Flight of Fancy: An Honorary Vampyr

I happened to mention in my post The Stereotype Categorisation Project the other day that I wasn’t a vampire, which is kind of true, but also kind of not true at the same time. I don’t go around drinking people’s blood, or anything like that, so that pretty much proves the point that I’m not a vampire. I also love garlic, go out in bright sunshine, don’t mind crosses or stakes, and have a reflection in a mirror (although that still didn’t prevent me from cutting my neck when I was imagining using my Twilight range of products on March 30th)!  So, with that list of items that all self-respecting vampires try to avoid, you would be safe to think that I am as far removed from the vampire community as anyone could ever be (although I think that I share some similarities with them). And besides, I am part of the super hero community. How could I possibly be part of a different community at the same time? Very easy, in fact.

Everyday, I’m in a different community. Where I work, where I live, where I shop and where I dream lead me to be part of completely separate communities. Wikipedia describes ‘community’ as “In biological terms, a community is a group of interacting organisms sharing a populated environment”, and I would say that I am an interacting organism who shares a few populated environments.

The reason I am waffling on about communities, is to get to this point. I am aware that vampires are living among us. Don’t be fooled by the list above, that’s what the books and movies tell us. No, vampires are very much real, and live exactly as you and I do. Well, possibly more like me than you, unless you have the feeling that you may be part of the vampire community too, and then they may live like you as well. Just say that you do think that way, and it will make describing things a lot easier. Otherwise this whole post will be full of paragraphs like this one, with me writing about the differences between you and I, and the vampires, and I am writing to a set budget of letters. OK? So, vampires are similar to you and I.

I met one the other day. Walking down the street, in broad daylight, as bold as brass! I mean to say, just what is the world coming to? Vampires are sultry and moody, and need to live up to their night time reputation. Not walking along the road whistling “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” at the top of their whistle. I was about to nip into a shop when I met him. I knew he was a vampire straight away. You can just ‘tell’.

I was in my secret identity, so he didn’t know about this other side of my life that I lead. I think he had an inkling that I thought I was part of the vampire community, but he would not have seen through to my super side. We have to keep our identities secret at all times. Even Her Majesty doesn’t know our identities, and she holds regular meetings with us every other month.

Anyway, I knew this guy was a vampire, and I thought that he thought that I wanted to be one. He handed me a business card, and was about to say something to me when his mobile phone rang in his pocket. The ring tone? – the one he was whistling. He answered the call with a friendly “Reg speaking”.

Reg? Not exactly my first choice for a name of a vampire. Vladimir maybe. Possibly Olav, Le Stat or even Angel, but Reg would be near the bottom of my list if I had to list possible vampire names. Reg doesn’t sound right. Although, I have named my inner nagging voice Bernard, so anything’s possible!

I don’t know what Reg said on his call – I don’t eavesdrop, and in my secret identity my super hearing is not as good as it should be – but the call ended abruptly. Reg told me to turn over the business card, and read what was written on the back. ‘The Chosen One: An evening of classical music and entertainment for Honorary Vampyrs’. I love that spelling of vampire – it’s so gothic! Reg advised that he holds these evenings at his lair every now and then, and he’s always looking for new people to attend. They are quite resourceful these vampires, writing invitations on the back of business cards, and the address is on the main side: The Bungalow, Bridge Lane.

The Bungalow. Not what you’d think of as a lair. But after meeting Reg the Vampire, I wasn’t surprised. But that highlights just how much vampires are part of the community, just like you and me. And if you live in a bungalow, Reg is more like you than he is me, as I live in a mansion. And if you live in a mansion, we are similar to each other, but different from Reg in this one regard.

Anyway, I haven’t been to The Bungalow yet, so I’ll have to write about this at a later time… if I decide to go. Just knowing I’m an Honorary Vampyr is good enough for me.