Too tired.

Early mornings and late nights are starting to take their toll.

My eyelids are heavy, and my eyes are stinging – and that is when I get up in the morning! Throughout the day they sting more and get heavier and heavier. I can feel the skin beneath my eyes drooping, and every breath that I inhale is so luxuriously relaxing I could simply fall asleep on the spot – regardless of what I am doing. Best be careful when I’m driving. Best have an early night is a better idea.

I was looking for a suitable image through the Google Image thingy, and saw this one…

If ever a photo sums up the feeling of sleepiness, this one is it!

Although I’m tired, I must blog. I have to post at least once a day, otherwise I can’t sleep. Even though I am as tired as I am now, I wouldn’t be able to go to sleep without typing something. Usually I write about anything, so this is really no exception to the rule…

There we are. Post added. Bed calling. Hope I don’t oversleep in the morning…


Simply Stunning!

I’m writing about me.

The whole blog is about me, my thoughts, feelings, ideas, fears, inspirations, experiences, dreams, likes and dislikes, moans and groans, physical changes, typing skills, hair, the occasional person I come across, more likes, more dreams, cosmic ordering AND the Law of Attraction, other universal laws, parallel universes, my take on history, and anything and everything that makes me feel good. And anything else that I can think of to write about on a daily basis.

I’m not even that bothered if what I write doesn’t make any sense at all – everything I add to this blog is my way of getting a better understanding of me. I write with respect because I am aware my thoughts are available to be viewed all around the world (and beyond; I type on a wireless keyboard so some of the letters must be sent to other places apart from my computer base…) If I write something that doesn’t make sense now, it may do so in a few days, weeks, months or years time – I’m that committed to get to know myself better – I am always filling in the gaps. And making more while I’m at it, but never mind.

Yes, this blog is about me. The title may give a slight clue there, but it is about ALL of me, not just my ego.

I wrote a post a while back about the many different ‘mes’ that inhabit the me that is typing this now, which will explain why some posts make more sense than others… one of the mes is a little more dominant than the usual me and his writing style may take over. Or hers too for that matter – I have a feminine side as well. A few actually.

Collectively, all of those little mes make up the whole me. The fact that I can see, hear, read, laugh, stretch, yawn, itch, sneeze, complain, eat, drink, be merry, and live is simply stunning. I can do all that, and more, without thinking of it (or them – I can do more than one of them at the same time… talk about multi-tasking!)

OK, it all comes naturally. I had to learn a few things along the way, but some things were always there. My thoughts have been with me since I was born. Before I was born, for that matter, looking at some of the thoughts I’ve been having. But they are my thoughts, and I like them. Even the cheeky ones.

My ego likes me writing about me. He likes it all the more when I describe in great detail just how fantastically good looking I am with my chiseled jaw, piercing blue eyes and six-pack stomach. Bernard then pipes up and tells me to look in the mirror. Bernard is my nagging voice and is usually at loggerheads with my ego. And me occasionally. It gets quite busy in my head when I’m having a three-way conversation with myself, usually when I’m trying to make a decision or try something new, like speaking to someone new. I’m sure I come across as a blithering idiot to new people… well, Bernard tells me I do.

But, things work out. They always do.

That’s another of the simply stunning things about life. Everything is going on around me, swirling like a vortex with events, people, memories, weather systems, decisions, disembodied voices and dreams appearing and disappearing at random, and I am in the middle of it, making my own kind of sense about it, and handling it.

We have lots to handle in our lives. These events are showing us that we are living. Handling living. Doing the best that we can and handling it.

That in itself is simply stunning.

And life in general is also stunning. Feeling good makes the stunning aspect sparkle. When you sparkle, you shine! When you shine you light up everything you do and everywhere you go. It’s a cycle… the more you feel good, the more you shine. The more you shine, the more you feel good.

I like feeling good. All of me does…

Quiz shows

What happened to the television quiz shows from yesteryear?

Classics such as Sale of the Century, where contestants answered general knowledge questions on the buzzer, earning £5.00 a time, trying to build up their money to get through to the final – but being tempted along the way by the latest hostess trolley at such a bargain price they couldn’t resist it. Other remarkable bargains were sets of pans, cushions and other items that are now regularly seen on the television shopping channels, but back then you could only get them from Sale of the Century… well, that’s the only place where I saw them anyway. Or another example is Take Your Pick, where contestants had to answer yes or no questions without saying yes or no, or nodding or shaking their heads. If they were lucky enough to get through to the next round they would choose a box and then be offered money for the box instead of the chance of winning whatever was inside. Usually, they opted for the box, and regularly won a pair of underpants. In both these shows, the contestants always left with something. I’m probably wrong here, but I don’t think they ever actually left with nothing.

In today’s shows, it is a different story. And the contestants seem to have to have a story to get on the show now as well. I mean, I tune in to watch excellent  modern shows, such as Deal or No Deal, or The Chase, get involved with the tension that is built up within the show, and then find myself having to hold back my tears because of the heart-wrenching tale the contestant has just told or the main reason for them appearing on the show in the first place. And the outcome of these shows is that there is no guarantee that the contestant will leave with something. More often than not, they are left very disappointed and the closing lines to the show is usually something like “Will someone be able to do it next time?”. And the awful thing is… is that it is entertaining.

