Agents of Darkness V (Halloween Special Part 1)

Mr Sinster walked into the living room and handed Mrs Sinster a cup of steaming tea.

“Ooh, lovely! Thank you very much!” She said, just before scalding her top lip on the hot liquid.

“Careful! It’s hot!” Mr Sinster said, watching the steam rise into the air. He carefully took a sip out of his own steaming mug

“Never mind,” Mrs Sinster chuckled. “My green skin soon heals. See? Back to normal now!” She gently patted her top lip.

“Are you a Kalmalog Demon?” Mr Sinster asked.

“No, dear! I’m a Kalmalag! Remember the Kalmalogs have a blue skin.”

“They also don’t get along with other demons.” Mr Sinster said, thinking back.

“I wonder if Monique D’Arkness in HR thought I was a Kalmalog too, and put us together so we’d not get along and fail her mission.”

“It’s possible… but we’ve failed it anyway since Gabriel replaced her mission with his own.”

“Did you see what the mission was?” Mrs Sinster was curious.

“I only read the names and this address from the first page in the folder, and glanced at the heading on the second page. I was going to read it fully once we’d settled in. Then Gabriel turned up and whisked it all away.”

“Could there be a clue in the title as to what we need to do?”

“The title was something like ‘Mission: Chaos Abounds’.”

“‘Chaos Abounds’? Chaos follows me wherever I go.” Mrs Sinster chuckled once again.

“And me!” Mr Sinster laughed, taking another sip of hot tea, burning his lip. He pretended not to notice.

“So, what’s Gabriel’s mission for us?” Mrs Sinster also pretended not to notice.

Mr Sinster retrieved the folder from the bookcase behind the sofa in the living room, and opened the file. He turned to page two and read the instructions out loud.

“Mission: Light Abounds. Your mission is to spread as much light and fun and joy and joviality as far and wide as you can. You must retrieve three sacred artefacts; the Key of Kamra; the Book of the Appointed Pineapple; and the Round Pyramid. This mission begins as soon as you read these words.” The page shrivelled and disappeared inside a plume of white smoke. Mr Sinster gestured to Mrs Sinster for her to write the list down.

“Eh?” Mrs Sinster reached into her pocket and pulled out a small notebook and pen. “The Key of Pineapple…” she began writing. “The Karma Pyramid and the Appointed what was it?”

“Pineapple.” Mr Sinster replied.

“So we’re looking for two pineapples?” Mrs Sinster asked. “It’s more like a shopping list. Does it say where we get these items from?”

Mr Sinster looked through the file. “Nope. There was only that one page and it’s now gone.”

“Ooh… so now we’ve botched up two missions without properly starting either! What did Monique say in the meeting? Maybe that can give us a clue about her mission.” Mrs Sinster’s face showed a mixture of a hopeful and a pleading expression. “We can’t be that bad, surely!”

Mr Sinster looked back to their meeting. “She said to spread chaos, darkness and confusion to the wider world… or something like that.”

Mrs Sinster bit her lip and then decided to have another sip of tea.

The telephone rang.

“We have a telephone?” Mr Sinster asked. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know. Where’s the ringing coming from?” Mrs Sinster quickly stood and placed her cup onto the edge of the saucer, causing it to tip over, spilling the tea over the notebook on the table beside her chair. “Oh, bother! That’ll stain the table if I don’t sort it quickly. Where’s the phone? Harp! HARP!!”

“Harp?!” Mr Sinster joined Mrs Sinster in her state of panic as the phone continued to ring. “Why are you shouting harp?”

“Harp! HARP!!! BRING THE TELEPHONE!!!!” Mrs Sinster screamed, realising she’d gone a little overboard with her panicking. “Now let’s calm down. It’s only the telephone.”

“Why would you ask a harp to bring the phone?” Mr Sinster asked.

“Harp’s the…” Mrs Sinster couldn’t finish her sentence as a putrid, thick black smoke swirled through to the centre of the room. Both Sinsters looked on open-mouthed as Monique D’Arkness from HR stepped out of the smoke.

“SO. You are in!” Monique snapped. “Why didn’t you answer the telephone. I said I would be in touch.”

