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I’m not confused, I just see things in a different way!

I’m beginning to think that I am seeing things from a completely different viewpoint from where I was looking before.

My own opinions about things are usually way off the mark to start off with, but as more facts come to light I tend to find that my opinions about many situations / events / things change, and I realise that what I initially thought was wrong. No, not wrong, different. OK, wrong some of the time…

Take the Moon, for instance. I’ve been interested in the Tarot for several years, and have been slowly learning how to interpret the cards. I’ve not touched them for several months now, but the last connection I had with them was with the Major Arcana, of which the Moon card is one. I have always felt a ‘feminine’ energy or vibe from this card, and my initial feelings from this card are to ‘watch your back’ around certain people, people who may not have your best intentions in mind, and ‘people’ usually, but not necessarily, being female. The card must be read with other cards to get the full interpretation, but feeling the card individually to me it is feminine.

This has been backed up by the fact that in the Wicca religion, and the magic of the Moon, the phases of the Moon are known as the Maiden (waxing), the Mother (full) and the Crone (Waning) – all feminine, as all are believed to be the faces of the Goddess.

And looking further, the characteristics within Yin and Yang have the Moon being a symbol of Yin (feminine) and the Sun a symbol of Yang (masculine) – and just to add that the respective animal symbols for both are tiger for Yin and dragon for Yang (I’m coming across a lot of dragons at the moment so this must be a ‘message’ coming through to me – I’ll have to wait and see what I’m being told though…) – but everything seems to be pointing to the fact that the Moon is a feminine energy.

I have recently mentioned that in 1642 the Codex Regius was discovered in Iceland. This manuscript contained poems written hundreds of years earlier, and the poems featured Norse mythology. These poems say that the Moon is a masculine energy and the Sun is feminine.

Apparently, in the early days, it was the case that the Sun was feminine and the Moon masculine, but over time their roles were swapped, and later languages describe the Sun as masculine and the Moon feminine.

These definitions changed with time, so, reading between the lines this would indicate that the concept of Yin and Yang, or the Wicca religion, are newer than the tales contained within Norse mythology.

I personally thought this would have been the other way around, considering the texts contained in the Codex Regius are thought to have been written in the thirteenth century. Obviously the stories would have been older, as the Norse beliefs are pre-Christian, but could they be pre 500BC, when Taoism was founded? And the Wicca belief seems to stem from pre-Christian pagan times too. I know I’m probably looking too deeply into things by bringing different beliefs into the mix, but the timelines involved don’t seem to tie in with the general characteristics of the whole Moon is feminine / masculine debate.

And that is why I say that at times I’m wrong. I find a piece of information from a particular source, which is backed up by other pieces of information, so my ideas are confirmed. Then, I find something contradictory, and other articles that confirm this way of looking at things.

I’m not saying that any belief is wrong, how can they be? But sometimes I feel that the information we receive may not necessarily show both sides of what is being told.

Yin and Yang represents balance. Maybe by finding all of these facts, I’m being shown a way to find my own balance. Or maybe, once again, I’m way off the mark.

I’m not confused, I just act that way!

I wouldn’t say that I am the greatest actor in the world. I certainly wouldn’t say that I’m the worst actor in the world either, although I must be pretty close – but, by saying just that am I pretending?

I don’t think I could appear in a blockbuster movie anytime soon, or an episode of Smallville for that matter either (if they decide to make a new series that is – never say never). I won’t be nominated for an Oscar, Bafta, Toma, or any other such award in the next year or so… although I may be discovered and become the next Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie in the next month, my movie career may take off and I’ll be on the front cover of movie and TV listing magazines for the next millennium.

I hope that I’m cast as a superhero. OK, I know it will be a bit of an easy role to play, a bit typecast if I’m honest, but that should make it easier to play. I’ll be able to explain things to the director when they ask me to do something the superhero wouldn’t do. (Speaking of typecasting, I never knew that it is also a form of blogging… well, the words are written on a typewriter and then uploaded onto a blog – it makes sense when you think of it!)

