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Letters To The Universe… The Mixed Bag Edition

Dear The Weekend,
Wonderful to see you again! But I have to say that you are coming around rather fast these days… and I’m only saying, I’m not complaining! I love the weekend.

Dear North Wales,
Wonderful to see you it was too, last weekend… venturing off the beaten track, as it were, certainly does reveal the wonders of your scenic views. As I was driving, I couldn’t take any photos of you, but your countryside always leaves a lasting impression with me.

Dear Scientists,
Why oh why do you want to bring back Martian rocks to the Earth? Can’t you analyse them on Mars whilst you are there, and then we have no threat whatsoever from contamination – if there is any? Mind you, I suppose you will have to come back to Earth as well, so you will probably end up bringing back something anyway.

Dear The Lake,
You were looking as splendid as ever today, if not more so, I must say. I took a few photos of you showing that Spring once again is here:

 

Dear Baby Waterfowl,
Hello and welcome to the world! Enjoy! (That’s you, in the last photo on the previous letter!)

Dear The Word Titin,
Such a short word for the enormous protein that you are. I did start reading more about you, but the gobbledegook became all the more technical and I found my eyes closing of their own accord, the more I read. But one thing I do remember reading is that ‘Titin’ is like a nickname or a secret identity for your true word, which begins with ‘Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylalanyl’ and then goes on for over three and a half hours, ending with ‘isoleucine’. At 189,819 characters in length, you truly are a titan of a word! And I thought gobbledegook was a long word!

Dear Blogland,
I must apologise. I have set myself a mini challenge to find the worst possible joke of all time. So that means one of these letters has to include at least one very bad joke. And here it is… with one or two more, for good measure!
– What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
– Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? If it didn’t stand on any, it would fall over.
– What’s grey and can’t fly? A parking lot.
– What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
– What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
Enough! Enough! Until next week…

Dear The Weather,
You’ve been very changeable this week, haven’t you? From tropical last weekend, to hailstone yesterday, and nice and sunny with hail and rainbows today. You are always keeping us on our toes (especially when we have to dash for cover in the midst of one of your torrential downpours!), and long may you continue to do so. We’d have considerably less to talk about if you didn’t!

Dear The Dead Of Night,
I’ve been enjoying waking during you recently, all of your creepy creaky floorboard sounds and wailing winds from outside keep me intrigued. Well, you know what I mean; intrigued until I drift off into the second part of my wonderful sleep, that is!

And Finally, Dear Tufty and Mrs Tufty,
I must apologise for startling you both as I dashed up to the shore to take the photos of you (one of which was used in a previous letter in this post) earlier in the week… You were nonchalantly bobbing about on the water’s surface by the Lakeside, and I thought it would be an ideal place to get a good photo. How was I to know you were both dozing, and in your startled swirls you started to drift towards the centre of the Lake again. I did manage to get a few good photos, however, but once again please let me apologise!

Thank you for reading,

P.S. Here we go into the weekend once again…

… well, I couldn’t have another photo to finish this week’s Letters post now, could I? And I think the message in this image is clear enough!


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The Superhero Diaries 5.2: Sia Klath

Hi… Lycralad here again from the Elite Force of Britain. Do you remember, last week, when I told you about one of our documents being unceremoniously leaked? You do? Good, I have another to share this week… although, this one is more of a news report that appeared in one of our local newspapers here. I think we found it wrapped around a portion of chips. Still, nothing too revealing appeared at face value:

The Mid Festival and Parade was thrown into disarray yesterday, Friday, when some space debris crashed into the top floor of the disused Midtown Building. Worried festival goers fled swiftly for cover, but with Mid being home to the Elite Force of Britain they didn’t need to worry for long.

In almost an instant, seven members of the super-powered group appeared on the scene. Monika Grave, aged 42, said they seemed to appear out of thin air.

Firetop and the Stealth Gentleman were carried by Lycralad to the rooftop, the Crimson Songbird flew herself and Psychic Sue to the top, and Muriel Magnificent carried the Diver. Invisible Charlie was also there, but nobody saw him, making the actual number of superheroes on the scene eight.

They made sure the debris was safe, with Firetop welding it securely into place into the side of the building.

