The Superhero Diaries 5.8: Malfunction

Dear Super teams of the world:

This message is being transmitted and auto-translated to every super hero organisation in every country around the world, on the securest of channels, although it may still be open to interception.

I have no choice, and must send the following message.

This is Invisible Charlie of the Elite Force of Britain requesting urgent assistance.

Please respond as soon as possible.

The adverse solar activity we have recently experienced, that caused disruption to TV and radio signals, flights and satellite navigation systems has also had an undesired side effect on the powers of most of the Elite Force of Britain.

I have lost my ability to turn invisible, which, although isn’t perfect isn’t as bad as what is happening to my colleagues.

Psychic Sue is sending out psychic blasts which are affecting the majority of superheroes’ abilities to even think. I’m sending this from the lead bunker below the EFB headquarters in Mid, which seems to be blocking out Psychic Sue’s thoughts.

Bettystretch has stretched further than she has ever done before, and she is becoming wafer thin. If help doesn’t come soon, she may stretch out of existence.

Lycralad’s texture-altering ability has reduced his costume to mere fibres, but anything within a forty meter radius of him is also being affected, with clothing altering texture on those who are wearing it, but also concrete, wood, and metal are having their elements distorted and merged.

Firetop is ablaze, with temperatures reaching something close to that of the Sun. Luckily, he is still able to contain most of the heat at the moment, but he doesn’t know for how long.

Crimson Songbird is shrieking at the top of her voice, smashing glass and terrifying dogs all across the land.

Muriel Magnificent’s magical abilities are out of control. Like Firetop, she is able to contain most of what is going on, but cannot stop creating doves and bunnies. She reverses the creations, but they appear again.

Angel Change is constantly changing form into a variety of animals and can’t stop.

Felyne has become like a wild cat, snarling and clawing and is out of control. He has already damaged Parrot Girl’s wings, and sliced the Diver’s chest into ribbons. Green Gladiator is trying to keep Felyne distracted by throwing various objects for Felyne to chase, but soon he will realise this is a distraction and go for the Gladiator.

Sia Klath, the Stealth Gentleman, Raydarr and Viridian have all been frozen together with Icewind in the kitchen, which is now a solid block of ice. Luckily Viridian’s alien mind hasn’t been affected by Psychic Sue’s blasts and he is keeping everyone in stasis so the cold won’t affect them, but, as well as being trapped in the ice, he is busy doing that and is unable to hold back Sue’s mind bursts.

I’ve even tried to call on Supervillains United to see if they can assist, but they have their own problems with the solar flare, and are also affected by Psychic Sue’s meltdown.

The public are also experiencing this, so it isn’t just an internal issue for us. Lycralad’s element altering abilities are spreading outwards, and Psychic Sue’s bursts are getting stronger. The Puddleton Protector has advised that Puddleton’s town hall has been taken out of action by all of the councillor’s line dancing, shoppers are singing Land of Hope and Glory over and over, and their police station has had to close because the entire police force is playing with building blocks.

As you can appreciate, things are pretty dire at the moment. I can’t see it being too long before the entire country is affected.

If you can help, please come and do so.

If not, I fear we may just be seeing the end of the world.