Hallowe’en 2016: The Spell Helpline

Some of you may remember that in an earlier post, I wrote about a handful of Seasonal Spirits who had arrived in our neck of the woods, and who went on to cause a ‘handful’ of issues here and there. Well, enough was enough, and I took matters into my own hands, and ventured into the Bathroom, which is directly above the Crossing Point of three or four Ley Lines and home to an Inter-Dimensional Portal of epic proportions, armed with a nifty Eradication Spell. I set work on casting the spell, and read word for word off the accompanying scroll. Unfortunately, I’d misread one of the key ingredients (well, the spell was written in a fancy text) using real red candles, instead of the required artificial LED candles. This unfortunate mistake had catastrophic consequences, and instead of eradicating the Seasonal Spirits, it multiplied them. It also had the unpleasant side-effect of replacing the Bathroom with the entire Universe. Such things happen around here, so in itself that isn’t all that unusual.

However, it needed fixing.

As soon as I realised the mistake, I found a number for the Spell Helpline, to see if they could provide me with a powerful reversal spell. I didn’t want to create one of my own, because, as powerful as my own spells are, they tend to be a little unfinished and rough around the edges, and this little predicament required a smooth resolution.

It took ages to get through to the helpline. Days, in fact. Today of all days, being honest, is the day I managed to get through to them. I was on the phone for half an hour, speaking to the High Priestess Aplaxa, from the Order of the Eternal Essence, and she was really helpful – after admonishing me for misreading the spell’s instructions. She also told me that the Order have been watching the Bathroom for a number of months now, a thought which hasn’t exactly settled comfortably with me.

She explained that the helpline had been busy – as it usually is at this time of the year – due not to the number of Seasonal Spirits running amok, but also not helped by them. She then advised that this matter can be left to lie, as it will be resolved by the reversal spell that she would magic over as soon as the call ended.

She ended the call by telling me the spell would be sent over in big, bold and plain text, but I still had to read every single word of it before use and follow it to the letter. She then asked me if there was anything else she could help me with, before gently slipping in that I would be under observation the whole time.

The call ended, and a smallish package landed just inside the Front Door.