Worried

Oh no, it isn’t a good post, this one.

I’m posting to try and keep my routine as normal as possible, and to try to keep myself as positive too, but I’m worried.

Worrying is not a positive emotion. It is linked to fear in my mind, and that is not positive at all.

I’m worried because of a couple of personal family matters that I am trying to handle strongly and positively for everyone involved. They are worrying too, which is just adding fuel to the fire in this great big worry fest.

Luckily, we can all laugh. Laughter is a good way to stem the worrying, even for just a minute. But when I’m not laughing, I feel the undercurrents of worry returning. I think I have it under control, so that it doesn’t take over me (hence that I can post this about it, rather than ‘the it’ that is causing the worry) but this is now causing me to worry about the worry.

I think way to deeply at times. I think I need to. If I didn’t, I’d probably worry about that too.

I’m sorry, I wish that I could say more, but it is personal, really personal, and I can’t yet.

I told you it wasn’t a good post.

Oh, and apologies if you found my previous post offensive – it wasn’t meant to be, it was meant as a warning to be aware of things that go on everyday and there are some good things to counter-act it (I’ve just read it again and I thought it was offensive… so that is why I’m writing this now. I don’t want to worry about things that have been done as well. That said, I’m keeping the post in, as I said it for a reason, and this whole blog is a learning process for me…)

Bring on the laughter! Bring on the humour! Let’s have some light-hearted fun!

I really do like to feel good, only I have to say that I have felt a better side of good to what I am feeling right now…

Jan 25, 2011

Background, Senses, Toms

9 responses to “Worried”

bex

Jan 26, 2011

sorry to hear that there is personal/family stuff causing you to worry.

worry can be positive – it can help you direct your thoughts, energy, focus on something very tightly, pay attention. i think the problem with humans is that we have lost much of the ability to use worry in positive ways. when we worry we should be running or kicking, punching, biting etc. or having sex *facepalm” – sorry about that.
i had an acting prof who challenged the “fight or flight” thing and suggested that it should be “fight, flight or f***” – you can fight against it, you can run from it or you can love it.

the laughter probably helps to alleviate some of those chemical before they turn to…cortisol? sorry, messy brain chemistry tonight.

just because we feel good, doesn’t mean that we don’t feel other things too.

i think.
i think that from your posts your “feel good”-ness isn’t superficial, because you think deeply, you feel deeply too. i sometimes think that for happiness to be real, beyond superficial, we have to feel other emotions too – other emotions go deep, so happiness can go high. like a foundation.

this is a good post. you don’t have to entertain. sometimes in order to make someone smile and laugh, you have to understand tears first.

ok, so i’ve probably missed what you were trying to communicate here, but there you go.

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1. aquatom1968
  
  Jan 26, 2011
  
  Thanks Bex. I read a book a while ago called “F**k It: the ultimate spiritual way”by John C Parkin, which I thought was very good. I’ve coined my own phrase, FIA (I think you can guess what it means…) which is what I have been telling everyone to do, leave things to the people who know what they are doing, and we can do what we need and want to do. This phrase is one of the things that is giving us a laugh so it’s working.
  However, saying there is no point worrying is one thing, and not worrying is something completely different. Especially if you have a tendency to worry or over-analyse things.
  
  And yes, we do need to feel other things from time to time – I take this as a reminder as to how good feeling good feels, but sometimes, well most times, when I’m not feeling good it’s not the best.
  
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  1. bex
    
    Jan 27, 2011
    
    yeah. i think FIA is sometimes really useful, but not always – the balance between caring and not caring – i call it “optimum apathy” – the point of caring so much that it hurts, it causes us to stop doing or feeling. sometimes we have to feel a little less to act.
    
    i’m a born worrier myself. but i also try to balance it and remind myself that there is worry and there is action. when i worry it is because i can’t do anything. when i do something i stop worrying.
    
    very powerful reminder.
    
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Laura

Jan 26, 2011

Sorry you’re going through this — I hope it all works out.

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1. aquatom1968
  
  Jan 26, 2011
  
  Thank you Laura… right now things are fine (well, as they can be!)
  
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corisel

Jan 26, 2011

I didn’t think the previous post was offensive at all. I’m sorry your family is going through a difficult time – don’t beat yourself up for worrying- its part of being human. Sometimes life hands us things that we can’t feel good about… Anyway, I’m thinking of you – I hope things work themselves out soon.

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1. aquatom1968
  
  Jan 26, 2011
  
  Thanks Corisel, I know it’s a natural reaction, but sometimes I think that the thoughts associated with the worrying are worse than what caused the worry to start off with. I suppose we all feel like this from time to time.
  
  The last post sounded better to me when I first wrote it than when I re-read it, but my mind was in a different place when I read it for the second time and I wasn’t sure about it, and I thought it may come across as offensive. I’m pleased you didn’t find it as such, but I felt I had to comment.
  
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mejustarticulating

Jan 27, 2011

Worry is the sneakiest emotion, it just kind of creeps up on you at random times, half way through a conversation or whilst you’re making coffee or something.

I worry about being worried too, I get paralysed with worry/ fear if I’m not careful! Writing about it is good though – I think half the battle is just allowing yourself to think things through – a special time for worrying without having to do anything else or pretend you’re ok.

I hope you’re family problems work out soon enough.

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1. aquatom1968
  
  Jan 27, 2011
  
  Thank you.
  
  I’m a born worrier anyway, and I think this is the emotion which is in stark contrast to my feel good emotions, it seems to filter itself through everything.
  
  We’re handling things as best as we can, I think, which is positive.
  
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