…Or Just Who Is Tom Merriman?

Please gather round for I have a story to tell,
And if you enjoy it I’d have told it well…

Me. I admit, I AM a bit of a mystery. To myself as well as anybody else. Oh, and Tom Merriman? That isn’t me. Well, it is me, but that’s my nom-de-plume. My pseudonym. My blogging persona. We all need masks and cloaks sometimes, don’t we? I do. You see, I’m rather socially awkward.

This current journey of mine began at the latter end of the Swingin’ Sixties, not that I remember any of them. I remember sitting on my Nanna’s knee eating an apple when I was two years old, and that is my earliest memory. If only my memory for things I did yesterday was as clear, but with so much going into our brains it is so easy to lose track of a few things here and there. I like to think so, anyway.

I was born with sticky-out ears, not that it bothered me at the time. I was a very happy child, very curious and eager to learn and to please. I loved learning. Drawing. Painting. But I was painfully shy. I think the shyness kept me somewhat distant from the other children, but it didn’t bother me. I think my distance caused the others not to like me, and soon one or two would start taking their dislike out on me – usually by grabbing my ears from behind, and then the usual kicking, punching and biting. Not very pleasant, and it soon started to affect me. This time, however it was noticed by others.

Eventually, I went into hospital and had, what was at the time, pioneering cosmetic surgery on my ears to pin them back. I think I experienced my first dose of real magic whilst I was in hospital, and I’ll go into more detail of this in part four (Yes, this is a rather long tale!) Following this operation, of which I was terrified – in fact I was terrified of the whole hospital experience – I spent ten weeks of having bandages wrapped around my head.

So, rather than feeling sorry for myself, I’d pretend I was a spaceman. It’s funny, the things you do as a kid.

Every now and then, I’d have a peak at my ears when the bandages were being changed, and I looked completely different to how I had previously. It wasn’t me looking back in the mirror. I looked older. I still liked my drawing and painting, was still happy, and was still shy.

I’m rather protective of that little boy, me and yet not me, going through all that before reaching ten years old. It’s not a lot compared to what others have to go through, but for me it was a big deal. I did it. I didn’t like it, but I did it. I’m going to leave that little one with his pencils and paints now, and head through high school.

Still shy, still loving learning, enjoying art, being bullied.

By this time, I was slightly more outgoing. Gangly and spotty, but outgoing. I had a small circle of friends, but a larger circle around that of what I would call pretend friends. Friends who wanted me to do something for them… or else. It wasn’t referred to as bullying, but that is what it was. Even one of the teachers got involved which didn’t help, but I put up with it. Soon, schooldays were over and I didn’t need to see any of the people from there again. I think I gave up with learning by the time I’d left school, getting good grades in all of my exams but not excellent ones. At least I was out.


  1. Tom (or whatever your real name is…) – I think I am going to love this series. Is it really true about this ear surgery? Wow! What a challenge to go through! Childhood can be tough! I’m intrigued to learn more. Keep it coming.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Jodi (and yes, I’m still Tom! 😀 )
      I was coming up to age 7 I think when I had the ears ‘done’, it’s a bit of a blur but there are some very vivid memories that have lasted, and the change in me from before to after was really remarkable. With this being only a four-post series, I’ve had to jump quite a bit, just to key areas that have stood out to me along the way to this point. It’s based more on my thoughts than me as such, but there are little snippets hidden within that may give you more of an idea as to who I am. I’ve enjoyed writing it (which I just did from start to finish in one go, so it may not be in the best English!), so I may do another follow up at a later date. You never know, this mask of mine may even slip one day…

      Liked by 1 person

        1. No problems with that, Jodi! This series will probably raise more questions, thinking about it, but it may give you an idea as to how my mind works. Mind you, some of the other things I post about, outside of this series, should do that as well!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey you, Mr Blogging Persona Nom–De-Plume Pseudonym Tom Merriman 🙂 The blogosphere is such a fascinating and interesting place. The people we meet is what makes it like that of course. Like Jodi I am going to enjoy getting to know this International Man of Mystery with such nice blue eyes of differing hue peering over the horizon…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope you enjoy what I’ve written, Raili, It’s just spotlighting a few key areas that have stood out to me over the years, but it does reveal just a tiny bit more about me. And you are absolutely correct in what you say about the Blogosphere (Blogland as I call it!)… we do get to meet an interesting and fascinating mix of people (even if only through words on a screen).

