Freak

I looked down on the lights of the streets and buildings below. Car headlights and taillights mixing with the yellows, oranges and whites of the streetlights seemed to create a multi-coloured maze of straight lines criss-crossing each other. The rain caused the edges of these lines to blur, and the side streets were considerably darker than the main roads.

I do not know how I long I hovered there. The rain was as refreshing as the wind, and as I needed to find some space of my own, the elements helped me to stay aware of where I actually was. Being so high up certainly gave me the space I wanted, but if I forgot I was so high, even for a split second, I would have plummeted, and I certainly didn’t want to do that.

It takes a lot to be able to lift myself off the ground ever so slightly, so to be able to soar so high requires a lot of concentration. To hover, that concentration is multiplied ten, possibly one hundred times.

I love the feeling when I am floating. I especially love the feeling when I am flying, my body literally becomes ‘one’ with the air around me. I’m not exactly weightless, as I can feel the forces of gravity wanting to keep me on the ground, but I somehow manage to counter balance the gravity, push against it, although pushing makes it sound as though I am exerting energy, which I most definitely am not. I’m just there. Just ‘being’ in the air.

I can’t explain the physics behind it. How can a man fly? I don’t have wings, yet there I am, quite regularly making my way above town.

I make sure I always do it at night. I can’t afford to be seen in the daytime, can you imagine people’s reaction if I was to be spotted?  It’s a pity really, as I feel I could do so much more if I could allow myself to be seen in the daylight hours, but it is just too risky. I’d be classed a freak, and I don’t think that I am. I have a different ability, that’s all.

The odd thing about being different is the reaction of others. Some differences are OK, and accepted. Other differences are shunned, and special abilities never get to be used to their full potential. Therefore, most people who are different reject their differences and become one of the normal crowd. They blend in. They dress the same, walk the same, talk the same. They lose their individuality.

That’s exactly what I’ve done. I’ve blended in so much, I’m not noticed anymore. I can dress differently yet still not be seen.

So, that’s why I needed my space; to think. To weigh things up.  Flying takes me away from everything and gives me all the space I need. Which is odd when you think that I can feel as alone in a crowded room as I feel when I’m above town hovering. The thing is, I like the feeling of solitude when I’m in flight as opposed to the feeling of solitude in a full room.

What else can I do, though? Maybe everyone is right and I am a freak. Maybe it is best that I keep my flying to myself.

I like the view from up there. I can see for miles even in the darkness, yet I never get what I am actually looking for. Answers. One answer to one question, really. Why me?