If I can’t be cast as a superhero the production team will probably need changing, but short of stopping millions of people around the world from missing out on a great film, my next perfect movie role would be a vampire. Well, I’ve got vampire blood in me. And I’ve got the teeth. And probably the breath at the moment. And going by how I have been feeling over the past few days I’ve certainly got the undead look. I’ll save millions in make-up alone. My performance will be phenomenal, as it will all be entirely natural. You couldn’t pay anyone to act natural. You just know that someone is acting naturally by the way they are acting. Being natural is completely different to acting natural. Current professional and amateur actors do a really good job of acting natural, I hasten to add before anyone sues me, but they are still acting. I’ll be being!

OK then, if the vampire role has been taken (humph!) I wouldn’t mind being a lizard creature who takes on human form to befriend the human race, but all of humanity turns against him, apart from a small group of people who need lizard man’s help to save the world. Lizard man has to decide whether the people who have become his friends are like the rest of the population and don’t deserve his help, or the actions of the few close people are more than enough for him to act in a positive way. How he acts in the moment will have far reaching consequences on the rest of the world, for the rest of time. Ulp… maybe someone else can have that role. I wonder who’d make a good looking lizard?

Anyway, superheroes, vampires and now lizard men are out of the question. I know! I could play a magical wizard who can travel through time to find out the meaning to a mysterious dream he had which, strangely, linked him to the year 1641. This wizard’s quest takes him through a whole range of situations, where he finds all sorts of amazing facts that have occurred in this one year. Maybe this is a little too far fetched though… no one would believe it. And the research would have to be second to none. And a time travelling wizard? Pah – what was I thinking?

Oh, I know. I could appear in a musical extravaganza. The fact that I sing in a unique way doesn’t matter… they can do wonders with something called Auto-tune nowadays, so I’d be better than pitch perfect. And I would be able to show my prowess at knocking pieces of wood together. And, I could get to play the harp as well (possibly, once again with Auto-tune). The story would have to be something special though. Something no-one would expect. A musical where the main character loses their voice throughout the whole movie. I could play that one really easily… there wouldn’t be many lines to learn at all! And they could then use the Auto-tune on the other actors.

What? That role’s taken as well? That’s not good… What’s my role going to be then? What should I do to put myself on the map? What can I do to make myself shine brighter that anyone else around me? What do I have to do to stand out from all of the rest? What’s that you say? Nothing? Just be me?


… Now I can do that no problem! Maybe I’m not the best actor in the world, but that’s OK. I’m the best me in the world. I’m always the best me. No pretence. No act. I can do what I need to do in any situation, and do it well. Or do it differently. Or not do it at all!

So really, I am the greatest actor in the world. I’m also the worst actor in the world as well. I can be anything that I want to be…

Lost for words…



Today, we.




I have no inspiration this evening. I started to write something about the colour red earlier, but then I realised it was reminding me of my nose, so I have temporarily scrapped that post.

I then looked at the Postaday2011 topic for today, “What can’t you say no to?” And I was thinking about my nos, which made me think about my nose, and I was in exactly the same boat as before. So, I have scrapped that post too!

I simply have to post something, once a day at least. I started the year with two posts a day, but only because I had set myself a little mini-challenge within the Postaday challenge, but by February that challenge was done. Mission accomplished (or nearly, anyway!)

So, on the First of March, I find myself in this rather strange predicament. Tears are streaming down my face – no, not because I am upset by the lack of waffle-worthy thoughts, but because of my cold. Yes, I still have it. Yes, my nose is still red. And yes, I’m still breathing fire. With heat vision to boot.

Not being one to moan about such things, I have just enjoyed a nice, warm, soothing hot lemon and honey drink, and decided that in desperate times, desperate measures are called for. A quick post about nothing, and an early closedown.

