Erm, OK, Yaa…

I’m typing this post from in the bath.

No, I’m fine.

I have about half of the battery left on this portable computer device, and the lightbulb is good for a while yet. Summer’s on its way out, so things will start to feel cooler soon, but hopefully, I’ll be out by then… so it should be fine. I have no windows here in this bathroom, so can’t see outside anyway – I can imagine that we are still at the height of summer, so the cold isn’t a problem.

I’ll start at the beginning.

I decided to have a go at creating some personal grooming products myself.

I’m not much of an alchemist, however, and I should really have thought long and hard before I added one chemical to another. Unfortunately, I didn’t, and I’m now in this predicament.

I decided earlier today that my first product would be a nice, luxurious, bubble bath. Invigorating tones with an earthy hint, to stimulate the senses ready for hunting through the forest.

I wanted the liquid in the potion to be quite thick, so only a drop is needed and it can last for months – unlike the watery products that you buy in the shops that are fully used after three baths.

I had my top secret base product ready, together with my top secret earth scent mixture. I had some top secret jellifying compound and some blue food dye. I wanted red food dye but didn’t have any, and the shop only had blue food dye in stock. Gardenia Blue, to be exact. I thought ‘You don’t get any more earthy than a garden, so why not’ – and bought two packets.

I mixed the products together, and the smell that was coming from the bowl as I was stirring was phenomenal. An out of this world blend that would have stimulated anyone’s senses. C’est Magnifique! It really brought out the animal in me, I can tell you. It really made me feel good!

I stirred with vigour.

I broke the wooden spoon, I stirred that vigorously – but luckily I had another. I stirred again, and all the time, this aroma was being generated.

I let the jelly mixture set in the fridge for an hour so that it became more of a gloop than a liquid, and then I carefully spooned it into an ice cube tray. After freezing the cubes in the freezer for a further half an hour, everything was ready.

I ran the hot water for my bath. I lit some candles (that I had anointed with the leftover over top secret earth scent mixture) and placed them on the top of the loo in the other corner of the bathroom. A bit too far away to really notice, but the thought was there. I still needed to keep the light on to see what I was doing, but I thought never mind.

I placed the tray of bubble bath cubes on the side of the bath as I lowered myself into the hot, steaming water. I intended to try one of the cubes, just to see how the experience went, but, as my hand was wet, and the ice cube tray was still frozen, the whole thing stuck to my hand. As I pulled my hand away, the tray came with it briefly, then became unstuck and fell into the water.

Twelve cubes of untried bubble bath mixture were now in the water with me.

And this is where my problem began. The heat from the water seems to have had a metamorphosis effect on the concoction, or the concoction had a similar effect on the water. It turned brilliant blue, bubble-free, and set like cement.

And with me in the middle of it.

I know I’m part of the Cheshire Set, but this really is taking things a little too far.

Hopefully, I’ll have chipped myself out for tomorrow’s post, but if not, I’ll be fine. Although, I may not have a go at creating the shaving foam, which was next on my list…