10. Always ensure that your hair looks good.
You never know when you may appear on television, in the background – or worse – in an interview on News At Ten.
9. Eat well.
But not too well. Remember television always adds a few pounds, and although a little extra here or there isn’t that bad in the greater scheme of things, if you are being interviewed in tight shiny spandex, remember bulges can and do appear.
8. Sleep well.
Bags under the eyes are no good for close ups when being interviewed for News At Ten. Especially for viewers with High Definition 3D television sets. This reason is also very apt for point 9 above.
7. Create a catchphrase.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Has already been used so if you choose to use this one too, it may be a little confusing. Especially if you are being interviewed on News At Ten and somebody else shouts it out in the background for the other superhero.
6. Make sure that you have good hair.
This is a must for all superheroes. Even on bad hair days, a superhero’s hair must look good. Think how you will look as you burst through a brick wall to find a News At Ten news team and camera crew waiting outside, and your hair is terrible. You could be being broadcast live. And in Hi Def 3D.
5. Work on your secret identity.
You may have bad hair in your secret identity. Point out to everyone how bad your hair actually is. So much so that the first thing people will think of when they hear your name is how bad your hair is, and not what your face looks like. Then, in your cool superhero outfit and great hair your secret identity is safe.
4. Remember you are always being watched.
Not only by the News At Ten team. Everybody watches a superhero. They want you to succeed… they also want you to fail spectacularly too. Fail if you want to, but don’t give up. The key to success is to keep going.
3. Wear colours that look good on you.
Especially for Hi Def TV, but also remember the weather. If you wear grey, and it is a rainy day, you may not show up so well in a black and white photo in a daily newspaper. Or on older television sets. You may end up looking like an old 1940s newsreel picture.
2. Always smile.
Very important. As people will always want you to succeed and fail, smiling will give the impression that everything is going your way. It also feels good, and makes them feel good too. Everyone feeling good is half of the battle anyway.
1. Remember the hair.
If you have better hair than the person interviewing you for News At Ten, the interview will be short, meaning those other people who take the time to study your face will not realise that it is also you in your secret identity (with the terrible hair).
Never forget that every action you do, every save you make, is being watched by someone else. Someone who wants to be like you. Someone who wants to look like you. And someone who wants to be you.
++This has been a free public service announcement for the greater good of everyone!++