I feel for the people with their sad tales. I understand what they have been going through and how so many thousand pounds can help them with their current situation. And I am with them during their disappointment when they win a penny, or nothing at all. I also feel their elation when they win £26,000.00 when they could have left with 10p, or their anguish when they win £26,000.00 and could have left with £250,000.00.

Quiz shows, I believe, are classed as light entertainment. But today, I think they allow us to become involved with those taking part, rather than simply watching them. We feel pleased when they do well, and feel sad when they don’t, unlike years ago when they won a kettle and £45.00 and that was it.

Where will the next generation of quiz shows take us? We’ve had the easy ride, and we are now experiencing the roller coaster. What’s next? The ghost train option where we have to watch from behind the sofa? Or the water ride where we have to wear bright yellow plastic coats to tune in. Or how about the virtual reality one where we are the contestant? We will experience first hand the winning and losing as we are the one playing. At least we’ll have the practice with the current shows being broadcast.

Reality realm

I spend a lot of time floating around in my imagination, history, parallel universes, and work, that I start to see them as my own personal reality.

I spend hours fantasising about the tropical island that I want to own, or the huge house that I want to live in, or the vast sums of money that are displayed when I check my bank balance on the cash machine. I imagine the book that I keep promising to write being an international best seller, and doing something that is inspirational to others.

There are lots of things that I think I want to do. I need to be realistic. I need to be centered, and focused on what I want to do. I need some set questions to ask for my dreams to start to become more real. And the answers to the questions need to be positive too!

Can I do what I want to do? If I put my mind to it, yes!

Do I mind doing a little work to do what I want to do? If I really want to do it, then yes, I’ll do the work.

Are my goals achievable? Yes, very achievable.

Are you stopping yourself from moving forwards? If I haven’t started to see any changes in any of the areas that I want to improve, then yes I am stopping myself.

Are you ready to start to bring changes in to the areas that you think need improving? Yes, I am ready.

Here’s the reality realm: NOW! Make the changes yourself. Slowly, but surely. Take small steps. As soon as you start to see that one area of your life is improving, another will follow. And another. And another. Start now. Live your dream life tomorrow.

Just call me Ack…

Or Tom. In fact, you can call me whatever you want to! 😀

I wanted a different title to this post to the one that I was originally going to use, which was “The World According To Ack”. Basically, it is another of my random ramblings on things in my life that have a common connection. The common connection this time, is that all of these things are a part of my life, and have “Ack” in them. So, without further ado, I present to the world my Ack connections:

My username. Aquatom1968. Mysterious ultra powered blogger by day – and night – and a mild mannered computer type – but not made the geek grade yet – person in works time. Part dreamer, part fantasist, partist (that’s an arty way of saying part artist), part thinker, and most part observer of things in my own unique way. More often than not wrong, but who’s counting? And also, my home… Aquatom Mansion.

My back. I’m not unique here – most people have a back. All have a background. Mine seems to go way back into the depths of history… and beyond. More later, or before, depending on how you view things.

A crackpot… dictionary definition “An eccentric person, especially one with bizarre ideas” would definitely not be used to describe me. I’m far too sane. Yes I am.

My cackle when I’m experiencing laughing Sunday all over again – it is contagious. Please don’t make me laugh. You won’t like me when I laugh.

Fallback – Blog posts I have at one side in case I can’t think of anything to write. I haven’t had to use one of these for a long time now, well, since last May.

Flapjacks – yum!

Flashbacks – 1642 and all that! I seem to have these quite regularly.

Gack! A noise I shout when I’m suddenly surprised.

A computer hack – which I am not, but you would think I was in work with what I have to do! Not moaning…!

Jack – which I may or may not have in my car. If I do have one I still couldn’t use it properly!

Jackpot – sometimes I think that I really want to win it, and other times I think that I already have!

Knackered – just sometimes…

Lack – something I am moving away from (intentionally), the opposite being abundance which I am surrounded by.

Mack. No, not the coat, Allison Mack from Smallville. I’m closely connected to Smallville. Being called Tom and being a mystery man are part of that connection.

Pack. I thought this was the collective name for a group of vampires but now I’m not too sure. I read somewhere that ‘bleed’ is more suited… a bleed of vampires appeared out of the darkness and within a split second I was surrounded. “Gack!” I managed to shout as one of them sank his sharp teeth deep into my neck…

Quack. When I walk around the lake I meet lots of ducks, and this is what they say.

Rack. This is what I do to my brains when I can’t think of what it is that I am trying to think of. This sounds like it should hurt, but it doesn’t, although it kind of does at the same time.

Snacks… yum!

Tracks. Favourite pieces of music.

Wacky – please refer to crackpot.

Yack. What I tend to do, but try not to do, on my blog. As in yackety yack. Talking nonsense. No, I backtrack! Try is not in my vocabulary.

Zack. I think I do not know any Zacks. But a thought is a part of me, so there’s the (slightly tenuous) link.

And there they are – my A to Z of Acks.