Letters To The Universe… The It’s All Natural Edition

Dear The Weather,
Hello! What are you up to? Last week, you were cracking the flags with your rather extreme (if I may say so!) early heatwave, yet this week you are letting frost cover the ground. I had to wait for my car to de-ice before driving the other morning, which wasn’t a problem in itself as I had lots of time (unusual for me, but hey!) but you still caught me by surprise. I’m wondering if Global Warming has anything to do with this? Although that said, the cold starts aren’t really an indication of Global Warming, are they?

Dear The Weather,
Hello! Me again! I may have come across a little grumpy in an earlier letter, which wasn’t my intention and I apologise if I had done so. You do a very good job in keeping us all on our toes and alert, which is a god thing, all things considered. At least we don’t become complacent about you, no matter how much we may tend to moan.

Dear The Full Moon,
Looking forward to feeling the build up to your energies over the next week… could I please ask for a sprinkling of that special magic of yours to those that would like it, me included, as you know that you do harness some awesome power! See you next week!

Dear Blogland,
Here I go again with a few more really terrible jokes. I will find the world’s worst joke; and maybe, just maybe, it is contained within this little lot:
. I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
. I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn’t play any Seventies music. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrified.
. A man walks into a chemist’s and says, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’ The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’ And the man says, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.’
. I went to the doctor and he said, ‘You’ve got hypochondria.’ I said, ‘Not that as well.’
. A man walked into the doctor’s. He said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.’ The doctor said, ‘Well don’t go there any more.’
. A man walked into the doctor’s. The doctor said, ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time.’ The man replied, ‘I know. I’ve been ill.’
That’s it. That’s all I can take for this week’s Letter. More, I’m afraid to say, next week!

Dear The Word ‘Deedy’,
Meaning ‘industrious or ‘effective’ you certainly live up to your name. Yes indeedy you do! It’s a pity I’m not as deedy with my Spring Cleaning!

Dear Spring Cleaning,
I would love to say that you are coming along nicely, but that would be rather economical on the truth, wouldn’t you say? Oh yes, things are getting done, but not in an efficient manner. Things must greatly improve in this area, or out comes the magic wand… and you know how that works! I may also call in the help from a certain Moon Magic as well next week…

Dear Unscrupulous Data Gatherers and ‘Sharers’,
Here’s hoping that you are quaking in your boots with the forthcoming changes to data protection, with the introduction of GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) this month. I think your shameful practices need sorting out, and can’t wait to start reading about the hefty fines you all receive. Yes, your days, and those of your nuisance caller friends, are numbered. I feel like adding a little hehehe here, so I shall!

Dear Blogland,
I know that I am not a company or anything, but from time to time I may have access to certain details that you provide in terms of comments / emails / messages and the like. As I’ve just mentioned GDPR above, I thought it would be a good idea to mention that any details I receive about you will not and will never be passed on to anybody by me. Not that I know anyone of whom to pass the details on to, but if I did, I wouldn’t. I have values, and this is important to me.

Dear Helicopter Pilot,
Did you not realise it was 12:30 AM when you were hovering over the Mansion on Tuesday morning? The racket your craft was making would have awakened the Souls of the Grinds, and the world doesn’t really need that right now – and it takes weeks for them to settle again afterwards, so it’s a good job you actually didn’t wake them. I also find it funny that you decided to fly off into the night after I popped my head out of the window. As you gathered, presumably, there is nothing to see here. (Although there would have been Hell on Earth had those souls arisen!)

And Finally, Dear Fish,
Nice of you to swim up to the water’s surface as I was ambling by the other day. You are very graceful to watch as you mind your own business, doing your fishy things! Being Piscean, though, I think we do share a little link – although I couldn’t join you under the water’s surface, I’m afraid. Claustrophobic that way, me!

Thank you for reading,

P.S. I’ve just mentioned the fish beneath the Lake’s surface…

…well, that can only mean I simply have to share a photo of them. It. There were more, but only appears to have been picked up by the camera. Most odd indeed! Maybe next time.

Here’s to a FABULOUS weekend!