My mind races ahead of me at times, with ideas which at first seem easy and then leave me wondering how on Earth am I going to do that.
When I write my stories, the characters take centre stage and lead me down their own merry little paths, which I enjoy. They, the characters, put themselves in the midst of an array of weird and wonderful situations and then look at me, almost pleading, asking for help with moving them along. I try, but sometimes I simply have to leave them where they are as I cannot see a way forward for them as yet.
With my artistic creations I get an idea as to what I want to create, whether in paint, through the digital painting software, or even PowerPoint, and then start. And I then stop, looking at the blank space ahead of me.
It must be the same for both writing and art to get passed that initial block, although I’m not entirely sure whether it’s a case of just start and see what happens.
My initial idea’s there. The means to get that idea into some form of reality is there in front of me. And some kind of destination is there also, although said destination is an extremely fluid one.
But that first push is in a spongy grey area. It’s a soft stumbling block which lately has been holding me back with just a little more gusto than it used to. It absorbs the weakest of my ideas, and leaks out any feeble attempts of a start in a dribbling never-ending flow of self doubt. And this flow of self doubt gets in the way of my creative flow, bringing in turbulence, which further waters down the already fluid destination, splattering it into the mists of an increasingly murky future.
See what I mean? My mind – racing ahead again.
That future, as well as the blank canvas before it, isn’t set. It isn’t a solid unchangeable wall. It may appear murky or blank (depending on where one looks!) but it can be changed by the lick of a brush, the stroke of a pen or the click of a key on a keyboard. I just need to remind myself of that more often. It’s that sponge at the very beginning I need to focus on… to dissolve it away. It doesn’t matter if I create rubbish – the rubbish can be changed; amended; even re-done if needed. After all, that’s the creative process.
It’s a shame to be held back by a sponge, isn’t it? I think I should just dive in once again and see what happens.