Dear The Weekend,
Wonderful to see you again! But I have to say that you are coming around rather fast these days… and I’m only saying, I’m not complaining! I love the weekend.
Dear North Wales,
Wonderful to see you it was too, last weekend… venturing off the beaten track, as it were, certainly does reveal the wonders of your scenic views. As I was driving, I couldn’t take any photos of you, but your countryside always leaves a lasting impression with me.
Why oh why do you want to bring back Martian rocks to the Earth? Can’t you analyse them on Mars whilst you are there, and then we have no threat whatsoever from contamination – if there is any? Mind you, I suppose you will have to come back to Earth as well, so you will probably end up bringing back something anyway.
Dear The Lake,
You were looking as splendid as ever today, if not more so, I must say. I took a few photos of you showing that Spring once again is here:
Dear Baby Waterfowl,
Hello and welcome to the world! Enjoy! (That’s you, in the last photo on the previous letter!)
Dear The Word Titin,
Such a short word for the enormous protein that you are. I did start reading more about you, but the gobbledegook became all the more technical and I found my eyes closing of their own accord, the more I read. But one thing I do remember reading is that ‘Titin’ is like a nickname or a secret identity for your true word, which begins with ‘Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylalanyl’ and then goes on for over three and a half hours, ending with ‘isoleucine’. At 189,819 characters in length, you truly are a titan of a word! And I thought gobbledegook was a long word!
I must apologise. I have set myself a mini challenge to find the worst possible joke of all time. So that means one of these letters has to include at least one very bad joke. And here it is… with one or two more, for good measure!
– What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
– Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? If it didn’t stand on any, it would fall over.
– What’s grey and can’t fly? A parking lot.
– What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
– What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
Enough! Enough! Until next week…
Dear The Weather,
You’ve been very changeable this week, haven’t you? From tropical last weekend, to hailstone yesterday, and nice and sunny with hail and rainbows today. You are always keeping us on our toes (especially when we have to dash for cover in the midst of one of your torrential downpours!), and long may you continue to do so. We’d have considerably less to talk about if you didn’t!
Dear The Dead Of Night,
I’ve been enjoying waking during you recently, all of your creepy creaky floorboard sounds and wailing winds from outside keep me intrigued. Well, you know what I mean; intrigued until I drift off into the second part of my wonderful sleep, that is!
And Finally, Dear Tufty and Mrs Tufty,
I must apologise for startling you both as I dashed up to the shore to take the photos of you (one of which was used in a previous letter in this post) earlier in the week… You were nonchalantly bobbing about on the water’s surface by the Lakeside, and I thought it would be an ideal place to get a good photo. How was I to know you were both dozing, and in your startled swirls you started to drift towards the centre of the Lake again. I did manage to get a few good photos, however, but once again please let me apologise!
Thank you for reading,
P.S. Here we go into the weekend once again…
… well, I couldn’t have another photo to finish this week’s Letters post now, could I? And I think the message in this image is clear enough!