      Liked by 1 person

    1. We can’t truly be sure, Beverly, after all I am just words on screen, but with posts like this there may just be a glimpse of the person peeping through from behind the words. I do like a bit of mystery, but I think the time is right to start dropping a few of my barriers. Slowly, mind!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think it’s good to come out of hiding from time to time. Great start to the series. I was extremely pigeon-toed as a kid so I understand the bullying that wasn’t called bullying.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Ger. The first hurdle, to start blogging, was overcome years ago, and I think I may just be approaching hurdle number two. We’ll see.
      It’s not much fun being on the receiving end, is it?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. No Masks TL….! Everyone, everywhere needs to be making a dedicated effort at this time, to remove all masks and just be who we are, finally! So much wasted energy we use up trying to be someone different, hiding what we think others won’t like, doing things that are not us but doing them anyway to fit in….But are we fitting in? NO! We only fit in and flow along with life when we honor who we are, love who we are and support who we are with pride not shame… Hopefully one day we figure this out and relax into who and what we are….even with unpinned ears if need be….VK 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well I can’t say I actually fit in, VK, more like getting through!
      On the blog, I write behind Tom Merriman (my mask), but I don’t pretend to be him… or perhaps I do. Hmmm… thinking about it…
      You are absolutely correct in what you say, however. One day, hopefully soon, I may be able to discard the mask permanently, and just write as myself. I keep telling myself when my book is published, but my book is on a shelf in the furthest recesses of my mind at present, so it my be some way off. In the meantime, I can only do what I feel comfortable doing.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for sharing a little bit about you and I look forward to learning more. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
    ― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Some of what I’m writing about has been mentioned in earlier posts, Eugenia, so that makes it a little easier to write like this now. I like the quote you have used. We all have a tale to tell, and when the time is right it should be told!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello Tom.
    I think, to some extent, we all hide in one way or another, parts of ourselves for various reasons. Some people will push parts of their personalities down so that they ‘fit in’ with a desired group or with workers etc etc.

    Personally … I won’t judge anyone who feels uncomfortable with sharing too much of themselves. What business is it of ours where someone works. Or where a person went to school. It’s none of my concern what date someone’s birthday is … unless someone wishes to share it with me – and then I’d tell them to do it in an email… because by putting your day and month of birth on the internet … then at some point forgetting yourself and stating that you’re celebrating your 26th Birthday … just means that particular person has given away their full date of birth. It’s such a short step away then from someone managing to steal someones identity.

    So I really don’t mind anyone protecting themselves.

    As for you personally sharing … I think you’re amazing.
    You’ve taken such a massive step over a wide cavern, to not only tell a story of your past history, and explain about the operation(s) you had to have to your ears; and the bullying … (to which I can relate. For I too was bullied at school) and THEN … you totally blow me away by posting a photograph of a third of your face!

    How brave you are. How fantastic you are. You’re brilliant.
    Someone go and get Tom his cape and his mask, for he is indeed …. A HERO!

    Well done Tom. But … just for me … please double check anything else you reveal, before you make it ‘live’ and publish it – just to make totally sure that no one with any menace on their mind, can look you up, or research the address of the Mansion and turn up on your doorstep …. or anything like that. Be safe. Even if it’s only to humour me. I’m BIG on personal safety on the internet. Seriously so.

    Still think you’re a Super Hero though. 😊
    Sending big squidges ~ Cobs. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehehe! Me? A hero???
      Actually, when I first started this blog, Cobs, I did so under the superhero username Aquatom1968. I had to have the number on the end… all cool superheroes had them in my Universe at the time.
      As for being brave… well, I’ve posted the photos before on my blog – the three quarter / half / top of the head ones were my trademark Selfies for a while, so I’m just recycling a little. And, come to think of it, a lot of what I’m writing about here has been mentioned in passing in the past.
      I get what you are saying about security, and understand fully. As I don’t post under my real name, I’m pretty much covered, and I don’t tend to use names or places when I post, unless they are very vague. And the Mansion covers a very large area, so it’s really a matter of finding the right door!
      The stalking you mentioned over on your blog must have been a bit of a worry for you… I’m presuming it was via a social media site, like Facebook. I stopped using that a while back because I found it pointless and completely fake… never been back on it since. Wherever it was, it was a wise move to close your account there.
      My next post shall reveal a more special side of me, which I hope you will enjoy.
      Squidges, Cobs, and thank you for your concern.
      (And for thinking of me as a superhero. Have I mentioned to you that I can fly? Maybe now’s not the time…)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. YOU CAN FLY???? [G.A.S.P]

        Will you take me?
        Will you?
        Will you?
        Will you take me?

        I’m SO glad that you’re aware of the dangers of revealing too much information. I can put a big tick next to your name now, and not badger you to be careful.
        I really don’t want to hear that you’ve got a bunny boiler knocking on the door. eeeeek! 😱
        oodles of squidges to my Super Hero ~ Cobs. x

        Just a thought … erm …. what would you say is your SPECIAL power? ~ C. x

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Tom! 🙂

    Yes I was different so I was bullied at school and battered at home, so I was glad to escape school and home after my mum and brothers were safe, but the bullying continued as an adult, culminating in the 28 year long persecution triggered by a bullying thug who had the flat below mine called Bob Cockin.

    Bob now lives in a bungalow next door to my block and the evil bastard continues to bully others because he’s thick as pig shit and doesn’t like people smarter than a parrot – he gets resentful…

    After 28 years of persecution I’m finally free, but the only friends left are here on the web and in church.

    I’ve learned the hard way I cannot trust my own family: All I went through to save them and I am repaid by my mum showing up at the hospital after my suicide attempt wearing a wire… 😦

    God Bless oh man of mystery!!! 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Prenin.
      We go through some stuff, don’t we? As long as we can keep our heads held high, regardless of how we are treated, then we’re doing alright. Those who don’t like us won’t like that, but they don’t like us anyway, so who’s bothered what they think?

      Liked by 1 person

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