Wednesday: Official Bad Hair Day

Now I’m not one to go on about my wayward hair.

Far be it for me to just post a hair related post just because, but, alas, today I must.

I thought yesterday was odd… today was stranger.

Searching through an old suitcase, I discovered a cup with a lid with a hole attached. That doesn’t actually read right, the hole was a protruding lip from the lid, and inside he cup were two items. A mask, which attached to the hole on the lid, and a small brown jar.

Instinctively, I attached the mask to the hole attached to the lip on the lid, and opened the jar which contained a strong-smelling menthol minty odoury liquid.

I poured some of the liquid into the cup, and attached the mask over my nose and mouth.

Before you recoil in horror, I remembered the cup from years ago being used as a cold remedy, and the minty liquid was provided to clear the pipes when one has a cold. I wouldn’t recommend attaching a mask to any old liquid found inside a cup in a long forgotten suitcase.

Everything seemed fine.

I could breathe easily (I do currently have a cold, hence trying the contraption in the first place.) My eyes watered profusely, which I presumed was due to the strong liquid.

It was then that I looked to see if there was a use by date on the bottle. Luckily, there wasn’t, so I thought the product was OK.

Then I saw the ‘opened’ date written on the box that the cup was in: April 1999.

And I then sneezed.

I thought nothing further of it, until I glanced in the mirror several hours later. My face is covered in hair. And not the hair from my head, which is also starting to cover my face but in a slightly different way.

And I have leathery black lips. And a wet nose. On the outside.

I’m sure it’s just a side effect from the decade-and-a-half old essential oil thingamy, which will probably fade away after a good night’s sleep.

I couldn’t possibly walk around with a hairy face. Walking around with wayward hair is bad enough. And I hate shaving. The thought of shaving my eyelids is making me shudder.

No. Tis a side effect, that’s all.

It’s cleared the cold though.

One good thing, I suppose.