Almost murder on the dance floor

This week I’ve been concentrating on getting through embarrassing situations, or situations where the natural reaction is to curl up and cringe.

I’ve been through many of them, as has each and every other person on this planet and beyond.

I don’t like videos of myself and cringe terribly whenever somebody films me. I feel self-conscious when I walk passed a CCTV camera… and show me a reflection – well, eek! springs to mind. I’m joking about the reflection, by the way, I don’t mind them really. On Monday, I was flung into another dimension where I was a major TV star and didn’t like it one bit. But I got through the embarrassment of it all.

Tuesday, I recounted the time a friend and I practised for an age for a talent contest, only for the event to turn into the stuff of nightmares – you know the type… you’re running down the street, or standing in front of a group of people, and suddenly realise you’re naked. At the talent contest, I’m pleased to say, I wasn’t actually naked, but I was laid bare on stage in front of a roomful of people. But I got through it, and I can laugh about it now. I actually laughed about it on the day, but back then it could have been nervous laughter brought on by one too many port and lemons.

Wednesday, I reminisced about my weight training expertise, or lack of. I thought I was better than I actually was, pushed myself just slightly too far, and ended up slightly in pain. The physical pain soon went away, and the emotional pain brought on by certain cringe-worthy events diminished somewhat over time. I can laugh now. I could laugh then, but it hurt due to the occasional muscular spasm brought on by the physical pain.

Thursday, I wrote about my prowess on the ice-rink. Again, the experience left me scarred for life with a broken elbow to boot. Again, I laughed at the time, the whole thing was comical – especially as I’d predicted breaking my arm to a work colleague earlier in the day: “Tomorrow,” I said to her, “You’ll see me in here in a sling – I’m going ice-skating tonight”. My work colleague literally fell about laughing when she saw me the next day. Laughter – the best sympathy anyone can show you… really! Laughter is the best remedy.

For today, and the final instalment in my week-long cringe-fest, I’m writing about my skills on the dance floor.

I sing terribly. Not terribly well – just terribly. I dance a hundred times worse. Although, in my mind I’m a worthy champion – look at my ice-skating, as an example.

Back in the sepia days of olde when I used to go clubbing, one night my favourite haunt had a Jive Night. Folk were jiving here, there and everywhere. Legs and arms (and the occasional body!) were being flung this way and that. My friend and I looked at each other when one particular record was played. I can’t remember the name of it now, but it was one of those Jive Bunny ones. Even thinking of that makes me cringe, but never mind. My friend and I decided to jive, right there, where we were.

Well, I say jive.

We held onto each others hands and went round and round in a circle, pulling each others opposite arm in tune with the music. Eventually, we stopped the pulling and just span like a couple of conjoined whirling dervishes.

In the blur that went passed as I was spinning, I thought all of the other dancers were standing around watching us go. In reality, they were making sure we had a large enough area not to cause any damage to folk or furniture.

The record stopped, and shattered (and dizzy) my friend and I sat down again. And didn’t move for the rest of the night.

It wasn’t until the next day when I cringed at this particular event. Fortunately, I didn’t make anyone else’s face out in the passing blur, and not one person has mentioned anything to me about that particular dance. My friend and I have never spoken of the dance either.

But, it was fun all the same. And I have laughed at it since then.

If we can’t laugh at ourselves then we might as well give up, mightn’t we?

Just live it, feel it, do it, act it, sing it, lift it, skate it, dance it, as if no-one’s watching. If you make yourself cringe, so what? You’ll be laughing about it in no time. And if you make others cringe, well, so what? It’s nothing to do with them anyway.

Just do it, have a laugh, and Feel Good! You’ll thank yourself for it in the future!