Letters to the Universe… The Why Me? Edition!


Dear Self,
Why Me? sounds a lot better than whiney, don’t you think? But even so, don’t you let the rest of these letters turn into a major whine fest.

Dear Health,
I know the changes in the weather and the temperatures can sometimes have a strange affect on your mood and generally how you’re feeling, but could you please clear up this feeling of swarfega I have all over me. I can’t stand up without feeling as though I’m whooshing around.

Dear Mind,
Please pull yourself together. Obviously in the last letter you meant to say vertigo and not swarfega, which as we all know is a strong hand cleaner. Although I probably would still feel as though I’m whooshing around if I did have that all over me.

Dear June,
Hello. Are you here already?

Dear The Police,
Thank you ever so much for returning the bicycle that was stolen from the garden. I hope justice will be served to those who committed the crime.

Dear Bike Thieves,
I hope you learn from this experience after justice has been served, and that you will change your ways, and therefore your lives. It’s actually quite amusing that the bike you attempted to steal, the one that you were filmed trying to damage in the neighbour’s garden, had actually been left out to be collected by the scrap-man.

Dear Poetic Justice,
I love you at times!

Dear Blogland,
I am preparing for my return. I shall be taking a few more days out from blogging, and then I shall recommence. Even if I can’t think of anything to write, it hasn’t stopped me before so I WILL NOT let it stop me again. The break has been wonderful, by the way!

Dear Britain’s Got Talent’s Audley Buckle,
Chicken and Chips! That took a while to get out of my head, I don’t mind telling you. Although I’d best stop now, as I can feel it coming back.

Ulp! And there it is!

Dear Weekend,
I’ve heard that you are planning a rather un-settled time, weather-wise. Please be advised that I shall be a chillin’ out come rain or shine, so you’ll be a gettin’ a no complainin’ from me. n.

And to finish… Dear All,
The temperatures are rising, so keep your cool. (Well, they are here in the UK!)

Thank you for reading!

P.S. Here’s a photograph of an electric butterfly, just because:

Well, they don’t really exist, but anything that fires the imagination is always useful, don’t you think?

33 responses to “Letters to the Universe… The Why Me? Edition!”

  1. colonialist avatar

    Dear Completely Sphereless,
    I do enjoy what you write when you are in the ‘nothing to write’ mode. The poetic justice going full cycle was particularly sweet, even if I can’t think of a rhyme for ‘justice’ off-the-cuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      I’d have to nip away and check the rhyming dictionary for that one, Col… although the full cycle thing rounds it all off nicely! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bcparkison avatar

    Well..your country isn’t letting my country see the video. Butterflies are always welcome even this electric one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thecobweboriumemporium avatar

      Trust me Beverly… you don’t want to hear it. It’s one of those things which enters your ear and then won’t leave for at the very least 24 hours. The mere mention that Tom gave it has started the song going inside my brain, and I’m not thanking Mr. Tom for it either.
      tsk.. what a rascal he is.
      love ~ Cobs.x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tom Merriman avatar

        Trills Chicken and chips; chicken and chips; chicken and chips tonight… lalala
        Hehehe! Hang on, that should be my evil laugh. Mwahaha! 😀

        Like

        1. thecobweboriumemporium avatar

          You little b.u...er!!

          I shall remember this, Merriman. Revenge will be sweet.
          [same evil laugh – only more witchy]

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Tom Merriman avatar

            I must apologise, Cobs. I don’t know what came over me that day. I’m not normally as rascally.
            If it helps, I’m STILL singing the bloomin’ song.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. thecobweboriumemporium avatar

              Well I might be able to help with that problem….

              When I have an ear worm (which can happen more often now I’ve reached the age of .. erm… over 27… I have found a way to rid myself of the offending song which plays on and on and on and ….

              Now when you first read this you’ll scoff and say ‘that won’t work’ … but I assure you that if you do as I instruct, your ear worm will buzz off.

              All you have to do is:
              simply sing, either out loud (if you’re alone) or inside your head, the Happy Birthday Song.
              ‘Happy Birthday to you
              Happy Birthday to you
              Happy Birthday dear _________,
              Happy Birthday to you’

              Singing it once won’t do the magic.
              You have to sing it at the very least four times, one straight after another. No gaps or breaks in the song. It HAS to be strictly on repeat.

              If after four times, you stop, DON’T remind yourself of the offending song … just leave your brain alone – for it will (quietly) continue to sing Happy Birthday.

              But .. if your mind wanders and you catch yourself singing the pesky song again …. Just repeat over, and over and over …. etc, the Happy Birthday song until you’ve forced the ‘ugly’ out of your brain. (I’m of the belief that it comes out through the left ear). 😉

              It does work. I promise. Just sometimes you have to try harder than others. But it really does work. (Especially so if you can ‘shout’ the song inside your brain – make it sound BIG AND LOUD AND PROUD inside your head.)