Well, it isn’t as though I haven’t written about nothing in the past – it’s quite an interesting thought actually, nothing. Try to think of nothing for five minutes… just sit there and ‘be’… do nothing and think nothing. Your mind will probably wander. It’s good to just sit and chill at times, so try it anyway!

So, there we have it. My latest post about nothing.

Hopefully, inspiration will return for tomorrow’s exciting hot-off-the-press edition.

Aquatom1968 and the whole team apologise for this rather unexpected turn of events.

Or, as Willow once kind of sang in the musical version of ‘Buffy, The Vampire Slayer’, “I think this one’s mostly filler!”

But, a filler with a test card. I knew this would come in handy one day! Well, my blog needs a few more pictures anyway…AQT TESTCARD1

Breathing fire

Last Monday, I was in the right place at the right time. Well, on my driving moments mostly, but they still added to the overall feel good factor of the day.

This Monday, today, I couldn’t tell you if I was in the right place or not. I’ve not had a bad day, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had good music on my driving moments once again. Work has passed really quickly, so that is a plus. The weather has been fine (but then, the weather always is!), but I have had one thing that has taken precedence over everything today.

One little, slightly annoying thing, that has been there all day. And some people would go so far as to say that it isn’t that little, but I’d glare at them internally and ignore them when they say it.

Others would look at me in horror, and recoil as if to attempt to flee from my presence, but know inside that they can’t do that as they are in work and need my help (I’d actually recommend the fleeing option, but they seem to think that I can help them …so I try) (Aaargh! I’ve said try!) (Aaargh! Again!).

Others would be hypnotised, staring at me and saying nothing, until I cough and snap them out of their little parallel world. Then, they’d say something like “Look at the size of that!” and head for the door.

Before you read on, I must provide a warning. The rest of this post involves descriptions of involuntary bodily functions which some readers may find gross. Sorry about that.

You’d think people hadn’t seen a red nose before, wouldn’t you? A slightly swollen, fluorescent red thing that sits in the middle of one’s face. Sorry, my face.

The dictionary doesn’t help:

1. the part of your face above your mouth that you use for smelling and breathing. The two holes in your nose are called nostrils.
2. the front part of an aircraft.

To make matters worse, their suggested word of the day is:

bray: to make the loud rough sound a donkey makes.

Yes, it’s that time of the month again.

I have a cold. I don’t know who had the idea to call it a cold, as it is anything but! I feel like I am breathing fire. My nose, luckily, is able to douse the flames as it is constantly running… goodness knows where all this water is coming from. I’m sure steam is coming from my nose as well… maybe that’s why people are staring… I’d ask, but I don’t really want to bring any more attention to myself.

What if I were to sneeze at a time when my nose wasn’t running? What if the heat up there had evaporated all of the excess water (highly unlikely)… I have a lot of papers on my desk and wouldn’t want them to go up in flames – but it would save me having to take them to the shredder bin. On the up side, I sit next to the fire exit, so an escape is handy if needed. Safety first.

I don’t know how dragons do it. They breathe fire all of the time. They actually do it on purpose. But they know what they are doing. My fire breathing skills are involuntary. Something may make me laugh. Then cough. Then I feel the burning sensation build. Then, the running sensation. And then I lose track of where I am. I sneeze. The office shakes. My nose burns. AGAIN.

And then… my eyes burn. Not only am I breathing fire, I have heat vision too. Heat vision isn’t one of my normal super powers, but it always manifests itself when I have a cold. Luckily, my eyes have the same response to the heat as my nose. They run too. And, yes, they are a fluorescent red colour as well. One more so than the other.

I should have seen all of this coming. I’ve had a sore throat all weekend. When I spoke, I sounded like I was braying, like a donkey. I love coincidences, I do!

The signs were there. I was still surprised when I woke up this morning, when really I shouldn’t have been. Next time, I’ll pay attention to the signs.