Albert Bloo, 22, complained that it was now an eye-sore, but with Mid being an eye-sore in itself it didn’t matter. Mr Bloo quickly departed as the local residents began to boo.

They didn’t boo for long, however, as the nine superheroes (another one appeared on the rooftop, who Muriel Magnificent, 504, named as Sia Klath, one of the EFB’s friends and twentieth member of the group).

With the crowd cheering once again and the scene secure once more, the Mid Festival and Parade continued without further incident. Photos of the day will appear in next week’s Wednesday edition, unless the threatened industrial action closes the printing presses, in which case they will appear in the next edition of the Reporter, whenever that may be.

Shawn Rogers-Hammerstein, aged 50, took a few photos of the scene as it developed.

News was emerging last night that the debris that crashed into the building was actually a spaceship, with Sia Klath being the craft’s pilot. Nobody seems to know anything about this mysterious person, she hasn’t appeared anywhere else in the country, and doesn’t have a social media account.

We will be following this story in the aim of finding out a little more about this mysterious Sia Klath.


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What is Reality?

I’m pondering reality today.

Quite possibly, I’m even questioning it. Mind you, with a reality like mine at times, there really is a lot to question!

Is reality what we see, hear, feel, touch and smell around us… or is it what we think and interpret it to be?

I’m now questioning myself. Am I real? Am I even here?

Lately, I’ve been seeing quite a lot of helicopters flying hither and thither up above. Travelling this way and that, some slowly, some at speed. Most folk would say that there’s nothing unusual in that, and they could even be right… but the fact that I am noticing more of them, does that make it unusual? Take Monday, for example. I was at the place of W, and there is a lot of wasteland at the back, after an old abandoned factory was demolished last year. There’s nothing on the vast open land now, apart from a few piles of leftover bricks. It gets very windy when the gusts get up! Hovering above the land was a helicopter. A black and white one. Just hovering there. Perhaps they were searching for someone hiding out in the open. I don’t know. It didn’t make sense. Maybe I’m looking too deeply into things, and the pilot was just practicing hovering, as a learner driver would practice reversing around a corner.

Another helicopter flew over on Tuesday, so low I could feel the pressure from the rotor blades… within my ears. Within my head, in fact. I do find myself pondering the notion that something is going on, something that we will NEVER get to find out about.

It’s not very secret, if that’s the case though. They aren’t being discreet about their covert activities.

See? Covert activities are taking place around me. Everyday. I’ve noticed them.

Walking down a street, I get the eerie feeling that I’m being watched. A person reading a newspaper swiftly pulls it up to cover their face as I walk by… and they cough. As in code. There. Over the road. That woman on her mobile phone. She’s in on it. She’s interpreting the cough as I nonchalantly glance around. And, right on cue, a helicopter flies overhead. A car sounds its horn behind me; although it is on the road driving away from me. The woman with the phone waves at the driver. The car stops and reverses around the corner, and turns back on itself, pulling up beside the woman, who swiftly jumps in. The registration number on the car is… there isn’t one! It’s a black car, with blackened windows all around, and it is now pointing towards me.

I turn. The man with the newspaper has vanished from the bench where he was sitting. The helicopter travels overhead again – it’s circling. I notice an electronic advertising sign change what it’s advertising – I’m sure just before it changed I saw a video of me looking around. Nah – I must have imagined that. Why would all these people be looking for me?

It’s because I know they’re up to something. That’s it. It must be.

I’ll just have to pretend I know nothing and carry on regardless. Or maybe, that is what they want me to think…

Gah! All this second guessing has me circling just as all those helicopters seem to be doing.

It isn’t only helicopters and strange-acting people, though. When driving, wherever, whenever, at whatever time of the day, if I drive past a road junction, a car will either just be pulling out, or just arriving at the junction. Traffic lights turn red the moment I reach the line. Cars seem to be racing behind me on dual carriageways, yet pull in behind and don’t overtake.

And people I think I know surprise me all the more.

Maybe I only know a certain aspect of their character, and I’m noticing a different side to them I haven’t seen before. Does this make them the same person, or a different one entirely???

Or is it little ole’ moi who’s changed, and I’m seeing all these subtle differences around me; noticing a shift in reality, only slight but most definitely there?

I don’t know.

So, I’m pondering reality today.

Have you noticed any subtle changes lately?