              You’re welcome. 😀
              love ~ Cobs. x

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Tom Merriman avatar

                Thank you, thank you and thrice thank you, Cobs! This little trick worked. And I even brought the song back into my head to try again… and it worked again! (I was a little worried about the Birthday Song becoming my ear worm, but that wasn’t the case!)

                Liked by 1 person

                1. thecobweboriumemporium avatar

                  It’s …. m a g i c 💫 ✨ ⚡️ [flick and swish!]

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Tom Merriman avatar

                    And I simply love magic!!!

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. thecobweboriumemporium avatar

                      W O W. Me too! ⚡️ 🌟 ⭐️ ✨ 💫

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Tom Merriman avatar

                      Hehehe. Wait for my next post…

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. thecobweboriumemporium avatar

                      Oh my!
                      Can’t wait now!
                      [sits on hands and tells self to just be still. It will come, just like Father Christmas does] 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

    2. Tom Merriman avatar

      I thought that may happen, Beverly, but hoped it wouldn’t. I have the same problem on my mobile phone – and that’s in the same country as I am!!! Technology, eh? But as Cobs says, it is more of a blessing! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Soul Gifts avatar
    Soul Gifts

    The Chicken And Chips was so funny! As were your mini letters. You are in summer. Here our start to winter has been the coldest for over 130 years. What happened to climate change and the planet heating up ?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      I think everywhere is swapping over, Raili. Where it wasn’t warm, it’s warming up, and where it was warm it’s cooling down.That’s why the ice caps are melting.
      Hope you aren’t too cold for long… and keep warm! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Soul Gifts avatar
        Soul Gifts

        Yeah, you’re right of course. We rug up and crank up the heater of an evening. The days are nice. We still got the rest of winter to go.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Tom Merriman avatar

          Hope it will be a pleasant one for you, Raili. And a quick one too.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. prenin avatar

    Hi Tom! 🙂

    Hope you enjoy your chill time!!! 🙂

    Blogland will always be looking forward to your missives!!! 🙂

    God Bless!!!

    Prenin.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Thanks, Prenin.
      I’m easing myself back in now, as I type…

      Like

  5. thecobweboriumemporium avatar

    Loved them all.
    You’re feeling ‘chilled’ to me. The putting the feet up is obviously doing it’s job.
    Missed you. . . . but my aim is getting better. 😉
    ~ Cobs. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Luckily, I’m a moving target, Cobs.
      A rather large one, but I move pretty quickly with it.
      But, like, yeah! I’m so chilled it’s fabulous! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Debbie Smyth avatar

    I missed the warning that you’re returning!
    This was a good scene-setting, but actually I really enjoyed the surprise of your Six Word Saturday today 🙂
    Welcome back!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Thanks, Debbie, it’s good to be back.
      Things may be a little sporadic for a short while as I pick up the pieces, as it were, but I’ll be back to proper blogging soon!

      Like

  7. Jodi avatar

    Where have you been? I enjoyed this post. I want to know more about you. Will you share? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Thanks, Jodi. I’ve taken a little break from blogging, but I’m gradually getting back into things now.
      You want to know more about me? Well, I have a little surprise for you! For the rest of this week, I’ve scheduled my posts, so between Tuesday and Friday I shall post a quick snapshot of my life so far. I say quick, it’s in four parts… and I say snapshot, it’s more a pluck this, that and the other out of history. It’s been very quickly written, and only touches a few aspects. It may not be what you want to read, but it may give you a little insight as to how this brain of mine works… It’s also rounded off with a little rhyme each day, and a different Selfie each day. Just because!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jodi avatar

        Well! I look forward to it!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Tom Merriman avatar

          I hope it’s good…

          Liked by 1 person

  8. anitashree avatar

    Lol..is it just me or each I’m back to blogging, you’ve taken or are going to take a break as well? Though yours is never as long as mine..hehe. I do hope you are feeling much better 🙂 and I am extremely grateful that there are no electric butterflies..at least in this plane..or else that would be another terrifying thing to handle for me..hehe

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom Merriman avatar

      Shree!!! Hello again!
      I thought the very same thing when I saw your name in the reader – but you know me and coincidences! 😀
      Don’t worry about the electric butterflies, however… if they’re from around here, they are the friendliest creatures in existence! And they bring wishes!!! 😀
      Good to see you again, Shree.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. anitashree avatar

        Ahaha..great minds and all that, eh? Well..the think about friendliness of butterflies, I’d rather they NOT be too friendly and mind their own business and give me a wide wide berth. They are free to grant me wishes from that far away place though! hehe.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Tom Merriman avatar

          OK, I shall ask them to send you your wishes from afar, Shree! 😀

          Liked by 1 person

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