Diner

The car stalled at the bottom of the hill. Adam turned the key several times, but it wouldn’t start.

He locked the car securely, and set off up the hill towards where he’d seen the bright neon diner sign from the main road several minutes earlier, hoping to use their phone.

Torrential rain pushed him back, but eventually he reached the trailer at the top.

He noticed the green sign on the door: closed.

***

Flash in the Pan time again, this time the flash word is Diner, and the word limit is 75. I’m one word short yet again this time; 74 words have been used.

Apr 8, 2013

Feel GOOD!, Mystery, Random, Time, Words

34 responses to “Diner”

Andra Watkins

Apr 8, 2013

Great response, Tom. Made me hungry. I love diner food.

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  Me too… chili and curly fries are my favourite!
  
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Let’s CUT the Crap!

Apr 8, 2013

This is wonderful. First he locks up the car securely (who can steal it? haha) and all that struggle getting to the diner and it’s c.l.o.s.e.d. Love this.

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  Thanks, Tess… he was a little concerned!
  
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Visionkeeper

Apr 8, 2013

Love it TL….I finally pegged what intrigues me most about your writing. Your ability to describe scenarios that make you see and feel them….Bravo….VK

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  Thanks, VK. I like to try to describe situations as though we are there.
  
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elenacaravela

Apr 8, 2013

VEry good! How I know that feeling;)

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  Thanks, Elena. It’s a bit disheartening, isn’t it?
  
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The Hook

Apr 9, 2013

At least you picked the right 74 words, Tom!

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  I had to cut a few back with this one, Hook…
  
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Carrie Rubin

Apr 9, 2013

I was wondering if he’d encounter some less-than-pleasant individuals (or creatures) in the diner, like in a Stephen King novel. 😉

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  He may have done if the place was open, Carrie… although the creatures could also have been lurking outside…
  
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lameadventures

Apr 9, 2013

Nice flash Tom. It makes me crave pie.

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  Thanks, LA. Chili and curly fries for me!
  
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aFrankAngle

Apr 9, 2013

OH … the agony of that walk.

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  Indeed, Frank. And for nothing!
  
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penpusherpen

Apr 9, 2013

ah well, Sir Aquatom, if thou was being particular h’about your English, thou couldst have put ‘would not’ instead of ‘wouldn’t’ for example… hey presto, 75 words, Full Limit. but then who’s counting… 🙂
Like everyone else I was just beginning to get my order ready for the diner… OH well, ’tis beans on toast tonight then… xPenx

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  I could’ve, Lady P, but there’s also a he’d, so I’d be well o’er the limit, word-wise, if I’d done so.
  I’m well o’er ‘postrophe limit wit’ this reply though!!! 😉
  Hope you enjoyed your beans on toast – not had that in ages!
  
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nrhatch

Apr 9, 2013

So sad . . . after all that and he didn’t even get a slice of PIE.

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  No, he didn’t, Nancy. He may have had a sandwich in the car though…
  
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beautifulchaos2

Apr 9, 2013

I really like this, It sounds like it could be the beginning to a scary story! Maybe you plan to turn it into a longer story?
Wish you a great day Tom.

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 9, 2013
  
  Thanks, Nikki, I could grow the story sometime in the future, I’ll have to see… this was only intended to be a short for Red’s challenge, but I like the idea of a scary story myself. Hmmm…!
  
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  1. Red
    
    Apr 10, 2013
    
    That is the fun of these. Some of them grow up to be really great short stories and a few novels.
    
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    1. Tom Merriman
      
      Apr 10, 2013
      
      Yes… they spark further ideas!
      
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Red

Apr 10, 2013

Awesome. I know so many people who this happens to all the time! Great flash, Tom!

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 10, 2013
  
  Thanks, Red.
  
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shreejacob

Apr 10, 2013

It is an awesome skill to do these really short short stories. It shows a form of discipline and focus! *claps* ;D

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 10, 2013
  
  It’s also fun, Shree… I’d suggest you have a go! I think it will get easier the more that are written (famous last words spring to mind here!)
  
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Sue Dreamwalker

Apr 11, 2013

Red keeps suggesting I try her Flashes in the Pan…. lol….

You and others do such excellent work on them, loved this little story.. x

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 11, 2013
  
  I think you should have a go, Sue! It’s fun!
  
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Novroz

Apr 29, 2013

oh…poor guy. He should bring a cellphone 😉

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1. Tom Merriman
  
  Apr 29, 2013
  
  Knowing his luck though, Novroz, the battery would be out of power!
  
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  1. Novroz
    
    Apr 30, 2013
    
    in that case…he needs a lucky charm 😉
    
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    1. Tom Merriman
      
      May 1, 2013
      
      He does indeed! 😉
      
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