A good night’s sleep is on the cards for me tonight, so I’ll be ready for the world again tomorrow. Possibly with another manifested super power, but hey! It can be kind of fun trying out new things.

I believe heat-hearing is all the rage nowadays.

And Aaargh! I’ve said it again…

Dream of freedom

Last night I flew.

Well, I was actually swimming in the air – doing the breast-stroke – but I was flying.

I wasn’t actually meant to go flying, I was meant to go swimming, but there was hardly any free space in the pool. It was full. I mean, literally full to the point where people couldn’t even move. There was only a tiny amount of water visible, it was that full. OK, it wasn’t that full, but there was no way I was going to get in a full length without having to swim the equivalent of eight lengths to get around all of the people.

But I needed to swim. I needed to feel the muscles in my arms, legs, stomach and back working. I needed to feel that I was getting the exercise that I had gone there to get.

I decided that I would pretend I was swimming in the water. I would swim above the pool, but keeping in mind that I was swimming in the water.

And it worked.

I managed to swim a full length without even getting wet. For some reason, the people in the pool didn’t see me swimming above them. I don’t think any of them would have even thought about looking up. If they had, they would have been surprised. I know this for a fact, because I was surprised.

I don’t know why I felt surprised, because I have flown before – hasn’t everyone? But I was surprised that I had managed to do what I thought I was able to.

I flew… swam a few more lengths this way, and then had to go and get changed. Even though I wasn’t in the water, I was still wearing my swimming shorts. I think if people had looked up this sight would have probably made them look down again – and very quickly. But, I was there to get exercise and tone up my body, so they could have thought what they wanted! I was doing that for me!

Shortly after getting changed, I found myself on a very high bridge. It was a motorway bridge, and the traffic was moving steadily in both directions beneath me.

I now knew that I could fly, but wanted to test myself. I looked down at the road below, and thought it was a bit too dangerous to have a go there. I walked to the side of the bridge, which was over a grass verge. I was thinking that if I didn’t take off, I would land on the verge… better than landing on or under a car.

I brought my hands together in front of my chest, and them pulled them apart, as if I was doing the breast-stroke in the pool. I leant forward, and started to kick my legs in the frog-like motion you do when swimming. And I took to the skies.

I flew higher and higher. All around me was clear, and I could see for miles. I had moved away from the motorway and was now flying over the town. I recognised one of my friends down below – I think the flying had given me super-vision as well – and I flew in to say ‘hello’.

She was startled at first, and then casually asked, “How long have you known that you have been able to fly?”

It was this question that was the clearest of the whole dream. Not the swimming, or the people, or the sensation of flying, or the apprehension over the bridge… but this one question.

How long have I known that I have been able to fly?

Dreams are just dreams, some would say. Dreams are our minds sorting things out, others would say. But sometimes, dreams can be giving us a message that we need to hear.

I know that I can’t fly in the physical domain. I wouldn’t even attempt to have a go (in a pool or over a bridge!) but in my dream everything felt absolutely natural. I knew that I could do it, even though I hadn’t done it before.

OK, I have dreamt of flying before, but in last night’s dream I had never flown before. I’ve put this down to the many parallel dimensions that there are in the dream universe… I’d visited a new one.

The question has got me thinking about all of the other things that I think that I can’t do, just because I haven’t done them before. The things that I could be soaring high with, be extremely successful with, if I just gave myself a chance.

This part of the message is the part that allows me the freedom I need to be able to ‘give it a go’, at the very least.

I just now need to know what the ‘it’ is, and I can start.

I love dreams, I really do. I always feel good after the dreams that I remember vividly, and I love to feel good. Sometimes, though, I would like to dream a full answer, rather than a thoughtful question. But then, I wouldn’t have the fun of experiencing the being, doing or having what it is that I am meant to.

I’ve had a dream of freedom. Where I go… watch this space!