Meanwhile, in the queue…

“Hiya!”

“Oh, Hi!”

“I’m glad I’ve bumped into ya – did you hear about what happened to me the other day?”

“No… what?”

“In here! Her with the blue hair that’s normally on the end till – “

“Yeah?”

“She only accused me of trying to short pay her.”

“She never!”

“She did. Her from the butcher’s was behind me in the queue and saw the whole thing. I was mortified.”

“I bet you were. What happened?”

“The queue went right around the store. There was only her with the blue hair on. I don’t think she knows how to call for assistance.”

“Oh, I know. She’s done that to me – had me waiting ages to get served.”

“I bought some bread, and a packet of those small batteries – you know for that clock – oh, and some chewing gum, and it came to nine fifty two.”

“Nine fifty two? Mind you, them batteries aren’t cheap…”

“I gave her a fiver, and five ones.”

“She doesn’t like change, her with the blue hair.Though she’d give it you back in pennies if she could.”

“She held the change in one hand, and stood there wafting the fiver around with the other. And then she gave me that look.”

“That look?”

“You know, that look – as if she were saying get on with it.”

“She does that a lot.”

“And then she asked me, in that loud voice of hers, for another four fifty two.”

“She never.”

“She did. So I said to her ‘I’ve given you a tenner.’”

“And what did she do then?”

“She gave me that other look.”

“Oh, not the other one. Her from the hairdressers told me about that one.”

“So I said to her ‘don’t you look at me like that’.”

“I bet you were giving her one of your looks.”

“What looks?”

“Oh, you know. Remember him in Green Street?”

“Oh yes! I was! So she turned around and said to me that I’d better get my glasses checked.”

“She never did! In front of everyone?”

“In front of everyone. So I said to her, in my loudest voice, that it was she who needed her glasses checking.”

“Why did you say that?”

“I don’t know. I was livid.”

“Did her from the butcher’s say anything?”

“No. She was as mortified as I was. Her with the blue hair held up my fiver, and said – she may have said it over the tannoy – this is a fiver not a tenner.”

“Oh no.”

“So I said to her that yes, I know it is a fiver, and the five ones she is clasping in her other hand makes the amount I have handed over ten pounds.”

“What did she do then?”

“She keyed in the till, and handed me my change. She never said another word.”

“She’s like that – won’t admit she’s wrong.”

“I don’t believe it – they’ve opened up another till, and it’s her with the blue hair.”

“Go on – you can go in front. I want more than you and this till’s nearly ready.”

“OK, will do. I’ll see you later at bingo.”

“You too. Make sure you pay her correctly this time! Ha!”