something new always opens new opportunities, not necessarily in the way first thought. For now though, I shall wish you a fabulous weekend!

28 thoughts

  1. Dear Tom,
    Just the thing to brighten up this drab cold wet start to our Easter weekend.. And loved your little jokes.. Reminded me of the many Ken Dod would trip off his tongue, and how tickled I am to be back here reading your fine words and viewing your art creations.

    I can relate to the drivers, met a few this morning who must have thought we were invisible. In fact I did ask hubby had we an invisible cloak button on the car, for the amount of times we had people come out of junctions in front of us overtake to cut in like you only to turn left .. Astonishing!.. And hubby chuntering they say the Driving test is harder these days.. Well if learning to be a dodgem is part of the new format… Enough said..

    Great to be back visiting your witty humour again Tom..

    Have a Great Long Easter Weekend.. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Easter, Sue!
      Yes, I don’t know what has happened to the drivers, but they are getting a lot worse lately. Makes you guarded to be all the more careful, I suppose…
      Good to see you back, Sue.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Mr. Merriman
    “Daft Drivers” – I agree.

    Your spellchecker . . . the problems you are experiencing could be down to language. Check what language your particular spellchecker is set at and if incorrect, maybe change it. It’s possibly likely that little thing which is the problem . (Other than that it didn’t do well in it’s Spelling B.)

    The Ghost Galaxy – I’m not sure I agree…. but only because I fear that if it sent us a “cheery Hello” .. some country or other would instantly begin bombing it.

    The Rain – I agree.

    “Dear People” – I agree.

    Loving the jokes – more of those please! 😀

    LOVE Rustybucket – but my spell checker doesn’t. lol. He’s fabulous.

    Great post Tom. ~ Cobs. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Cobs! 🙂

      Yes if they find life in the next galaxy they’ll either blow it up, cause the downfall of their government so they can sell weapons to the rebels, or give them money to make them ‘friendly’… :/

      Love and hugs!


      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hello Prenin.
        I agree… although . . . . another thought crosses my mind . . . someone might build a wall to keep them out. Because, after all, these would really be actual ‘aliens’. 😉

        Squidges right back at you Prenin. 😀
        ~ Cobs 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Thanks, Cobs.
      The spellchecker’s fine, just doing it’s job (correctly in this instance as well!) I just want it to know that when I type manuvre or mnoevre (or whatever) I mean manoeuvre. And I don’t believe it! The spellchecker in this comment box doesn’t recognise the correct spelling! Sigh
      I get you entirely with the Ghost Galaxy – so true, unfortunately.
      As for the jokes, I have no idea what caused them to appear in such a huge font, but I’ve left them as is. They are kind of in your face anyway!
      And Rustbucket just came together! We’ll have to see what he gets up to!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Manoeuvre is the correct English (and almost all the rest of the English speaking world). But … Maneuver is American English – and this is probably where all our problems lie.
        Why can’t the world just accept that we’ve been around a long time and we know how to spell, so simply copy our example. [sniggering here – I’m obviously just joshing! or am I? snigger]

        I could see Rustybucket having a whole new dedicated place on your menu. As an alien, he could visit Earth and describe what he sees, how he sees it. (ut ohhhh lol

        Things we do – in different countries around the globe – would possibly puzzle him – tickle him – make him wonder – make him shudder – horrify him – send him running back to his spaceship (kisses would be included in that me thinks. lol).

        But what am I saying. Rusty is your baby. You know how you want to bring him up, and what sort of entertainment he’s going to ‘go for’. 😉

        The jokes font – that can happen when you copy and paste stuff. It will copy bits of hidden code and give you that hidden code on your website or blog. Fun jokes all the same, Tom.
        Great post altogether.
        Well done that man! 😀 ~ Cobs. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You’re right, Cobs… I hadn’t thought of the American spelling – that explains things now. Although I still can’t spell it the English way correctly on my first attempt! 😀
          With the jokes, I’d put one of those ‘hash’ symbols at the beginning of each one, so maybe this sent a hidden code to use humongous font. I didn’t want to use the character in this comment, in case it made it visible from the Moon.
          I like your thoughts on Rustbucket – he will have a different take on things. He isn’t alone, though – there’s a band of them; between you and me… 😉

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Your jokes had me giggling! And do you know how many books I had written before I could type manoeuvre correctly on the first try? (Hint: Too many.) And now WordPress’s spell checker is messing me up, because as I’m typing this comment it insists that I’ve misspelled manoeuvre. Twice. Argh.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My pleasure, Elaine.
      And you may be on to something there. The pens are quite cheap… but when you have to buy them often, maybe they aren’t as cheap after all. Hmmm…


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