“Erm… we couldn’t find it.” Mrs Sinster said, rather timidly.

Mr Sinster noticed a cat bring the telephone over, and leave it beneath the table where Mrs Sinster had spilt her tea.

“Yes. We were looking for it. We’re still settling in!”

“Never mind. I’m here now.” Monique said, her face contorting with rage as the phone rang again beneath the table. She glared sternly at the phone and then slowly brought her attention to Mrs Sinster, who smiled gingerly and looked down. Monique then glared at Mr Sinster, who simply shrugged. “We didn’t know it was there.” Mr Sinster looked over at Mrs Sinster with a grimace.

“WHATEVER!” Monique was clearly unimpressed. “Please tell me you are doing well with your mission.”

“M-mission?” Mrs Sinster stuttered. “Yes. It’s going well.” She bit her lip and looked back at Mr Sinster.

“You’ve lost it haven’t you?” Monique’s tone had become more gentle, very unusual for her. Both Sinsters felt uneasy.

“It kind of burned.” Mrs Sinster offered with her trademark pleading smile.

“BURNED!!!” Monique was back to her normal self. “I knew you were inept, but never thought you’d be this inept! Sit down. Both of you. I will TELL you the mission this time. Write it down if you must.” Mr Sinster gestured to Mrs Sinster to write once again. Mrs Sinster firstly glared at Mr Sinster, without speaking, and then picked up her damp, tea-stained notebook. She found the next empty page. She looked at Monique, poised to write. “Your mission is simple.” Monique continued in her gentle tone once more. “You must spread as much chaos, darkness and confusion as you can, all around the world. In doing so you must search for three gothic items. The Candlestick of Kabbabooga; the Smoked Mirror of Al; and the Goblet of the Fallen Whispers.” Monique looked at Mrs Sinster. “Why aren’t you writing?”

Mrs Sinster gushed. “The pen. Not working.” She glanced over at Mr Sinster once again, as she scribbled over the page. “Ah. Got it going!” She turned the page again, and began writing. “Chaos. Darkness. Confusion. Candlestick of Al.”

“KABBABOOGA!” Monique fumed.

“Yes. Got that!” Mrs Sinster said. “Kabbabooga. Smoked Mirror of… who was it again?”

“AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!” The room shook as Monique shouted, causing books to fall off the bookshelf in the corner, just inside the front door.

“Oh yes.” Mrs Sinster sighed. “Goblet of…”

“FALLEN WHISPERS!” Boomed Monique, her face turned as red, if not redder, than Mr Sinster.

“OK. Got it.” Mrs Sinster smiled with her friendliest smile.

“GOOD. You have one month. The mission must be completed by Halloween. The artefacts are required for the Ceremony of Ceremonies on All Hallow’s Day.” More putrid black smoke engulfed Monique and she left the room as abruptly as she arrived.

“Please tell me you got it all down?!” Mr Sinster asked.

“Most of it.” Mrs Sinster showed him the page. The final item read ‘Goblet of Fallen’. “The pen ran out again.”

“So. We have two missions to do, one overrides the other, and we have six items to find. Three for Gabriel and three for Monique. And we don’t know where to find any of them. Read again the six items… their names may give us a clue.”

Mrs Sinster tore out the second page and turned back to read the first. “Oh dear. My handwriting!” She complained. “The Key of Pineapple, the Karma Pyramid I think, and the Appointed Pineapple, the Candlestick of Kabbabooga, the Smoked Mirror of Arle and the Goblet of Fallen. I did quite well considering.”

“It’s a start at least. So how do we spread light, fun and joy with chaos, darkness and confusion?” Mr Sinster stood open mouthed, before deciding to take the two cups out to the kitchen. He’d gone off his tea, and Mrs Sinster had obviously finished hers.

“Good cop bad cop?” Mrs Sinster suggested.

Soul howled a mournful ‘whoa’ as Mr Sinster left the room.

And so begins this year’s Hallowe’en Special! Further parts of this story will appear throughout October, in a chaotic, yet joyful, almost all over the place fashion. You’ll soon spot them!

Previous parts of the Agents of Darkness tale can be found in the Storylines Menu.